skeptik224 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 So, I broke down and e-mailed her. It'd been 2 weeks of NC. (she's initiated all contact in the past) Her b-day was this past Saturday, and I sent her card to the wrong address. So, I shot her a short e-mail. She was at work and was pretty cold - which if she's busy, is normal. We e-mailed a little back/forth. The initial e-mail was short and was how I sent the card to the wrong address. I ended it by saying "I think about you often and hope all is well." She replied. I thought for sure she'd be out partying with her friends for her b-day, but it turns out she spent the weekend with family. Anyway, like I said, we e-mailed a little about nothing. She had to run to a meeting so I responded saying that I'd talk to her later and if she wanted to get together at some point, to let me know. It's going to break my heart when she doesn't respond! If you haven't read my prev.posts, she basically wanted to date me and other people. She's never been single in 17 years. She said she still loved me and wanted to date me but couldn't commit emotionally to anyone. I know that she's dating but her best friend said it was nothing serious. Why??? Why do I put myself out there??? Why am I so frickin' stupid??? The last time we really talked via e-mail, we were going to take things very slow and get to know each other again. We saw each other that night, and ended up kissing. Then...she ran away scared again. What the heck was I thinking? I just put myself all the way back to square 1!!!!!!!!!
Art_Critic Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 You need to man up.. Stop contacting her.. You are not going to change her mind. She has told you that you aren't it.. Listen to her words.. don't put thoughts and words in her mouth or mind.. She can't miss you if you are pawing all over her .. you lose respect when you do that... I know it is tough.. We have all been there.. but you guys have broken up and are no longer and item..
slubberdegullion Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 A_C is right. So you messed up and broke NC. Sure, it maybe wasn't the brightest thing you've ever done, but just move on. You'll be better off for it.
Author skeptik224 Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 I haven't pawed all over here or been up in her space. I've given her all the space she's needed. I never begged or anything. She's the one that had contacted me in the past. I'm not trying to change her mind. I know that I can't do that...she needs to. I know that I can't make her grow up and stop running. and...I know that we are no longer an item. However, how can I just stop everything when she says all those things? I mean it'd be easier if I had total closure from her. But by her saying the things she's said in the past, how can I?
Art_Critic Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 I haven't pawed all over here or been up in her space. I've given her all the space she's needed. I never begged or anything. She's the one that had contacted me in the past. I'm not trying to change her mind. I know that I can't do that...she needs to. I know that I can't make her grow up and stop running. and...I know that we are no longer an item. However, how can I just stop everything when she says all those things? I mean it'd be easier if I had total closure from her. But by her saying the things she's said in the past, how can I? This is begging.. pawing after her I ended it by saying "I think about you often and hope all is well." This was targeted at changing her mind LET HER RUN...
Author skeptik224 Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 How do you figure that's pawing after her?
Art_Critic Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 It certainly isn't moving on and showing her that you can live without her.. They can't miss you if you keep trying to get them back.
Art_Critic Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Your grasping at straws.. it is showing her that you still want her back... It is showing her that you are begging.. it is pawing after her.. You need to let her go in order to get her back... Move on and date other people.. then you have a shot of getting her back.. showing her that you think about her all the time does nothing but pump up her ego and will NOT change her mind.. Why do it ??
Author skeptik224 Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 I think I've shown her that I can live without her...I've been doing it for the past 3 months, and I will continue to do it. If I were begging, crying and stalking her then fine, it'd be proof that I couldn't live without her. She's the one that has said she'd wait as long as she'd have to do be friends. She's the one who said she wants to date me. So, how is it that I'm showing her I can't live without her? Nevermind. It doesn't even matter at this point. I'm done with it. Thanks for your advice...
CaliGuy Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Your heart makes you do it and is often wrong. Listen to your brain. When the urge comes to contact her, think of something else. Spend time with friends, go to the gym and work out, invest time in hobbies. Do anything you can to keep your mind off her. It would have really surprised her if you were silent with her, past her birthday and let her initiate contact. That's what you want. Anytime you pine after her you give her all the power. If you want to reclaim that power you need to let go. That's the only way.
gfto Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 art critic is 100% correct. She sees your e-mail as pawing and begging. Don't kid yourself. You are clinging to hope that you will get back together with her. Why else would you tell her that you think about her often? It's over. Move on.
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