trixyfirecracker Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Here's the deal. My best friend from high school has been in jail for a DUI. When she was released she had no where to stay. Since I have small children I couldn't let her stay here. She has a prescript pain killer addition too. So a male friend (my friend) offered to let her stay at his house. Rent free! I begged her to not get into trouble. Since this guy was doing a favor for me. She lived there 3 days and brought over some of her druggie friends. Blew a wad of money on them. He kicked her out. He was afraid that since she was on probation, if she got busted he would go to jail too. She calls today and tells me how bad he was too her. Which I don't believe. She thinks he was trying to tell her who to be friends with....I cannot tell you how many countless times I have taken her to rehab. Bailed her out of jail. You name it! My question! She's p'd at this guy for kicking her out. She called and wanted to trash talk him today but I wouln't go there. She has put up a demand that I can either be friends with her or him. I almost hit the floor on that one! I have reached the end of my rope. So am I being a bad friend if I drop her now? I don't know what more I can do for her.
Darkwall Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 you have an obligation to your children first, period! I think you did the right thing, smart choice. You have a big heart for wanting to help her and your male friend also has a big heart for helping her. However, she doesn't seem to want help. Unfortunately, the only way she is going to change is the hard way. You and your male friend did exactly as you should. As for you... again, you have an obligation to your children. I feel she is a little selfish bringing her problems and exposing them to your children. This is not a friend. You did the right thing. You've already given her options to get help, she ignored them. Do for your friends what they would do for you. She is in no position to ask you to be choosing sides. Obviously you should choose the one who would bring no harm to our children.
Author trixyfirecracker Posted January 10, 2006 Author Posted January 10, 2006 Thanks! Let me say that she is not allowed to be around my children or house period. She has never been to this house and I've lived here for 2yrs. She has not even seen my kids in 5yrs. When she descided to get involved with prescript pain killers that's when she could no longer visit my house. My guy friend let her live with him no strings. He never put the moves on her or anything. He's in recovery and wanted to help. Found her an AA meeting. oh well!
slubberdegullion Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Some people you can help, others you can't. But it's not up to you to be her therapist/rehab officer and all the rest. Give her the information she needs and send her on her way. It's all up to her anyhow.
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