Lost friendship

[Angel29]

I was friends with a woman for nearly 20 years who I knew at school. We didn’t see each other for a while then 5 years ago we met a few times and she seemed lovely as before she was a good friend but could be sarcastic at times.

The last time I met her on November 2019 we met up and I had been off work ill for months and had long term viral issues with really bad chest pains. At the time I did not know I had anaemia which was causing this excruciating pain. She said I was lazy for not working and emphasised the work lazy when she said it. I didn’t say anything as I was unwell and had not got the energy to confront her. I felt if it could not get any worse I was judged by a friend. Some people in society are judgy about unemployment yet when she had depression and was signing on I never judged her.

After that I blocked her on social media and my WhatsApp then a few weeks later she sent a birthday card and Christmas card I never responded. 

I got back into a new job a few months later as I needed money as I had no income. It took a few years to sort my health out while I was working full time which thankfully my health is good now.

Recently I have thought about her as I know she still lives at home and her family home was sold when I drove past. I looked on Instagram as I had started a new account and found out her mum passed away last year and she said she hit rock bottom. I know it must have been hard as she was a carer as her mum had MS for 40 years.

At time I do miss her as she could be a good friend. I really wish I confronted her at the time as she probably wonders why I cut her off and I should not have allowed her to be so disrespectful but I had not got the energy. I don’t like ghosting people.

Is it worth unblocking her on Facebook? I unblocked her on WhatsApp out of curiosity. I feel I always have these what ifs because I never said my piece.

[basil67]

I'm sorry your friendship crashed and burned like this.  However, you can't stop disrespectful people from being disrespectful.  And confronting her back then would only have caused an argument.    And if you unblock her now and raise the previous issues, it will still cause an argument.

Best to leave her in the past

 

[Beautifully Complicated]

You put distance between you two for a reason. While she may be a good friend, that doesn't mean she is a good friend to/for you. First time shame on her, second time shame on you. Always remember that potential isn't who someone is and you can and will get hit with the reality of who they are everytime. Leave her right where she is.