OfftheYak Posted January 6 Posted January 6 (edited) My girlfriend (27F) told me about a trip that she potentially may take with her coworkers which involves them flying outĀ west for a ski trip. They planned on renting an AirBnB and everyone would have their own room. The issue for me is that my girlfriend is the only female going on the trip and the remaining eight people in the house will be all men. I told her that this sounds exciting, but that the idea that sheās the only girl in the house makes me uncomfortable and that I would appreciate if she got her own accommodations. Am I wrong for bringing this up? Am I being unreasonable? I do truly trust her, but am not liking the fact that sheād be the only female in the house. Edited January 6 by a LoveShack.org Moderator shorten title
basil67 Posted January 6 Posted January 6 (edited) What exactly is your fear?Ā Ā It's not like they are strangers to her.Ā Given that she knows them very well and would be socialising with them the whole time, what is the point of getting her own accommodation?Ā What is the significance of being the only woman? Edited January 6 by basil67 1
Gebidozo Posted January 7 Posted January 7 She isnāt going to spend nights with eight potentially dangerous strangers. She is just sharing accommodation with colleagues, people she knows and has no reason not to trust. Unless you suspect that they are all part of a nefarious plot to do something terrible to your GF during those nights they spend under the same roof, I donāt think there are any grounds for concern here. What exactly are you worried about? 1
Johnthejohn Posted January 7 Posted January 7 I can completely see why this is worrying for you. It would be for me too. Have you any reason to assume that that her coworkers would try to make advances on her? Has she mentioned romance in the past in the workplace? It's a tricky situation. I hope it works out okay for you.Ā
Els Posted January 7 Posted January 7 If she has her own room, what's the issue? It's not like any of them will be sharing a room or a bed... If you are going to suggest that she should stay by herself, are you going to at least offer to cover the accommodation cost for her? Because getting your own place in a ski resort is going to cost a bomb. 3
Georgia46 Posted January 7 Posted January 7 22 hours ago, OfftheYak said: My girlfriend (27F) told me about a trip that she potentially may take with her coworkers which involves them flying outĀ west for a ski trip. They planned on renting an AirBnB and everyone would have their own room. The issue for me is that my girlfriend is the only female going on the trip and the remaining eight people in the house will be all men. I told her that this sounds exciting, but that the idea that sheās the only girl in the house makes me uncomfortable and that I would appreciate if she got her own accommodations. Am I wrong for bringing this up? Am I being unreasonable? I do truly trust her, but am not liking the fact that sheād be the only female in the house. I would not feel comfortable being the only female in the house with male co-workers .. but then maybe she does?Ā Ā seperate rooms in the house donāt sound too bad if sheās comfortable with that, however, i understand your concern. Ā Ā I wouldnāt want to go on holiday with male coworkers, Iām just wondering why she does?Ā 1
basil67 Posted January 7 Posted January 7 (edited) 40 minutes ago, Georgia46 said: Ā I wouldnāt want to go on holiday with male coworkers, Iām just wondering why she does?Ā I'm guessing it's because they all want to ski and are all available I'm fortunate to have a partner who skis, but when I've wanted to go without him (due to tag-teaming parenting duties), I've discovered that none of my female friends are interested. Or they can't get away.Ā Ā So I miss out Ā I wonder if OP skis Edited January 7 by basil67 2
Lotsgoingon Posted January 7 Posted January 7 (edited) I assume she likes and trusts the guys (coworkers) she is going with. And I am assuming they will look out for her. Unless there are some really bad guys in the mix, it seems to me thatĀ she will be far safer staying with the coworkers than staying alone. And they'll all have great late-night conversations and movie watching and bonding. I assume she wouldn't go if she didn't feel safe, physically and emotionally and as far as improper romantic approaches.Ā This group of people have likely already figured out that they like each other and get along well. I'm imagining she has a few buddies in the group who totally have her back.Ā I think it's totally healthy for her to go with a group of guys. Now, going with one guy--that would be different, not necessarily wrong, but more concerning.Ā What the heck are you fearing: a group assault on her? A group orgy with her at the center? Come on now.Ā Edited January 7 by Lotsgoingon 1
Els Posted January 7 Posted January 7 1 hour ago, basil67 said: I'm guessing it's because they all want to ski and are all available I'm fortunate to have a partner who skis, but when I've wanted to go without him (due to tag-teaming parenting duties), I've discovered that none of my female friends are interested. Or they can't get away.Ā Ā So I miss out Ā I wonder if OP skis This, or maybe she's in a male dominated field so her colleagues are all male. I've been in plenty of situations where all of my colleagues were male. Men in fields like childhood education or nursing will often experience this too. 1
introverted1 Posted January 8 Posted January 8 On 1/6/2025 at 4:34 PM, OfftheYak said: My girlfriend (27F) told me about a trip that she potentially may take with her coworkers which involves them flying outĀ west for a ski trip. They planned on renting an AirBnB This doesn't sound like a work trip, where someone in the corporate office makes the travel arrangements.Ā Can you provide a little more context for this trip?Ā
NuevoYorko Posted January 8 Posted January 8 I would be more concerned for her to go alone. driving in the snow, going to a motel or whatever by herself, it's not inherently scary but much more likely that something would happen to a woman on her own than one staying with people she knows and trusts.Ā And also way less fun. My advice to you is - sorry for bluntness, but - get over it.Ā You said you trust her, so that's great.Ā Show her that. 3
Gaeta Posted January 8 Posted January 8 My issue is not with trust but with security. As long as she has her own room and a lock on her door, I don't see the issue.Ā Out of 8 men, some of them will drink too much, some of them will use drugs, some of them willĀ just be jerks. It's not about all of them ganging up on her, it's about one of them drinking too much, thinking he saw some type of signalĀ from her and getting in her room while she sleeps. There is a lot of alcohol flowing at night in thoseĀ sky trips. Personally I would have zero interest in going there with 8 male coworkers. How boring it would be for me to spend days with a bunch of guys talking guy stuff. Getting typsy every night and listening to them talking about their hookups and how great they are at this and at that.Ā 2
BaileyB Posted January 8 Posted January 8 19 hours ago, Georgia46 said: I would not feel comfortable being the only female in the house with male co-workers .. I wouldnāt want to go on holiday with male coworkers. I too wouldnāt feel comfortable in this situation. For sure, I would goĀ if there were other female coworkers going on the trip and we were all sharing accommodation together. But not as the only female with eight male friends/coworkers.Ā But that wouldnāt be the reason why I didnāt go on the trip. I would decline to travel with this group out of respect for my boyfriend. I can appreciate why this would make you uncomfortable and I personally wouldnāt want to make a decision like this that would make the person I love most feel uncomfortable.Ā 2
MsJayne Posted January 9 Posted January 9 Any woman who would voluntarily be trapped in accommodationĀ with eight guys probably needs mental evaluation. Two drinks and most menĀ startĀ beating their chests and bragging about any tiny achievement in their life. Personally I'd rather run a cheese grater over my own nipples than subject myself to that. She must really like skiing.Ā 1
Gebidozo Posted January 9 Posted January 9 Judging by the descriptions given by some of the ladies here, those eight men appear to be some sort of dangerousĀ wild semi-orangutans with uncontrolled urges and alcohol mixed with semen in their brains. Iām not saying that they canāt possibly be. But why donāt we just believeĀ that the OPās girlfriend knows those eight guys and trusts them enough to behave properly? Why assume that those guys are necessarily beasts in the shape of men? 3
Gaeta Posted January 9 Posted January 9 12 hours ago, Gebidozo said: Judging by the descriptions given by some of the ladies here, those eight men appear to be some sort of dangerousĀ wild semi-orangutans with uncontrolled urges and alcohol mixed with semen in their brains. Iām not saying that they canāt possibly be. But why donāt we just believeĀ that the OPās girlfriend knows those eight guys and trusts them enough to behave properly? Why assume that those guys are necessarily beasts in the shape of men? It only takes 1 of them but more you add people more it's likely there is a wolf among them.Ā The law of randomness: Even though a single random event might be completely unpredictable, a collection of independent random events is extremely predictableĀ ā and the larger the number of events, the more predictable they become. It's sad but women are STILL vulnerable in these types of situations. Those are colleagues, no she does notĀ know them. She doesn't know what they're like in private. She may personally know 1 or 2 privately but I highly doubt she knows all of them.Ā
smackie9 Posted January 9 Posted January 9 She's a grown woman. She can make her own decisions. She is comfortable enough being around these guys because she spends 8+hours a day with them, 5+days a week for however long she's worked there. There are some things that are beyond your control and this is one of them. Just request to facetime every day or at the end of the day to put your mind at ease. l totally get it, I wouldn't feel comfortable about it, but she's her own person with her own POV. If anything does happen, that's going to be on her. The relationship ends and life goes on.Ā
scbrandon Posted January 9 Posted January 9 If she is comfortable with it and does not expect to be in any uncomfortable situations given that she knows them, what is the issue? She is an adult and capable of going on a work excursion without any untoward expectationsĀ 1
Els Posted January 9 Posted January 9 15 hours ago, Gebidozo said: Judging by the descriptions given by some of the ladies here, those eight men appear to be some sort of dangerousĀ wild semi-orangutans with uncontrolled urges and alcohol mixed with semen in their brains. Iām not saying that they canāt possibly be. But why donāt we just believeĀ that the OPās girlfriend knows those eight guys and trusts them enough to behave properly? Why assume that those guys are necessarily beasts in the shape of men? Seriously, it sounds like people are thinking that the gf picked up random dudes at a bar instead of going with friends whom she's presumably known for a while... Just FYI, you're more at risk from ONE man in a private place with nobody else around, than you are with six or seven different people. There's bound to be at least one person that will bail and probably report it, even if it's just to protect themselves from being implicated. If it's just one man, it's your word against his. Yet for some reason half of the people on this board will also tell a woman that she's "old-fashioned" and "frigid" for not wanting to be alone with a man whom she's only talked to for a week and met three times. Ā It's weird and warped. I would trust my male friends/colleagues ANY DAY over a man I've only had three dates with. Even in the extremely unlikely event that OP's gf's buddies are all the filth of society, it's up to her discretion what she believes the risks are. She's an adult, she can make her own decisions. Sorry, but men don't own women any longer, it's 2025. You express your feelings once, you offer a compromise (like going with her or paying for solo accommodation for her), and then you let it be. 2
Gaeta Posted January 9 Posted January 9 OP has a habit of not going back to his thread so we risk going in circle.
Els Posted January 9 Posted January 9 Yeah, fair point. I glanced at OP's post history and it seems like he has a history of retroactive jealousy too, so... Ā
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