BrokenUp Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 After about a year and a half of a rocky relationship, my GF and I broke up. She wanted to get married, and I was not ready to. In the split, we were very amicable. I have told her that I felt it was very unlikely that we would get back together in the near future because I just could not see wanting to get married any time in the near future, and thus I could not give her what she wants. Further, even though I care for her deeply, I never "fell in love." I was consistent, open and truthful about my reluctance to get married, for the last year of the relationship. Since the breakup, she has continued to call me, and tell me that she really misses me. She still calls me "honey." She also tells me about all the various male friends that appear to be making moves on her, but how she really has no interest at this time. I am not quite sure what the best way to handle this relationship at this point. She and her mom will be coming to a nearby town, where my son lives, so we will be meeting up for dinner. I still also am on really good terms with her mom. Should I say that I think she should start dating others? To this point I have told her that everyone is different after a break-up, and people differ in how long it takes to recover. Should I be emphatic that the relationship is over and she should move on? I have told her that I do not really want to know about when and who she dates, and I do not plan to tell her anything about my dating life either, because I think such knowledge is just painful.
CaliGuy Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Yes, be up front and honest with her and tell her that you're moving on and she should as well. Then go on NC. As painful as it is you need to cut contact with her or she will never heal.
Darkwall Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 STOP stringing her along. I know it's hard but your continually speaking with her is leading her on. You're confusing her. Perhaps you weren't clear enough about why you broke up with her. Let's be fair here. If you're not in love with her that's fine. Somehow you need to tell her that. She deserves that much. You're not a horrible person. But she needs to know of your real feelings. You both need closure. Or else she is never going to get over this because of you. But really, you need to stop contact with her so she understands that your bread up is serious and official. She will in time heal and when she meets someone who will love her equally in return she will forget all about you. Just stop leading her on. You're not guilty of a crime so you don't have to feel like you're obligated to do anything. Just being honest.
gfto Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 In this situation, you have to tell her in no uncertain terms that you will no longer be communicating with her. Then stick to it. That's the only way to go.
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