Blackthrone Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 I have a girlfriend who seems to be mentally unstable. One minute she can be screaming at me, calling me names and putting me down in every way imaginable. The next minute she's back to her normal self, smiling and laughing. She's just so unpredictable. One moment she's planning our future, another she can get so angry and start telling me that I'm more or less the worst person on earth. She doesn't even seem to remember the outbursts she has. Recently things seem to have been getting worse. One evening a few days ago we were getting into an argument and she blew up at me horribly. In order to punish me she logged in to my e-mail account and deleted all my mail. She also sent some nasty mail to a friend of mine from my e-mail account. The funny thing about this is that she completely denies that this ever happened. In fact she had been creating a very far-fetched story about that she thought that someone had hacked into her computer, gotten hers and my e-mail passwords and then logged into my e-mail and deleted my mail. Conveniently enough shortly after we had a fight. I can't tell her that she's wrong, or accuse her of lying because that's going to result in another outburst. Because since I have no hard proof that it is in fact her who was doing this, she'll just deny it. She's also been hurling verbal abuse on her friends online, but when they confronted her about it she said that she wasn't online but someone must have hacked her msn account and used her account to chat with her friends. I'm a bit confused here now. She seems to not remember anything about blowing up and getting so extremely angry. In fact her voice changes, it's not only angry, it sounds like the voice of a different person. I just wonder if she's pretending to not remember anything to avoid taking responsibility for what she says and for her actions? Or does she have some real mental problem she should get professional help for?
Mistaken Identity Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 My friends and I are currently debating whether or not mentally ill people are responsible for their behavior. My husband has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and depression. He isn't violent in any way, but he won't keep a job. Everyone tells me he's just lazy. I don't know if it's that or his mental illness. But, I guess the result is what really matters, right? Maybe we shouldn't dwell on what or who is to blame, but whether or not we can tolerate the behavior? Just a thought...By the way, your girlfriend sounds dangerous.
whichwayisup Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 She could be bipolar or depressed. Or she's got some nasty mood swings and anger issues on her plate. Still, she is OUT OF LINE by treating you and her friends like crap. Trust me, this is a HUGE red flag. It won't get any better, it will get worse UNLESS she is willing to head to therapy. Maybe even be on some sort of medication. She even could have DID (multiple personality disorder) as she seems not to remember switching into nasty mode. Detach yourself from her and listen to your gut instinct. I don't know how long you've been dating her or if it's really serious, but you need to really think long and hard if you want this type of craziness in your life. Not a fun rollercoaster to be on or around.
Mary3 Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 She sounds Bi Polar and Skitzophrenic . I would tell her to get help and slowly move out of this nitemare. I had a best friend who was mentally ill ( I loved her alot and still care ) and I have to say in warning that you should watch yourself and your possessions for a little while after you end this relationship. She is not going to be very rational and may seek revenge. Just be careful .
Blackard Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 I have a girlfriend who seems to be mentally unstable. Either she has Torets Syndrom, or she is abusive...and you, are the victim in an abusive relationship. Clearly demonstrates the cycle of abuse, but its just hard for us guys to identify it when we are the victims because the media has us convinced that we can't be victims. Either way. Whether you belive it or not, RUN AWAY!
FireReady Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 I was talking to a friend of mine on Friday, and we were discussing some mental disorders (she works in the field) and she revealed to me that generally you only discover schitzophrenia in people in their 20s. But that it's so rare, most people have multiple personalities. Anyway, if she doesn't remember doing these things, I strongly suggest she seek a doctor to check her out. She may have some kind of imbalance/disorder. And I also had a friend whose older brother (at 31) was discovered to have a brain tumor the size of a golf ball, and it was discovered because his personality went from one end to the other extreme and he was behaving very uncharacteristic to himself. Good luck, and if she does have one of these disorders, or anything for the matter, I hope you'll be able to show her your support for her...
Blackthrone Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 We've been together for a few years. She's always been a bit moody, but nothing dramatic. She's become a lot worse over the past few weeks and this past week she's been completely going from one end to another within a very short timespan. The funny thing is just a couple of nights ago when we were talking she was sorta mentioning that she always feels as if there's someone with her. She tends to talk loudly to herself, and she revealed that she felt as though she was talking to someone, and that's why she was talking loudly. This made me wonder about if she in fact does have some kind of disorder and from time to time her other self comes out. The only problem is that her other self is completely the opposite of what she is herself. She is sweet, thoughful, funny and nice. Her other self is rude, angry, controlling and verbally abusive. I guess that there must have been something that has triggered this now, but I have no idea what this could be. I have to try to talk to her about this when she's in a good mood and see what's going on. I do love her a lot and I want to be there for her and support her if she is in fact ill. I just hope that she'll listen.
Outcast Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 She's become a lot worse over the past few weeks and this past week she's been completely going from one end to another within a very short timespan. Then RUSH her to a doctor!!! She could have either schizophrenia or a brain tumor - or any number of other things. Consider this a medical crisis. It is NOT normal for someone's personality to change that suddenly. Really, this is very serious. She tends to talk loudly to herself, and she revealed that she felt as though she was talking to someone, and that's why she was talking loudly. This made me wonder about if she in fact does have some kind of disorder and from time to time her other self comes out. The only problem is that her other self is completely the opposite of what she is herself. She is sweet, thoughful, funny and nice. Her other self is rude, angry, controlling and verbally abusive It is possible she has MPD. It's rare but it does exist. Don't 'talk to her' - she won't know or be able to tell you what's wrong. Just get her to medical aid fast.
whichwayisup Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 Yes, she needs a consult with a DR to be assessed. Something isn't right and you mentioning that she feels someone is with her and that is why she talks so loudly is a huge hint of something. Talk to her and her family too, please. This isn't a joke. And also, you need to decide at some point if you love this woman enough to stick with her. I'm not telling you to end it and run, but you have to know that if she has a disorder like the ones mentioned in the other post replies you have to be prepared to ride the rollercoaster forever. It's something you have to be made aware of. Anyway, take the first step, which is getting her to talk to her DR somehow.
Mistaken Identity Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 I agree with whichwayisup: Do you want to be subjected to this behavior indefinitely? As I said, my husband was diagnosed with schizophrenia. During his episode, he was paranoid about everyone and everything. He ate very little because his food was poisoned; etc. He didn't misbehave and then claim not to remember. It doesn't sound like your girlfriend has schizophrenia. Sounds like another disorder. Actually, it almost sounds like drug abuse. Or maybe a brain tumor, as mentioned. Don't wait to get her help. By the way, multiple personality disorder has never been proven to exist as an acutal neurolbiological disorder. I know a lot of people will take issue with that.
Mary3 Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 My best friend had Skitzophrenia and if you girlfriend has any of the following you might want to consult NAMI ( National Alliance of the Mentally Ill ) and they can guide her to get the right medications and help . She may also qualify for Social Security Disability if this disrupts her work life. ( My friend was able to get this , although denied and we appealed and she won ) Most of us know the SS denies most claims and they have to be appealed. My friend heard voices. She thought people were plotting against her. She would point to someone and say that he was telling her to do something. Her last scariest moment is when she pulled a shotgun out and pointed it at her husband ( Thankfully no-one was hurt ) When I went to visit her in the hospital she told me that there were people outside yelling for her to come out. I held her hands and looked her in the eyes and told her there was no-one yelling outside for her to come. She looked desperately into my eyes and said *help me*. We did eventually ( after 9 hospitalizations ) get her the correct medication. Sadly , she had times where she did not want to take the medicine and you could see the Paranoia coming back to the surface. The multiple personality that your girlfriend seems to exibit might be a rational idea. I dont have alot on MPD but if you research it , you might find how plausible and how real this disorder is....I know many have faked it in times of trouble with the law as an excuse for their behavior but if you check into it , maybe you can find out how prevalent it is and if your friend has this. Depression as well. If she is overwhelmed and saddened by all that is happening to her. She most definately needs help. I doubt she will seek it on her own. Family intervention and somone who cares later on to make sure she takes her medications. Good Luck .
JayKay Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 My guess is she has a chemical imbalance and needs medication. Her behavior sounds paranoid and irrational. If it is getting worse, get medical help ASAP.
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