I have become awkward and closed off after improving myself

[oregano]

Hello

Let me start out by giving some backstory as to why i started focusing on myself. Throughout 3 years i had feelings for 5 people in total. With two of them, the relationship never got further than the friendship stage. While i either kissed or hooked up with the remaining three. However whenever i actually asked these people out, 4 of them rejected me with something along the lines of "I can only see you as a friend". However the last one, was the one i fell the hardest for, to me she was perfect in every way. I made that clear to her from the start of our friendship. She informed me that she didn't feel ready to date anyone, and i accepted that. Our friendship eventually grew to best friends, that spent most of our time together. I never really gave up the hope, that she would eventually feel ready, and our relationship could evolve. 

Then at some point at a party, she asked me to leave the party with her, and we hooked up. I thought that she finally had feelings for me, and that night i made my feelings clear once again, and she said she would think about it. But i then find out 2 weeks later, that she started dating another guy in the friend group. This crushed both me. I went through quite a depressed stage, and lost all confidence in myself.

Up until this point i never really had any confidence problems, but this made me reflect on myself. After all we had been through, why would she chose someone else?. The conclusion i reached, was the way i looked. (i was quite chubby) 

Skipping forward around 2 years. I have now gotten the body i strived for (My looks are pretty average). I moved to a new city by myself to study. But whenever i try to talk to people i do not feel comfortable with, i am extremely awkward. Not that i don't have anything to say, i just can't seem to get it out. (this occours to people of both genders, so it has nothing to do with attraction). 

How exactly do i work toward talking normally to people again?

Edited February 13 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
shorten title

[basil67]

7 minutes ago, oregano said:

But whenever i try to talk to people i do not feel comfortable with, i am extremely awkward

I would imagine that most of us feel awkward when speaking with people we are not comfortable with.   My suggestion would be to focus only on those who you do feel comfortable with

[oregano]

The big problem with that, is that since i moved to a new city to study alone. Not having any friends here, can make it quite lonely. Using the word comfortable is actually probably wrong. Since i am extremely awkward with anyone, even though i can tell they are really nice.