TattooMyToe_2.0 Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 (edited) I and my husband were super good friends with our neighbor. For over 10 years we hung out, played cards, grilled, just had a great time. The friend would date, we would all go out- it was hunky dory! About two years ago the friend meets a new love; things move very quickly and within a few months the two of them are engaged. My spouse and I went over to friend's house for dinner with him and his fiancée, and another couple we know. Well, I drank too much and said some things were not so great- my husband said I was an ass the next day; the other couple that we knew thought I acted unremarkably. I called friend to apologize, sent an apology card to his fiancée. I felt terrible, about it. My friend called me about a week later and told me that I totally disrespected he and his lady, it was so terrible and he is no longer going to be friends with me. Like- he dropped me! After all the years we had been friends. About a month ago I get a call from a number I do not recognize; they call back again, then again. I finally answer it- and the person says it's him- the friend- he could really use a friend. He was kicked out by the (now spouse?) fiancée. I do not know if I want to revisit that relationship again. While we had fun, he was a downer- like glass half-full. Also- he got my phone number from my sisiter, so he had her number stsill but had deleted mine and my husbands? I just feel this is waaay to much at his convenience. Thoughts? Edited February 11 by TattooMyToe_2.0 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 The most important part of this unfortunate tale is missing ... what did you say at the dinner? I'm sure you weren't s***faced drunk and whatever it was must have reflected your actual thoughts. What issues did you have with this guy and / or his new girlfriend? I also find it odd that you describe your former relationship with him as "good friends," "had a great time," and "hunky dory" for TEN YEARS! And now, suddenly, you say he was a downer. It makes sense if you just don't want to revisit because you feel too awkward and weird about what went down. The fact that he deleted your phone number - well, why shouldn't he? He didn't want to continue the friendship. It's really up to you, of course, whether you become friends again or not. I guess the main things to consider are: 1) was it really a great 10 year friendship, or was it a chore because he was a downer? 2) what kind of things did you say that disrespected him and were asinine? and 3) if you do want to be friends again, are you prepared to have a real talk with him about what went down between you? If you're not, then don't go back. Do you often get drunk and say hurtful things to your friends? Or was this a unique situation? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 Depends on what you said and why. Most people get a little mouthy after a wine or two, but it must have been pretty bad to end a friendship. If it was something derogatory about his partner or their relationship maybe he's calling to say you were right . Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 What advice does your husband give? He's the one who knows what you said and knows the people involved Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 1 hour ago, basil67 said: What advice does your husband give? He's the one who knows what you said and knows the people involved Good point, and also, he was evidently just as good of a friend with the fellow as you were. Does he want to resume the friendship? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 13 Share Posted February 13 Was he still friends with your husband after he ended the friendship with you? Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted February 13 Share Posted February 13 not entirely relevant to the points the others made, but the story is confusing on the proximity of this friend. it starts off sayinig neighbor, so if this friend is your neighbor and been friends for ten years, and then this event happened that you got drunk and said whatever, and the friend dropped you. then the friend called you ... a month later? is that the timeline? and this friend is your neighbor that was avoiding you after all of this? Link to post Share on other sites
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