lifeasiknowit Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 Ok. So I know I can't be the only person in the world with this problem. But why should being boyfriendless be a problem? Is there something wrong with me if I've never had a boyfriend? I just don't get it. How do people get together? Maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm in university and am always super busy but most people lead busy lives and if that was the reason, almost everyone would be single. Does anyone else have this problem?
Weye Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 You're far from the only person in the world who has this problem. Lots of people are in the exact same situation. Lots of intelligent, attractive, socially competent people have this same problem. So many girls and boys who you'd expect to have long lines of suitors ready to date them at any minute come up empty-handed all too often. Don't feel like there's anything wrong with you at all for not having a boyfriend yet. Being busy could have something to do with it. If you're not doing meeting new people on a consistant basis, then its going to be difficult for the man of your dreams to find you, or vice-versa University is a busy time in a person's life, but most people do find some time for extra-curricular activities. People can get together in lots of ways. Attend some social events (parties, E.C. activities, etc..). Ask your girlfriends to introduce you to people. You could post an ad on a dating web site, you could go to a club that 'singles' typically attend, or you could just smile and say hi to the cute boy sitting at the table next to you at the coffee shop. Attend a fitness club (and dress in a nice tight-fitting warm up suit and pretend to not know how to use the equipment properly from time to time ). These are just a few suggestions. Do whichever you like. Just make sure to get out do it. If you want something to change, you have to make it happen
justagirl1121 Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Yeah, he's right. You're not hte only one. I actually got a little somewhere with my crush, and it was all him....but he doesn't want a relationship....he's not "emotionally" in that state of mind....plus he plans on moving across state....he said it happened, he was just going with the flow....but I can tell the whole night he was leading up to it....so.....it's like i finally get my chance and it still backfires!!! So....i felt the same way as you...like if your past 17 and dont have a bf then somethings wrong, but i think there are actually people in their mid 20s who've never dated, kinda like me. it makes me feel a little better. but not much!
Steph21 Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 I'm 21 and have gone out with guys, but there's never been anyone I would consider my "boyfriend" as in we're exclusively just seeing each other. I don't know if it's just the guys I've had experiences with or what, but it seems like everyone out there has committment issues. Or maybe I just attract those types, I do go for the more free-spirited independent ones. Anyway, your standards are probably pretty high. If you were to lower your standards and ask some guy out who seems like he doesn't get a lot of girls you could have a boyfriend pretty fast. That's comforting, I think, and some even do this just so they're not single (and sometimes actually end up liking those guys). Personally I like to be swept off my feet and am willing to wait around for that:)
malachai Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 i'm 28, and was in my first relationship only this year. i am a male, and i imagine the reasons may differ between men and women, but they probably vary more between individuals. i don't think at 21 that it is a huge deal though. is it a case where you have dated often and just haven't found anyone you are interested in being with long term? or have you not dated at all? it's hard to tell from the info you've given, but if you are dating, maybe you are expecting too much from the get go. it's ok to want to be swept off your feet, but a lot of guys, especially in college, don't run right into relationships. people are busy, like you, and when they aren't, they are out just trying to have fun and enjoy their off-time. if you meet someone you like, just try to have fun without expectations. if you click, things will just play out naturally.
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