RandallHare Posted December 1, 2024 Posted December 1, 2024 What do you do when you're sad? How do you channel these negative feelings into something positive?
Georgia46 Posted December 1, 2024 Posted December 1, 2024 What are you sad about? I have many things I’m sometimes sad about but I reckon feeling your feelings is the only way through… feel then you can start to heal.
basil67 Posted December 2, 2024 Posted December 2, 2024 Could it be that your sadness is appropriate for whatever is going on in your life?
HopefullyLove Posted December 2, 2024 Posted December 2, 2024 I try to focus on my desires. I like journaling.
Author RandallHare Posted December 2, 2024 Author Posted December 2, 2024 It just feels ironic how so many people compliment for my looks, which should be a big advantage, plus I'm academically and professionally successful, and I have all the traits of a good husband and father such as being responsible, non-violent, has good financial management skills, hardworking, and honest. Sometimes I feel like it just so happens I live in a small provincial city. Although I get hundreds of matches, there doesn't seem to be enough number of women I'm interested in. Sometimes I'm tempted to relocate to a bigger city but I'm too lazy to even start planning as I'm a bit of a comfort freak and I love the city where I'm living in. Another reason why I'm sad is my shoulder injury that just doesn't go away. I miss working out and the last I did this was in Mid-October.
basil67 Posted December 2, 2024 Posted December 2, 2024 (edited) Good looking, smart, successful, hardworking, honest and gets matches from hundreds of women, none of whom are good enough for you. Sounds like your dating problems stem from entitlement on your side Edited December 2, 2024 by basil67 1
MsJayne Posted December 2, 2024 Posted December 2, 2024 Do you think your ego might be running the show and that’s why you’re lonely? 1
Gebidozo Posted December 2, 2024 Posted December 2, 2024 2 hours ago, RandallHare said: Although I get hundreds of matches, there doesn't seem to be enough number of women I'm interested in. Maybe that’s because you believe you are too good for those women. A humbler attitude will help you connect with women better.
Author RandallHare Posted December 2, 2024 Author Posted December 2, 2024 3 hours ago, basil67 said: Good looking, smart, successful, hardworking, honest and gets matches from hundreds of women, none of whom are good enough for you. Sounds like your dating problems stem from entitlement on your side I'm just looking for someone with the same levels. Mum was also a big influence in my choices. I've been around intelligent attractive ladies because I went to competitive schools growing up. It's just that, I wanted someone who was funny back in those days. It was too late when I realized I missed those opportunities. I mean, you know, women explicitly asking me to be their boyfriend. And not just women but attractive and intelligent ladies. I'm dumb.
Author RandallHare Posted December 2, 2024 Author Posted December 2, 2024 55 minutes ago, MsJayne said: Do you think your ego might be running the show and that’s why you’re lonely? Not in the same way that I feel 'entitled.'
basil67 Posted December 2, 2024 Posted December 2, 2024 15 minutes ago, RandallHare said: I'm just looking for someone with the same levels. Mum was also a big influence in my choices. I've been around intelligent attractive ladies because I went to competitive schools growing up. It's just that, I wanted someone who was funny back in those days. It was too late when I realized I missed those opportunities. I mean, you know, women explicitly asking me to be their boyfriend. And not just women but attractive and intelligent ladies. I'm dumb. Sounds like you missed the boat. You may have to compromise a little on looks or smarts
Author RandallHare Posted December 2, 2024 Author Posted December 2, 2024 1 hour ago, basil67 said: Sounds like you missed the boat. You may have to compromise a little on looks or smarts Exactly.
Author RandallHare Posted December 2, 2024 Author Posted December 2, 2024 I was thinking, maybe I should ask people I know if they know anyone. Tinder seems to be too difficult to find good matches nowadays. There are very few quality women there and it's getting fewer and fewer as the years go by.
basil67 Posted December 2, 2024 Posted December 2, 2024 7 hours ago, RandallHare said: I was thinking, maybe I should ask people I know if they know anyone. Tinder seems to be too difficult to find good matches nowadays. There are very few quality women there and it's getting fewer and fewer as the years go by. You could....but given how choosy you are, they'd be foolish to get involved because you're likely going to reject all options for not being smart or beautiful enough. Finding flexibility in who you date is the answer
helloladies21 Posted January 1 Posted January 1 It's incredible how I hardly ever post on this forum and this is reason I came on here to post my story. We are essentially in the exact same situation. I'm educated, attractive, successful, get attention from plenty of women in my area, but have not been able to find what I'm looking for here. I'm 46 and have lived in the same sized smallish-medium sized city since I was 10. I stayed here for school and never moved away. I've built up a successful business in my state, although not nearby. I could live what most would consider a "good life" here for the rest of my days. But something has been pulling at me. This wouldn't be good enough. I'm meant for more. I can't tell you what to do, but I am going to tell you what I'm going to do. On 12/2/2024 at 2:33 AM, RandallHare said: Sometimes I'm tempted to relocate to a bigger city but I'm too lazy to even start planning as I'm a bit of a comfort freak and I love the city where I'm living in. I found an opportunity to essentially swap my business for an identical, but much larger one, in a city twice the size. I made a decision that I am going to do whatever it takes to make this happen. It will require moving to another city and starting a new life there. I am done being complacent. I have to disagree with the advice that you should settle. I've seen this happen with too many people, including my friends. If they are honest with themselves, they aren't fully happy. They haven't fully realized their potential. The only alternative is to take risks and try. Take smart risks, but push yourself. Otherwise you'll feel like you're living a mediocre life.
helloladies21 Posted January 1 Posted January 1 On 12/2/2024 at 7:42 AM, RandallHare said: I was thinking, maybe I should ask people I know if they know anyone. Tinder seems to be too difficult to find good matches nowadays. There are very few quality women there and it's getting fewer and fewer as the years go by. It sounds like you're making excuses. Maybe it's a self defense mechanism. You don't want to open yourself up for fear of getting hurt. Maybe you love the playboy lifestyle. Maybe you're just lazy. For me, the city I live in is famous for it's cuisine (Buffalo, NY). It's cold a lot of the year, so people stay inside and put on weight. I'm in shape. It's something I value. Too many women around here are not, so the few that are get overpursued by men. It's time for a change of venue.
Recommended Posts