lilmoma1973 Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 I was telling someone about the loveshack forum ,and how i enjoyed talking and getting opinions about relationship issues ,as well as giving advice to others .. I was told forums like this can do more harm to a relationship or marriage ,and for me to stay out of them!! I don't agree with that person ,and think that you can read it and take it into consideration ,but it doesn't mean you do all what advice has been given !! I think it just helps to get a third point of view besides what you think or spouse /so and puts into better perspective!!! What do you think on this point that was brought up to me ? If anything loveshack has helped me cope with my frustrations and resentments!!! Opinions please ,just curious what you all think....
Roo-bie2 Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Well you you fail to think for yourself then yes they can be a problem. Many times people will go to a board that will hold their views. Many won't ask what is your roll in the situation you are in. Making the other person out to be the bad guy. When in reality if the marrage is bad both parties are ussually at fault.
bab Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 I can see this as a possibility. When someone posts we are only getting one side of the story. But even more drastically so than if they were talking to one of their friends. We don't know the poster's personality, when they tend to exaggerate or complain. We also don't know the personality of the "accused". When someone is writing something it is only natural to make themselves look as good as they can. When you are speaking with someone, it's easier to weed through this then it is in text. So, alot of times advice is geared in this way. As long as you take the advice with a grain of salt, or ask general questions, I don't think it will cause a problem. But remember that we don't know the person or relationship in question and you have to make the final call.
Walk Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 I've tried talking to my friends about problems but I find they're too biased usually. If it's a guy friend, he'll automatically say dump the person. Which makes me think he doesn't care what the problem is, as long as I'm back on the market. My female friends.. the two I have.. One hates the bf, the other doesn't know him at all. This is the only place I've gotten unbiased opinons. Where I know the guys aren't saying something just to get me. And the women aren't either being catty, or too preoccupied with their own problems.
alphamale Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 .. I was told forums like this can do more harm to a relationship or marriage ,and for me to stay out of them!! I don't agree with that person ,and think that you can read it and take it into consideration ,but it doesn't mean you do all what advice has been given !! I think it just helps to get a third point of view besides what you think or spouse /so and puts into better perspective!!! Forums are just like getting advice and opinions from books or your relatives or from friends or CNN. You take it with a grain of salt and make decisions based upon numerous sources or opinions. LS and forums like it do do one very impt thing....they show us all that everyone has problems and many people have the same exact problems that we do.
Adunaphel Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 I believe it possible that hanging around in forums such as loveshack can damage your relationship, but I don't think it has anything to do with the advice one might receive. I think that, if you have self-esteem issues, or if you are an easily influenceable person to begin with, one of the following could happen to you: - you read a number threads that describe situations that could relate to yours, you feel sympathy for the poster, you put yourself in her shoes, you get mad at whomever hurt the poster's feelings, you redirect part of that anger to your partner (without realizing it). - you ask for advice about a problem you have in your relationship, you get replies you don't like, possibly you also get replies that you perceive as rude or offensive, you get mad, you redirect-again-the anger at your partner. - you read so many threads about unhappy relationships that you get the idea that your relationship, too, is doomed to fail, since most men/women are a******s/s***s. :bunny: All of this happened to me, that is why I left loveshack for a while.
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