Lishy Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 OH MY GOD I can't believe what I done! I am so embarressed that I didnt even want to write about this but I have to in order to get it out! You all know my drive by man! Well lately I have felt really lonely and bored with my life. Tonight my son was at his dads again and I was feeling really sorry for myself. I have this guy friend (who I have kissed whilst I was drunk and it seemed like a good idea), he text me tonght asking if I wanted to come around to his house (this was completly out of the blue) and have a cuddle. I had already discussed with him after that I wanted him as a friend and he was cool with it ... He is a sweet guy but has loads of girls and that doesnt do it for me! So I replied "Hey I thought we spoke about just being friends" So he says "well a kiss and cuddle never hurt anyone and you are so good at it" So I had a joke with him and no one got offended or hurt. Well ........ After that text all I could think about was Mr Driveby and OH MY GOD I cant believe I did this ..... I text him!!!!!!!!!! After 6 weeks no contact! All I said was Hiya, hows it hanging ........ As soon as I sent it I wanted to smash my phone and hide under my duvet! I am so let down with myself ..... I feel so bad right now and even though I am so embarressed I had to tell you all. I knew he wouldnt reply so why did I send it? I sort of convinced myself that it was just a friendly text with no meaning! Doh! Man this guy is in my head so bad I wish I could take a pill to dislodge him from my brain! Ok over to you guys to tell me how feckin dumb I am!
Author Lishy Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 Ps It's 1am and I cant sleep as I feel so damn stupid and anxious!
slubberdegullion Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Lishy, sweetheart, relax, willya? You're getting yourself all in a lather over nothing. So you backslid a little bit. BIG FREAKIN DEAL. It doesn't mean anything, regardless of whether he messages you back or not. So have a glass of wine. Take a hot bath. Relax. Watch some dumb movie. I'll be over shortly...
Author Lishy Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 Oh Slubsy I feel so silly babe Why did I do something so stupid! When I think about it I cringe!!!!!!!! If this was a friend I would think get some pride the guy is not interested! Ps the bath is running, the wine is chilling ........ Hurry!!!!!
johan Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 OH MY GOD I can't believe what I done! ... Ok over to you guys to tell me how feckin dumb I am! You are really feckin dumb. I thought you were super-human. I'm so disappointed. Now go to sleep.
Author Lishy Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 You are really feckin dumb. I thought you were super-human. I'm so disappointed. Now go to sleep. :laugh: :laugh:
Art_Critic Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Well evidently him driving by doesn't have a negative effect on you.. and you want to be with him and contact him Him driving by is driving you nuts.. You either to need to keep this guy or get rid of him... But pick one if you don't you are going to go insane..
Author Lishy Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 If I had the choice to keep him I would
Lonestar Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Lishy, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Many of us slip up and contact the ex's when we know we shoudn't. I usually cave after a few drinks and when I haven't gotten laid in awhile. If he had left you alone and stopped driving by your house, you never would have texted him. His driving by is what's keeping him alive in your thoughts and your heart. It's so hard to let go of someone you love when they won't leave you the f*ck alone. I know the drill, I'm living it too, honey.
Art_Critic Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 If he had left you alone and stopped driving by your house, you never would have texted him. Good point Lonestar
Author Lishy Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 I bet he saw that text and smiled to himself! Oh how I must have raised his ego! I could slap myself! (only I dont like pain)
Art_Critic Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 I think you need to cut yourself some slack..Everyone thinks so and you need some sleep.. Let it go.. We have all done it and wished we hadn't
Author Lishy Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 Well it will be easy for me to ignore him now - If he beeps up at me again (Like he did again yesterday) I will be able to turn my back on him without feeling rude and guilty - Lets see how HE likes being ignored! Maybe he will stop driving by then!
Lonestar Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 I bet he saw that text and smiled to himself! Oh how I must have raised his ego! I could slap myself! (only I dont like pain) Lish, think of it this way.... if the guy is driving by your house then he obviously is obsessed with you. Most likely he's looking to see if you're with someone else. Now you have just done the same thing he's been doing to you. He's sitting home reading that text over and over and over, not knowing what the hell to do. Trust me, you have him a little screwed up right now.
Author Lishy Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 Lishy, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Many of us slip up and contact the ex's when we know we shoudn't. I usually cave after a few drinks and when I haven't gotten laid in awhile. If he had left you alone and stopped driving by your house, you never would have texted him. His driving by is what's keeping him alive in your thoughts and your heart. It's so hard to let go of someone you love when they won't leave you the f*ck alone. I know the drill, I'm living it too, honey. It sucks doesnt it Lonestar! I compare every guy I meet with him and he is nothing special to look at! But we connect like hell and I miss his cuddles so much!
Author Lishy Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 Lish, think of it this way.... if the guy is driving by your house then he obviously is obsessed with you. Most likely he's looking to see if you're with someone else. Now you have just done the same thing he's been doing to you. He's sitting home reading that text over and over and over, not knowing what the hell to do. Trust me, you have him a little screwed up right now. I question myself as to his motives for driving past! Maybe it is no big deal to him so he doesnt even think about what route he is taking! Surely if he was interested he would have replied?
Lonestar Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 I question myself as to his motives for driving past! Maybe it is no big deal to him so he doesnt even think about what route he is taking! Surely if he was interested he would have replied? Yes, it does suck. My ex is an @ss, but we have a fabulous sexual connection and a love I've never felt (as insane and screwed up as it is). It's hard to get over people like that. As far as not replying, no it doesn't mean he isnt interested. Sounds like he' playing a game. He's not going to reply right away because he'll look desperate and he wants to see how far you'll go to pursue him. Try not to. Eventually he'll volley the ball back to your court.
Back2One Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 It's so much easier to hate but the heart won't allow that to happen for long. Lonely is a mean thing and connection is so rare that you let go when it happens. Regardless of motive your heart over rides your mind into thinking wrong is right. About the time you feel like you are getting over something though, here comes that feeling again. It doesn't matter what causes it. It always seems to be there waiting. Talking never hurts. But if he's full of it, take it with a grain for the most part.
JS17 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Ok maybe I'm feeling a bit evil today, I'm kind of sleep deprived (see cat thread) but you can use this to your advantage. NC is broken. You took the step to contact him. Why not contact him again to confront him about his drive by habits? Yes it would have been best if you could ignore it but the doors are open now. I say use this to put the power back in your hands and tell him to stop with the drive bys. He'll never know that you texted him because you were lonely. I'm sure people will disagree with that but it's what I would do.
Author Lishy Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 He is playing a game with me! He knows how pissed I get when he does not reply to me and he is loving it! I wish we could swear here I would love to call him all the names under the sun lol
Back2One Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Yes! He is playing a game. Games of the heart are never fair. Apparently he is loving it and apparently his actions are working on you. If he does call, don't answer. That puts things back in perspective and maybe you can confront him on the drive bys later. For now though, don't answer. Don't give into the game.
heartnsoul Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 I agree with JS17. What's done is done. If she ignores a return call, she's not only playing the game along with him but not getting anything from it. Take his attempt at contact and wipe the slate clean by either telling him to find another route or ask him what his deal is.
Lonestar Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Ok maybe I'm feeling a bit evil today, I'm kind of sleep deprived (see cat thread) but you can use this to your advantage. NC is broken. You took the step to contact him. Why not contact him again to confront him about his drive by habits? Yes it would have been best if you could ignore it but the doors are open now. I say use this to put the power back in your hands and tell him to stop with the drive bys. He'll never know that you texted him because you were lonely. I'm sure people will disagree with that but it's what I would do. Good idea JS17!
JS17 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 hooray! I totally thought I was going to get reamed for that.
Back2One Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Well JS17, I won't say reamed, but I believe that it puts her back into his court. Sure he needs to be confronted for his actions. I would wait for that. Patience would drive him crazy more than likely.
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