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Very odd first date that did not go well. What do you make of it?


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Posted

Everyone is on their best behavior when you first meet them. If this is her best, I would hate to see her worst. You don’t need people like this in your life. You’re better than this. 

Posted
On 1/30/2025 at 7:29 PM, max3732 said:

I just don't know what to do in dates going forward.

Ive observed you posting re a number of different dates with reactions ranging from mild successes to general frustration,

Personally as someone recently back in the dating game,  the surprising difficulty in finding a meaningful connection can be quite striking,

It can be possible to go through a series of meets with different women without feeling anything close to meaningful,

I then look back over the years and yes find hope in that there were the odd occasions when a better experience came along,

Perhaps we soldier on in the hope of again finding that,  but at times it can hard not to dwell on previous missed opportunities when there were moments of magic.

 

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Posted

she sounds insufferable.

the first red flag was complaining about 5 differenf flavors of ice cream.  

that's lunatic behavior.

how even does a person not like ice cream, i mean, i get it, maybe you prefer one flavor to another, but DISLIKE five different ones?  

even the worst flavor of ice cream is still delicious ice cream.

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Posted
On 2/5/2025 at 7:50 PM, Foxhall said:

Ive observed you posting re a number of different dates with reactions ranging from mild successes to general frustration,

Personally as someone recently back in the dating game,  the surprising difficulty in finding a meaningful connection can be quite striking,

It can be possible to go through a series of meets with different women without feeling anything close to meaningful,

I then look back over the years and yes find hope in that there were the odd occasions when a better experience came along,

Perhaps we soldier on in the hope of again finding that,  but at times it can hard not to dwell on previous missed opportunities when there were moments of magic.

 

The best I've had is some mild success in getting a 2nd or 3rd date, but that's been very rare. Almost all my friends are happily married with children and it seems like "things just worked out for them" whereas for me I've been trying this dating for decades now and have nothing to show for it.

At this point I'm about 45 and still a virgin and with every passing moment my chances of finding someone to start a family with seems more difficult

Of course I'm going to keep trying, but I'm trying to learn from my experiences and figure out how to improve.

On 2/7/2025 at 2:39 PM, flitzanu said:

she sounds insufferable.

the first red flag was complaining about 5 differenf flavors of ice cream.  

that's lunatic behavior.

how even does a person not like ice cream, i mean, i get it, maybe you prefer one flavor to another, but DISLIKE five different ones?  

even the worst flavor of ice cream is still delicious ice cream.

That's what I thought. First of all I would think when I told her I was there she'd at least wait for me at the bench outside the place rather than walk in and start trying ice cream. I was parked looking at the front door and watched her get out of her car and walk right in. When I went in there it was like something out of a dramatic play or something with her complaining loudly about the flavors. 

Not that I'm an ice cream snob or expert, but this is one of the top rated ice cream places in the area and it's been family owned for decades. I can't imagine her not liking any of those first few flavors. She almost seemed more interested in complaining about them then talking to me when I first walked in

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Posted (edited)

One thing I've learnt over the years is if somebody spends a lot of time in your interactions complaining about heath issues/job stress/general tiredness/malaise she's generally not all that interested in romance.

She wants an outlet and someone to vent to, not a partner. Think about it, if you went out and met a woman you were really into, would you immediately start complaining about your bad back?

Of course not, because you would want someone you were really digging to see you in your best light, not all your misery and woe. Some people honestly just need a therapist rather than dating someone they're barely interested in as some kind of agony aunt outlet. If someone ends up putting you in that category, move on quickly.

Edited by FredEire
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