Outcast Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Example...Alphamale. Hinting and saying various little digs about him, which isn't true. WWIU, just because you're a rabid fan of Alpha doesn't mean you should be scolding Smooch for what he says about him. I happen to agree with Smooch's assessment of Alpha.
loony Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Loony and WWIU YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. So quit beating up on Smooch. Essentially (Smooch, forgive the intrusion but I get both sides here), you are telling a legless man 'just walk, damnit'. HE CANNOT!!!! The problem is that the very things you're telling him to do are THE THINGS HE CANNOT DO. Which is why he needs a hand and not your constant meanness. Neither of you have made helpful remarks because you don't understand thing one about what it's like to be him. Nor will you even try. Imagine people telling jokes and you not knowing why they're funny when everybody else is laughing. Imagine saying something you think is quite reasonable and normal and finding everybody getting mad at you. He's a Martian here and all you people keep telling him is 'quit being a Martian and be an earther'. THAT DOESN'T HELP!!!!!!! And beating him up because he doesn't understand all these subtle nuances doesn't help either. :mad: :mad: Then tell him to get off my back and stop commenting on my posts if he doesn't get them. If I knew I had a disorder that makes it difficult for me to relate to other people, I would shut up and not give advice to other people about their relationships or on how to interact with them. Not understanding people is one thing, blaming them when you have trouble understanding them is something completely different.
Outcast Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 You're the one who's been commenting on his posts. I saw one exchange where he commented on yours but overall, it's been you chasing him around, loony. And then me chasing you around telling you to quit chasing him around
whichwayisup Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 WWIU, just because you're a rabid fan of Alpha doesn't mean you should be scolding Smooch for what he says about him. I happen to agree with Smooch's assessment of Alpha. If you'd like to discuss this whole thing further, then feel free to PM me. Again, I was not scolding SF. If you felt that I was, you're wrong. Stop assuming please. I'm not getting into the Alpha thing, you have your thoughts and I have mine, let's leave it at that, k.
SmoochieFace Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 You're the one who's been commenting on his posts. I saw one exchange where he commented on yours but overall, it's been you chasing him around, loony. And then me chasing you around telling you to quit chasing him around ... Sounds like typical behaviour in my warren... all this chasing around!
Lil Honey Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Loony and WWIU YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. So quit beating up on Smooch. Essentially (Smooch, forgive the intrusion but I get both sides here), you are telling a legless man 'just walk, damnit'. HE CANNOT!!!! The problem is that the very things you're telling him to do are THE THINGS HE CANNOT DO . . THANK YOU. On page 11 (I think) Looney said something to the affect that since SF knows he has this disorder he shouldn't get upset with others. Well, I don't have Asperger's but I understand SOME of it to work this way: What an Aspie has happen to them, they retain for future use, just as all of us do. BUT, that information is not flexible in their head like it is for us. We can bend it and manipulate it so that a VARIATION will fit another situation. They can't. They can only rely on the original information, unchanged, whether it's right for that new situation or not. Further, they can't just "reprogram" the "bad" experiences. They have to replace it by having MORE good experiences. Which would be difficult, to say the least, if one is relying on inflexible info that makes a potentially good experience go wrong simply because the info isn't fitting.
Outcast Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Sounds like typical behaviour in my warren... all this chasing around! Yeah, but none of the 'thumping'
Lil Honey Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 I'm not sure how that happened. There were like 14 pages a couple minutes ago. Now my post is on page 6. Huh? ? ?? Let's not confuse the old lady, k?
SmoochieFace Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 BUT, that information is not flexible in their head like it is for us. We can bend it and manipulate it so that a VARIATION will fit another situation. They can't. They can only rely on the original information, unchanged, whether it's right for that new situation or not. EXACTLY! This is why past experiences have such power over us. They colour the present so strongly that, even though we don't WANT to think negatively about new situations, the past experiences override that want. Further, they can't just "reprogram" the "bad" experiences. They have to replace it by having MORE good experiences. Which would be difficult, to say the least, if one is relying on inflexible info that makes a potentially good experience go wrong simply because the info isn't fitting. Hence the seemingly neverending spiral downwards... and it gets worse the older one gets.
SmoochieFace Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Yeah, but none of the 'thumping' ... Mounting is more fun though.
Lil Honey Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Did someone say, "Thumping?" I'm a fan of thumping. LOL
Mz. Pixie Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 And there we have it. EXACTLY what the information on narcissistic personality disorder said. Let me quote: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/narcissistic-personality-disorder/DS00652/DSECTION=6 And again: Blaming others 'frustrating you' for your problems. There you go again - inventing fantasies to justify your attitude towards him. Yep. Classic, classic, textbook. I wish I could convey to you how much trouble you're in because this line of thinking verges on paranoia, which is even more troublesome than just a disorder. You have no reason to mistrust him. This is really very irrational. I won't discuss SF or his disorder for that matter because I know very little about it. However, narcassistic personality disorders I could write a book on. My mother suffered from one. Fun, it's obvious that you have no empathy or it's only imagined in your mind, which is a symptom of NPD. His brother died and suddenly it's still all about you! This is textbook. When I got married? All about my mother. When I had my son, all about her- when my best friend died- all about how it affected her. See a pattern here? I almost spewed my drink all over the screen sitting here reading about how you like to go to the opera and blah blah. You think you're better than anyone with a blue collar job and that's obvious. There are many blue collar people who make a decent living and who are not motivated by money. I'd much rather be with someone who just got by and loved what they did that someone who was consumed with their jobs and how much money they made. I have a white collar job myself but I know plenty of blue collar people who are good decent and honest. If I used the tactic that people with money are better than me and that I'm somehow less deserving I would have never gotten anywhere. As a matter of fact, my husband's family is wealthy and he is interested in some things that I have not been involved in, but does that stop him from loving me??? No! I'm like a breath of fresh air for him because many people in his past were just with him for what they could get from him. To be point blank and honest with you Fun- you need to GET OVER YOURSELF. You need some desperate in depth therapy. Outcast was right on with her post! 1
mel777 Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Maybe you all are so rational when you are so in love you don't act straight. Maybe you are all not as emotional and sensitive like me, to the point I"m traumatized from calling and answering phones because of one bad experience many years ago and so now I need so much reassurance to be on the phone. If I was so full of my self I don't think I would be that insecure and scared but I am not here to try to prove my character, you all are doing a good job having fun attacking it. Over and out for me here. Oh dear lord...in love after five dates? Honey, that's called lust and please do not call the mailman, work on yourself and realize that five dates is about enough time to decide if you like them enough to sleep in the wet spot ;-).
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