Should I make this into a Relationship?

[Gebidozo]

4 hours ago, seany25 said:

I won't however, be quite as ruthless and disrespectful as you suggested. I know you were probably just having a sarcastic pop at me, but the point is you can be honest but not brutally honest. So, I can tell her that my mind is still messed up about that last girl, but not that I think she's the hottest I've ever had. A sociopath might do that, but most of us wouldn't.

No, I wasn’t having a sarcastic pop at you, I was describing your attitude to women the way it appears to everyone who reads what you write here.

If you don’t want to honestly confess to your girlfriend that your main problem is objectification of women, fine, it’s your life. But you need to understand that you’re deceiving and deluding yourself when you call an advice to be honest with her “ruthless” and “disrespectful”.

Your mindset is what’s disrespectful here. It’s your entire attitude to women and love relationships that you need to work on. That’s what people have been telling you in this thread over and over again, but you choose to ignore the real problem and steer any conversation away from it.

[Gebidozo]

4 hours ago, seany25 said:

I know there are plenty more of us good guys out there.

Are you just trying to make yourself feel better by attempting to convince yourself that you’re a good guy? Or do you honestly fail to realize that good guys don’t view women as objects that you evaluate and collect?

No mature woman would consider a man with such an attitude a solid prospect for a relationship, let alone a “catch”. The fact that you can “score” with women says nothing about your alleged “goodness”. It’s just a reflection of a superficial attraction rather than a meaningful connection between two individuals, though you seem to be unaware of that.

A much worse scenario is that you intentionally mislead women - put up a façade, treat your love interests “like princesses”, and trick them into thinking that you’re a real “good guy”, i.e. a man who doesn’t grade his conquests on a scale of 1 to 100 and doesn’t equate quality with “drop-dead-gorgeousness”. I really hope that you’re only deluding yourself here.

[basil67]

5 hours ago, seany25 said:

I know there are plenty more of us good guys out there.

Kindly, a man who wants to "win" by getting an even hotter girlfriend is not a good guy.   Nor does a good guy objectify women like you do.

If you want to be a good guy, it's time to get that therapy which has been suggested before and learn how to see women as humans rather than conquests

[NuevoYorko]

@seany25 I assure you that you are really missing the boat here.   NOBODY who has real life experiences with love is going to agree with your ideas on it.   It doesn't matter - you do you - except for the fact that you are spending hours of your time engaging with others on this message board and either completely missing the point, or deliberately playing dumb with regards to the reactions and input that you're getting.  

You're no different than a gold digging person who is only interested in the biggest bank account that they can access, and also who perceives their own worth by this .  

[ShyViolet]

On 12/19/2024 at 4:26 PM, seany25 said:

Exactly  so maybe I do actually love this one since she's the most objectively attractive woman I've ever been with

It's wild that you would think you love someone because "they're the most objectively attractive woman you've ever been with."  I really don't think you know what love is.

[seany25]

Okay, so there has been a bit of a development. After my last posts yesterday my girl and I were talking on Facetime and in a nutshell, all was laid on the table. She demanded that I speak up and tell her what was on my mind. So, I said my head was still in turmoil over the last girl and I'm not completely over her, or over that experience.

It was definitely nice to get it off my chest and allow her to process the information. We had a long chat, and she still wants to see me. She actually told me she knew that my head was still in a bit of a mess from that experience (since she knew about it), and it seems she's somewhat okay with it. That's not to say she's being a pushover, she still gave me a hard time. Maybe she wants to try and "fix" me or whatever.

I'm going to visit her tomorrow and maybe stay the night with her. After our chat last night, she texted me that she loves me and that that won't change; all she wants is my time. She's happy to keep seeing me and I am genuinely happy to keep seeing her, she is really lovely. I was just thrown off the other day by how jealous I felt at seeing the other girl with a new man.

I'm sure some of you might still disagree with me seeing this woman even though she's okay with it. Would I be wrong to keep seeing her as two fully consenting adults, having now laid the cards on the table?

[basil67]

Does she know that you're still aiming higher than her looks wise?  I'm wondering if you showed her all your cards

Edited December 22, 2024 by basil67

[NuevoYorko]

I'm pretty  sure that when you get another chance at "drop dead gorgeous," you will quickly push aside this unfortunate "downgrade" and jump on the opportunity.   At least she's been forewarned.   Right?

[Gebidozo]

2 hours ago, seany25 said:

I'm sure some of you might still disagree with me seeing this woman even though she's okay with it. Would I be wrong to keep seeing her as two fully consenting adults, having now laid the cards on the table?

It wouldn’t if you had laid your cards on the table, but you didn’t. You merely admitted that you were still not over your ex. You didn’t tell her anything about the actual problem, which is your objectification of women and your materialistic, egocentric, and immature attitude to romance and love.

So now you’re intentionally misleading her. Sooner or later you’ll either dump her for a “higher rated” woman, or she’ll finally drop her rose-tinted glasses and see through you, at which point she will dump you.

Well, we can only hope that you’ll change your ways and find enlightenment before that occurs. Stranger things have happened, after all.

[seany25]

Or, I end up falling in love with her and realising I was a d!ck?

That's probably possible, too.

Edited December 22, 2024 by seany25

[ExpatInItaly]

I would urge you to stop seeing her. 

You know the truth and you didn't tell her the full, unvarnished truth. She is only happy to lkeep seeing you because she knows only part of the story here.

1 hour ago, seany25 said:

Or, I end up falling in love with her and realising I was a d!ck?

Not likely, no. 

Please, let her go. What you're doing is not right.