Mac0908 Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 (edited) I've been getting to know a co-worker over the last few months, with brief chats or lengthier conversations happening on average of once every 1-2 weeks. She is a super sweet yet somewhat reserved woman who I enjoy talking to very much and I know for certain she feels the same. I know this because there have been a few occasions where she has come to me and she also never tries to abruptly end any convos like other women in the office do sometimes. Although she's never outright flirted with me or taken the bait on any of the few times I've flirted with her (she just laughs), I personally feel she has shown good signs which are as follows: -Asks me personal questions and genuinely seems interested in the answers -Seems genuinely interested and/or excited in anything I have to say even if its not that special -Constantly laughs and smiles when talking to me -Talks to me in a very upbeat/feminine tone and not a flat/mundane tone -She often seems to linger around trying to talk more even when the convo has started to draw to a close and die down -Uses good eye contact All that beieng said, I STILL can't get a good read on whether or not this girl just views me as a friendly co-worker she enjoys passing sometime with. Speaking of which, the ONLY reason this has gone on as long as it has and has been as difficult as it has is because she's a co-worker and I want to be very careful, not bc I don't trust her at all, but bc I don't just want to ask her out and be blindsided by a rejection. That said, I do think it's a 50/50 chance. But to try and feel her out a bit more before asking her out, I went ahead and finally exchanged numbers with her, telling her to put her number in my phone one night which she gladly seemed to do. A week later, one night, I sent a brief casual text asking her about something she was talking about the last time we spoke. I was hoping to be met with some form of enthusiasm and/or excitement in her responses. In a very disappointing, unfortunate and really surprising twist, her texts were kind of flat, included a few misspellings, and didn't offer any kind of follow ups/questions to keep the chat going at all. Overall about 12 texts were sent between the two of us and most of them didn't warrant her responding, but she still did. This doesn't mean much to me at all though as it could just be a guilty conscience of hers knowing she doesn't want to make things weird between her and I. There was however one final text she sent which was in response to something I wrote the next day at 1pm still connected to the original convo from the night before. The text I sent, again, now the next day, was in absolutely no way a question and the convo could have just ended there without a doubt. That night at 9:30pm, 8.5 hours later she sends a brief response, laughing about what I had said. I found this response interesting as she did not need to send it at ALL, but did. It could have still been a guilty conscience, but who knows. I sent one more text as did she. Still no follow up questions from her, no what are you up to or how was your day, etc. I let things end there. At this point everything is in limbo. I know some people out there can be strange texters, and if I'm being honest I wouldn't be surprised if she, with her type of reserved personality, is one, but I'm also not naive in that I know she's more than likely not having this texting behavior with her Mother, Father or close friends. So it begs the question where do I really go from here since the entire texting experiment was pretty much a failure in my eyes. I haven't spoken to her in person since as we havent crossed paths. My plan is to see her in person which will likely be next week, see how she acts, and then reassess. I know there will be people responding saying to just get over it and ask her out, but again, given this is work, and given all the circumstances about all thats happened, I'm just not there yet. Thanks in advance. Edited January 21 by Mac0908 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 Stop putting her texts under a microscope. That's not going to accomplish anything. You're reading way into each and every text and it's just pointless. Just ask her to hang out outside of work and see what she says. That's the only way you'll find out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 Don't date coworkers....when it goes sideways you still have to see them everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mac0908 Posted January 23 Author Share Posted January 23 (edited) On 1/21/2025 at 1:53 PM, ShyViolet said: Stop putting her texts under a microscope. That's not going to accomplish anything. You're reading way into each and every text and it's just pointless. Just ask her to hang out outside of work and see what she says. That's the only way you'll find out. If this were any other girl, whether met through a friend or at a bar or at a dating app, I would have asked them out in a matter of 1-2 days. The only reason I'm being the way I am with this particular girl is because we work together, though not everyday by any means. (As I mentioned I only really run into her once every 1-2 weeks). I used the text messaging as an experiment of sorts, to gauge any possible interest and I was met with what mostly seemed like flat, non enthusiastic responses. If it went the other way, by all means I would be preparing to ask her out now. Instead I just don't see how that makes sense. She might be a bit socially awkward, but she has a brain and I'd assume she knew I was trying to escalate things a bit. Edited January 23 by Mac0908 Link to post Share on other sites
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