Guest132 Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 So I broke up with my girlfriend of a year at the beginning of this past summer, I felt that things were falling slowly and after talking I thought things might change but they didn't seem too, so I broke up with her as too not end a good relationship on a bad note. Since then we've hung out and things seemed cool but after a couple of months we were at a party and both were drunk, she said that she wanted to make out and didn't want a relationship again, so I figured that was ok for that evening in my drunken state (I'm not one for FWB or anything like that, this is about as 'uncommitted' I have ever been with someone that I have ever made out with) well the next day she thought we were dating again so I got scared because I really didn't think about my feelings or hers that previous evening and so she obviously got upset and left really pissed off. The next couple of days she didn't talk to me and then we went out for a coffee, talked about it and she wasn't happy that I still didn't want a relationship but she seemed ok with hanging out still. So about 7 months after breaking up I tried dating a different girl, it seemed to be going well but then out of the blue she decided she didn't want to date anymore for no particular reason and the week after my former girlfriend from above and I were hanging out and we thought we might try casually dating each other again. The next day I went to the doctor and found out that I might have testicular cancer and then the girl who had just broken up with me wanted to try again and I really could not handle all this stress so I decided that no girl in my life would be best so I told the girl I told that I'd casually date that I really couldn't and I thought if I told her what I was feeling, that with the other girl still on my mind and this possible cancer that I really could not deal with a relationship. She was understanding but said that she didn't want me to talk to her until she figured out her feelings about me. So now that I've told the basis of my story (ps. it turned out to be a small tumour that was easily removed, hurray for no cancer!) I really feel bad about kind of leading my first ex on (at least that's what it feels like I did) and I want her to know that I feel bad about that but I don't want to say or do something that will make her upset or pissed off at me at the same time I don't want her to take my apology as an attempt to get back together with her because at this point I don't think that would go over well with her. Any advice on this would be great, even if it is don't do anything, I have no idea how to handle this. Thanks for your help.
bluechocolate Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Are you sure that your good intentions to apologise aren't just you trying to appease some guilt, rather than what is best for her? She was understanding but said that she didn't want me to talk to her until she figured out her feelings about me. There's your answer. She doesn't want you to talk to her - so don't.
chocolate_boy Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 That's why you can't be friends with ex's straight away, come back to her in a year and offer friendship, maybe you can be then. Until then stay away.
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