kevin_y Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 I've seen far too many posts in too many forums in which Asian guys complain about women not paying attention to them. I've seen FAR TOO FEW posts, like the one below from another site, where an Asian guy tells the truth like it is. This is required reading for all Asian guys: This is to all the Asian guys who complain that women don't pay attention to them. When guys don't get their attention, you notice that it's often because they have the negative traits that generally turn women off. They are either a) ugly b) lack social skills c) geeky d)low self esteem or any combination thereof. Some women like that sort of thing but chances are it will play against you 9 times out of 10. I have dorky non-Asian friends who have big problems with women and they have those flaws as well. However, I have NEVER seen a decent looking Asian man without a girlfriend or multiple girls in some cases. Believe me I do pay attention and take note of these things. Game is game. But some of these Asian guys, just because they are Asian, tend to blame their lack of game on racism. I'm not saying that subtle racism doesn't exist because I know it does. Out of every bunch you will always get a few women who absolutely refuse to acknowledge you no matter what. This is the Asian male's social "handicap" in the western world that is a very real thing. An average white male will always have an easier time dating than an average Asian male. It's just the way society has bent the last few hundred years because of colonialism, the media, and all the trappings associated with it. When women in the U.S. first see Asian men, 9 times out of 10 they are probably thinking of something stereotypical or negative. It's just the hard truth. Even those so-called "positive" stereotypes are, in fact, negative because they pigeonhole you into a social role based on race. Remember that as Asian men, you are usually dealing with multiple stereotypes at the same time. You're either the asexual and passive Mr. Engineer type who lives with mommy or you're the inscrutable Asian chauvinist who is said to oppress women. It's hard to get a completely stereotype-neutral appraisal; this is where you have to bring life experience to the table. This doesn't mean that you are without hope. Just note that when you fail in the relationship arena it's not always because of race. There could be general personality or other attributes there that are keeping women away. A lot of Asian guys who grow up in the states are still heavily influenced by Asian parents. Asian parents are usually only concerned with book smarts and future careers. Little to no effort is devoted in developing social skills or other pursuits. An emphasis is placed on being an academic or career-orientated robot. Now combine this upbringing with society's own stereotypes concerning Asian men and it doesn't paint a pretty picture. In fact it's a self-perpetuating cycle of being seen as a massive dork. I'm not saying being badgered academically is bad. It certainly has helped a lot of us succeed. But for many Asian guys, it's beaten all the game out of them. Unfortunately, as a male in America, you need every ounce of competitive spirit in the dating game or you'll get left in the dust. Asian women don't have this problem because it doesn't matter if she's a big bespectacled nerd, I'm guessing there will still be guys all over her. That's just the nature of the beast in this country. We Asian men have it harder so we have to try harder.
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