dazed343 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 So if you've read my previous threads I broke up with my ex of 8 months in very early November. I had actually moved out to her small town in a different province and then after being there 2 1/12 months was told to return home, she didn't want to date. Anyways, fast forward to the past 2 months. I was working on improving myself until in early December I met this girl who was twice as great as my ex and we hit it off really well. We'd been seeing eachother for all of december on weekends maybe a day or two during the week. She wasn't sure she wanted a relationship right away because she'd been dumped from a 4yr relationship last January, apparently her ex cheated on her. Anyways I tried my best, gave her space, only saw her on the weekends, but even still I could alot of times sense she was withdrawing, keeping distance. It's like her actions/affection were different from her emotions she was telling me. I'd asked her a few times and then this weekend I could sense again something was wrong so I brought it up. We had a long talk today and yeh, she said she wasn't ready to see anyone yet, it was just too much for her. Thing is, it's like what my ex said to me all over again. I kinda feel like I'm going backwards now, not really recovering.
JS17 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Same exact thing happened to me last year. Dumped in January. Started dating someone else a few months later, dumped the end of June. It really messed with my head. Now 6 months later I'm starting to see myself return to normal bit by bit. I stopped dating for the whole time, not really my choice but I'm glad it happened that way. I think it just would have messed me up more. Maybe take some time for yourself to recover.
heartnsoul Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 You rebounded. Unfortunately, when you get involved in a rebound situation and it fails....it has a tendency to hit you twice as hard. You weren't fully recovered from your first break up which has compounded your grief with this most recent loss. Take a relationship breather. Work on yourself and try not to involve yourself intimately with anyone until you're strong enough and truly ready. I wish you all the best.
Brittanyjean06 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 when rebound doesn't work- doesn't it bring back all the feelings from your other ex- and you start realizing your not over them?
Author dazed343 Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 when rebound doesn't work- doesn't it bring back all the feelings from your other ex- and you start realizing your not over them? yep, very much so. I've been having dreams about my ex lately too.
Brittanyjean06 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 im sorry!, your not hurt by your rebound?? after my little rebound fling- i felt the same way to:( all the other feelings came back, and dreams started again!
Author dazed343 Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 I am hurt very much by my rebound experience. The girl I was just seeing was in many ways better then my ex of 8 months which is why it hurts that she doesn't want to see anyone right now and ended things between us after such a short time. About my dreams, I just meant lately I've been having a few dreams about my Ex of 8 months which has started to bring back memories and thoughts of her into my mind. It's like I'm taking steps backwards instead of forwards. I feel the pain coming back because this new relationship didn't work out.
islandlove Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Hello, i'm going through similar feelings. i just ended a rebound relationship. and i think i feel worse then i did with the first break up. i knew i wasn't over the first breakup when i got into this relationship. i guess i thought it would be different somehow. that maybe it would last. who was i kidding? besides myself and my now ex-bf. i guess as long as i learn from this experience, this pain and hurt feeling in my heart some good will come of it. just sucks having to start this healing process all over again. i don't remember being this depressed last time. maybe i was and i just worked through it. i wish you the best Dazed!
Brittanyjean06 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 yeah but when you say start the healing process over? you meen with the ones you really loved- not the rebounds im asking this because im confused and want to understand correctly! sorry!
JS17 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 yeah but when you say start the healing process over? you meen with the ones you really loved- not the rebounds im asking this because im confused and want to understand correctly! sorry! One of the worst parts of rebounding is that when it ends you have to get over the loss of both people. You get into the rebound when you're not completely healed from your lost love and then when the rebound ends you have to go back to geting over your lost love. On top of that you've just had another, yet less significant, relationship end losing another person that you cared about. make sense?
islandlove Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 i mean start the healing process over with myself. to get myself stable and feeling good again. to work on me! that includes dealing with emotions that are built up over the breakup. to get myself back in touch with family and friends that will help me heal.
Geoffrey Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 ....my ex and i have been apart for 7 weeks now and she took up with someone else right away. I can tell she still has feelings for me, though...I can just tell. I know how to read between lines and I can do it very well. I still have things at her place and she's not in a hurry for me to get them...stalling? Or in too much emotional pain to face me leaving....for probably the last time....? I'm very confused about that. How badly does she want this breakup, anyway? It's generally NOT a good idea to dash into something else before you've healed up from the first one you got out of. I have very little room to talk, though....because I've done it myself. And six months down the line, the feelings for my ex came over me like a tidal wave, it was sooooo unexpected and I broke down and cried...REALLY hard. I don't know where they came from, but something just triggered them...so it's best to let your waves flatten out and your winds die down to a Category 1 before you attempt to start something serious.
Author dazed343 Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 well I feel SUPER crappy now. So my when my rebound girl breaks things off yesterday she swears left right and center it's her and she's just not ready to enter into a relationship just yet. She still needs time to work on herself. I know she's the really outgoing type and I'm more of a quiet guy but I mean I tried everything in my power to make her happy, treat her like gold. Then today I find out she's back on her dating site with an updated profile stating she wants such and such from a guy (totally different then how I am), so now not only did I get rejection from my first breakup and ex, now I'm feeling like crap a second time, thinking it REALLY was me with the rebound, Im just not right for her. I would have liked the truth. My dad always said people respect you more when you're upfront with them.
Brittanyjean06 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Yeah i get it! but why would you be hurt over the rebound- i know it opens up reality- but do you really care that their gone- i meen dont people loose feelings for their rebound? well i guess you can still care for someone while loving someone else!
Brittanyjean06 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Yeah but if i was getting broken up with, I woulden't want respect for them- lol
JS17 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 well i guess you can still care for someone while loving someone else! Of course you can. If you lost a friend or a family member or a pet you would be upset. Why not a new boyfriend? In my case, I actually think my rebound was far better suited for me than my ex so here I was screwing up what could have been a great relationship because of a bad one. For me, I was pretty upset about that and of course about losing someone who was a big part of my life, even if it only was for a few months. I think that as long as there are feelings involved a breakup will hurt.
Brittanyjean06 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 yes your right! but when people say rebound- i autmatically think " just to get over the other person" and the other person has feeling but the other one is just trying to get over the other
Author dazed343 Posted January 10, 2006 Author Posted January 10, 2006 I didn't mean to say she was a rebound, that's just the term or so it seems people use. To me she was my gf even though we dated for only a very short time. I spoke with her today, she says it really wasn't me..... I dunno... Im just hurt. I'm hurt for alot of reasons. It didn't work out with this new girl who in my eyes was ten times better then my ex, because I find myself back at square one feeling the rejection, I've had dreams of my ex the past few nights, and yeh, Im still not over my ex which still hurts alot. More so now but the hurt isn't all from my ex but everything in general. I still feel alot better then I did 2 months ago when my ex told me to go back to my city, I mean then I had to start all over. Now I have a good new job, I'm getting myself set up again so things are better, but I still find myself back with this hurt that I felt 2 months ago. Maybe it's because it feels the same.... I know when the new girl broke things off it was almost a repeat of what my ex said and did. It's the dumpee who always feels it, you feel rejected like you did something wrong or wern't good enough for them. Anyways, I talked to her today and she said again it wasn't me she was just checkin out the dating sight because she though it might make her feel like it really was me and she was hurt. I dunno... I really don't, life sucks sometimes, but then you learn that early on in life, the world can be a shi77y place.
Recommended Posts