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Posted (edited)

This is a tough one. My finance has a super douche as an ex. They have a child together so I understand that they will  always have a relationship. The problem is  he has come onto to her multiple times. Even went as far as asking her to leave her phone somewhere so I can’t see where she is on our life 360 app.

 They text almost everyday and act like best friends when he is not on a meth or alcohol bender.  Yesterday I saw that they had a 2 hour conversation.

 

i believe she has been faithful I just don’t know how to be okay with them talking so much. What do I do?

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Posted

Ok so it's not just that he has come onto her multiple times.  She is just as much an active participant in this as he is.  Since they have a child together, you can never ask her to cut off ties with him.  He will always be in the picture.  She is texting him every day and "acting like best friends" with him.  She is an adult who can make her own decisions and that is what she is choosing to do despite the fact that she's with you.  There is nothing you can do to change this, since she clearly wants to be continuing this.  Honestly you would be a fool to go through with marrying her.

Posted

If they have a child together, it’s quite normal to text everyday and occasionally have 2 hour long conversations.

Even if they didn’t have a child, I don’t think it’s abnormal or wrong to remain friends with an ex.

The thing about the phone is alarming. I take it that she rejected his suggestion to leave the phone so that you couldn’t see where she was? If she agreed, then this was very disrespectful of you.

As a side note, do you really need to see where she is at all times? Is there any particular reason for that kind of control? I know I’d never subject my own fiancée to that, and I’d refuse to have anyone monitor me like that. It’s incredibly stressful and suffocating.

Posted
On 2/7/2025 at 3:11 AM, Zimm said:

Even went as far as asking her to leave her phone somewhere so I can’t see where she is on our life 360 app.

I find it absolutely bizarre and invasive that this is even a thing with some couples now. Anyway, your call. 

On 2/7/2025 at 3:11 AM, Zimm said:

i believe she has been faithful

Do you also believe she is over him? Or do you think she may still have feelings for him? 

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