Madeleine Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 It puzzles me. My boyfriend and i have been together for just over a year, and from day 1 he has always turned his phones off when we are together, both his house phone and his cell. I asked him about it once and he said he turned them off because he doesn't want any interruptions to our time together. I honestly don't think there's any reason for me to suspect him of anything untoward, but it's not something i've experienced before and i wondered if other people turned their phones off when they're with their SO? 1
helena abadi Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 only if they are trying to hide their whereabouts or evade calls from someone else...like another partner or a wife. seriously.
Author Madeleine Posted January 8, 2006 Author Posted January 8, 2006 He's definitely not married as i spend days on end at his house! I don't think he is trying to hide from anyone or hide anyone from me, honestly, there are NO red flags - - He is always contactable when we're not together, and he's always at home. - He is not sneaky or shifty and doesn't hide things from me, he even leaves his phone bills laying on the table! - My stuff is all over his house, clothes, bathroom stuff etc, and it's always where i left it. - I've met all his friends and family and they all know me as his girlfriend. - He has never changed or cancelled a single date in our entire relationship. - If he goes out for a drink with his friends or work colleagues he always calls me from the bar just for a chat. There are simply no inconsistencies that would make even the most suspicious girl wonder if he was up to no good!
whichwayisup Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 Then trust him when he says he just wants to be with you undisturbed. If he isn't giving you anything to worry about, don't go looking for stuff that may not be there. It sounds like you guys have a good thing going, you've met his family, friends and he introduced you as his girlfriend!
Author Madeleine Posted January 8, 2006 Author Posted January 8, 2006 Oh i do trust him. I posted to see if other people also turned off their phones for nice reasons, and not because they were trying to hide something! I've never known anyone so attentive to me, so very much into me, even 14 months down the line, and i am curious to know if my boyfriend is "the norm" or exceptional.
Outcast Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 He sounds exceptional. He wants to be open and genuine with you. That's pretty rare. He also seems to trust you which is also rare. Sounds like you may have gotten yourself a prize!
Adunaphel Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 I always turn off my cell phone when I am with my SO (or on a date with anyone I'm interested in). Unless I'm waiting for an important call, in which case my cell phone will be in "silent mode". It's manners. If I lived on my own, I'd turn off my home phone too. If I'm at home with a friend (or a boyfriend!), the phone rings and I see it's a call for me, it is unlikely that I'll pick up the phone.
Author Madeleine Posted January 8, 2006 Author Posted January 8, 2006 He is an exceptionally well mannered guy, as are all of his friends and family. I think i've just never encountered someone so incredibly nice and polite as him before, I've certainly never dated anyone like him! I dated a guy once who even answered his phone while we were having sex!!
witabix Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 He is an exceptionally well mannered guy, as are all of his friends and family. I think i've just never encountered someone so incredibly nice and polite as him before, I've certainly never dated anyone like him! I dated a guy once who even answered his phone while we were having sex!! Sorry had to laugh at that one. He sounds like a good guy to me. I don't turn my phones off at all, except in lecture halls. My SO's don't either, sounds like an incredibly polite thing to do, as though he really does want to be alone with you with no interruptions. Perfect guts like this make me sick!!!
Author Madeleine Posted January 8, 2006 Author Posted January 8, 2006 Yeah, Mr Perfect Guts is a true English gentleman (I'm sure you meant to write "guys" there, but hey, "guts" works well!) As for the guy who answered his phone during sex, i'm not kidding! He had a chat with his mate and then got back to the job in question. It wasn't so funny at the time but now it cracks me up. Explains why he's an "ex".
helena abadi Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 sometimes my ex turned his phone off because he genuinely didn't want to be disturbed while he was with me, and other times (so i eventually found out) it was to evade calls from other women. as you were concerned enough to post a thread on this, why don't you ask him why he turns his phones off?
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 I turn my cell off...I don't want to be bothered when I'm with him. My boyfriend can't always do that because of his job, but he ignores the calls most of the time. One of my ex's would turn his off when we were together...and there was positively no cheating going on. I wouldn't worry about it. He sounds considerate. And that's a good thing.
Author Madeleine Posted January 9, 2006 Author Posted January 9, 2006 Helena, I didn't post out of concern, I posted simply to find out if other people also did the same thing, as I, personally, have never known a guy to turn his phones off. It seems, however, it is relatively common practice.
helena abadi Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 i agree, interesting replies. i'm so relieved to read that people turn them off as a consideration, not just because they have less than fabulous motives!
Yamaha Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 My ex would take her house phone off the hook when we were together. The first time she did this I asked her why and she said she didn't want our time together disturbed. I would believe him. He feels you are important enough to want your/his undivided attention.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Maybe he is being sincere .. I usually don't turn my off ,cause i have nothing to hide. Did he get defensive when you asked him about it?
JS17 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 My ex @ss would not shut off the phone ever. He was always on his cell phone and even answered it during really really inappropriate times while he was with me. Consider yourself lucky!
Art_Critic Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 I'd be leary about this.. If it's good manners then you may have run into the first person to ever to be that considerate..once or twice is good manners.. if he does it ALL the time then something is up.. Does he turn his phone off at other times ? ie: when he is with his parents ?
Yamaha Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 I'd be leary about this.. If it's good manners then you may have run into the first person to ever to be that considerate..once or twice is good manners.. if he does it ALL the time then something is up.. Does he turn his phone off at other times ? ie: when he is with his parents ? I agree. Art. If he does this all the time then something may be up. My ex wouldn't do it all the time. If we hadn't seen each other lately or had something really important to say she would but NOT all the time.
TheRock Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Out of respect, I always put the phone on vibrate or off when going on a date. I keep it tucked away just for an emergency. If it buzzes, I don't even flinch to answer it. I give my date my undivided attention. After a few months it's ok to answer it, but not till you really are exclusive. I think it is rude to even check your phone for calls when on a date.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Some people have a cell phone for the convenience of making outbound calls. There are only a couple of people I answer cell calls from...the rest go to my voicemail. So most of the time I leave it on vibrate. If you're in a new relationship you should limit your cell use when you're together. And if you're like me, and have a limited amount of time to spend with your sweetie, then the last thing you want to do is talk on the phone when you're together.
Author Madeleine Posted January 10, 2006 Author Posted January 10, 2006 In answer to your question, Art, his cell is usually turned off when he's in the company of anyone, be that me, his family or friends. As for his house phone, that's generally on silent when we're together, occasionally he will answer it if he hasn't turned it to silent although generally he lets the answer machine get it.
Art_Critic Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 In answer to your question, Art, his cell is usually turned off when he's in the company of anyone, be that me, his family or friends. As for his house phone, that's generally on silent when we're together, occasionally he will answer it if he hasn't turned it to silent although generally he lets the answer machine get it. Well there ya go.. you got a good one.. If he treats everyone the same then it is because he has really good manners
Author Madeleine Posted January 10, 2006 Author Posted January 10, 2006 Oh, i knew that already Art! It's refreshing to read that other people also do the same, also have the good manners to turn off their phones when in company. It's so irritating that one cannot go anywhere nowdays without hearing the constant ringing and beeping of cell phones. A train ride was once a peaceful journey where one could relax and enjoy the scenery, now it's like being forcibly made to listen to the whole world's personal problems in a fairground! Surely i'm not the only person who thinks cell phones are the worst invention ever. However did we cope before them?
helena abadi Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 well, most of the people i know are so much less than terribly polite because they don't turn their cell phones when i visit and my significant ex turned it off sometimes for consideration and sometimes to evade other women... there's a whole new era of cell phone etiquette looming i'm sure. it doesn't bother me generally when people answer their cells, what really annoys the hell out of me is when you're on the subway, or a bus and you're sitting next to someone carrying on a completely inane conservation on their cell, all the way to your stop.... you know the type of conversation i mean... ``hi, how are you, where are you, yeah, i'm on the train, i just got on, no it wasn't late, maybe 1 minute, yeah it's left the station now.....'' yada yada yada...
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