No Contact- had an accident

[SunshineRainSun24]

My story is embarrassingly long. I'm currently a little over 7 months NC from a lot of push pull, confusion, and heartbreak (still have that). I was the one who broke it off, and this time it's for good. This is the longest I've gone without reaching out. I'm married and so is he. I've already been full cycle with this relationship- it's not necessary to advise me on what I should do or shouldn't do because I've done it all. I have not and will not contact him. It's over, and I know it. However, I friggen called him on accident!!!!! I was moving his contact information in my phone, and for whatever stupid reason, my stupid finger hit the phone icon in the contact screen. I would have rather cut off my hand than voluntarily call him on a Sunday in the middle of the afternoon, so this was not an "accident" I wanted to happen because I want to resume contact. It took me a second to realize, panicked, and hung up after about 4 seconds. The number didn't register on my phone bill so I'm hoping it didn't even go through. I don't feel like I'm back at square one, but I do feel like if it did go through, he now thinks I'm trying to resume, and he has the upper hand. It's dumb, I know.

I've blocked him just in case. I know I'll go into a tailspin if he does contact me, and I don't need it. 

Has anyone ever done this stupid mistake, and how do you not allow it to affect you? 

[BaileyB]

This is maybe a stupid question but, why did you not delete his contact information from your phone?

[SunshineRainSun24]

It's not a stupid question; it's a great question. I group his email and phone number together. I can't block his email without adding him as a contact. We would correspond via email to phone most of the time, and sometimes phone to phone. 

I swear as I'm typing this, I feel silly. I'm realizing I haven't been fully serious in removing everything. I could be a little savvier about it, but I'm guilty of having long moments of lingering where I shouldn't. I've completely resolved in never returning to it ever again, but I do things like check his social media. I'm self-cutting, and I know I'm doing it. I had the worst week last week because I accidentally called him, and then he posts something that I feel was directed at me and was pretty mean. Or so I think. It's awful. I know it's an addiction, and I'm going to stop because it's not worth feeling so low about all these things I know I can avoid by being stronger.

The relationship went on too long, Bailey and it's the hardest thing ever to let go. But I will. 

[fadi20]

It sounds like you're in a really tough spot emotionally. Accidental calls can happen to anyone, and it doesn't mean you've set yourself back to square one. Blocking him was a smart move to protect yourself.

Many people have made similar mistakes, and one way to not let it affect you is by reminding yourself of your commitment to move forward. It was an unintentional mistake, and you took immediate steps to prevent any further contact. Focus on the positive steps you've taken to heal and strengthen yourself.

Engage in activities that bring you joy and peace, and surround yourself with supportive people. Remember, this doesn't define your progress. You've come a long way, and this little bump doesn't change that.

[SunshineRainSun24]

Thank you Fadi for your reply. You are right about remembering my progress. I'm actually really proud of myself, and I am truly committed to releasing myself of this. I appreciate your kind words. 

[IrinaM]

On 12/14/2024 at 1:55 PM, SunshineRainSun24 said:

but I do feel like if it did go through, he now thinks I'm trying to resume, and he has the upper hand.

Okay, so let's assess the damage. Best case, the call didn't even hit his phone, so nothing really happened. Worst-case scenario, see above. He saw that you called and is walking around all puffed up because he thinks you still want him. Meh. No big deal, right?  Embarrassing for you, sure. But it's okay. Just stay focused on taking the actions you need to daily in order to better your life. That's what matters most. Good luck!!!

[SunshineRainSun24]

Thank you, Irina. Yeah, that's how I feel- embarrassed. I never ever called him, like ever, even when we were on. That was not a form of communication, so I hope that cowardly chest of his doesn't stay puffed up too long. He's so ego driven though that I know this is the case, and he must think I'm some kind of idiot to think I would ever want to go back to that mess of a relationship. 

[Georgia46]

The best thing you can do for yourself is to remove his number from your phone.  
 

 

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Georgia46 said:

The best thing you can do for yourself is to remove his number from your phone.  
 

 

Right.  Don't just block.  Block and Delete.

[SunshineRainSun24]

45 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Right.  Don't just block.  Block and Delete.

As funny as it sounds, I didn't realize you could do that, and I just did. I have to hold myself fully accountable for the things I do and don't do, even its inadvertently, and perhaps deep down inside I was subconsciously trying not to get rid of his phone number. Perhaps seeing it in my contacts gave me "hit". Disgusting.