witabix Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Thats it. I have had enough of this crap. If any one reading this thread has read my previous thread...... She lied, man she lied!!!! She was in contact, she sent a message to him. I was more important, what a load of crap, what a total load of crap. She would not contact him. She did yesterday. I had no idea. I am so lost and so upset. She started the convo in a way that I knew something was up. She lied, oh my God she lied. I am so hurt and lost here, man so lost, so lost. Why did she lie. Oh man. so lost. Why can't I understand. I am dying inside. Oh my God help me.
Art_Critic Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 No wise advice.. I feel your pain.. and wish you calm clear thoughts the next few days
Author witabix Posted January 7, 2006 Author Posted January 7, 2006 Appreciated AC. Feel like dying, metaphorically, so much pain.
Walk Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Wait.. wait... She contacted him yesterday... email? Call? text message? What'd she tell him? If she only contactd him to say why she wasn't contacting him anymore, cut her some slack. If they've been friends for as long as you say, she would've felt a lot of guilt and responsibility for not explaining to him that she was ending contact. Not that she doesn't love you. Not that you aren't the most important person in the world to her. Why did she say she contacted him? And what did she say to him? And how'd you find out?
johan Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 I think I know the feeling. But to be sure, I was trying to find the other thread you mentioned. Not sure what the real issue is.
Author witabix Posted January 7, 2006 Author Posted January 7, 2006 Wait.. wait... She contacted him yesterday... email? Call? text message? What'd she tell him? If she only contactd him to say why she wasn't contacting him anymore, cut her some slack. If they've been friends for as long as you say, she would've felt a lot of guilt and responsibility for not explaining to him that she was ending contact. Not that she doesn't love you. Not that you aren't the most important person in the world to her. Why did she say she contacted him? And what did she say to him? And how'd you find out? Walk, I will try to explain. But I can't. I really can't. She started the convo with "I don't want us to argue" I kinda knew what she was going on about. Then the bomb dropped. I really cannot expalin any further. I can hardly see the keyboard. She even attacked me. I am bleeding from a wound on my thumb. She called me an alchoholic. Ok now I am calmer....... She said happy new year to him. No big deal. But she had also said that there would be no contact, and that I the reason there would be no contact was because I was more important. She also said that I would be informed of any contact. This is so painful. I have never felt his kind of pain. Then tonight she told me, she waited till she was away from me to contact him. This all so stupid I know. I am a grown man. Not some teenager, but with all the lies and obfuscation. I hope some one understands. Maybe I can be clearer later on. But I don't feel like I can come back here again, ever. So lost.......................
dnm1010 Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 i dont know the story but i just wanted to tell you im sorry ure in pain. lies always hurt no matter what theyre about.
Author witabix Posted January 7, 2006 Author Posted January 7, 2006 Going now. Total kudos to all at loveshack. May return. But not sure. Love to you all.
Walk Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Hang in there Witabix. I know this won't help right now but honest, keep breathing.. it passes. It feels like hell, but there is another side. You just hang on til you make it there. Take care of yourself. The worst hour of your life, is only 60 minutes long.
Dumbass Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 DUDE Yahoo messenger: starakurva AIM: SuperGuiri2003 MSN: [email protected] GET IN TOUCH WITH ME NOW. A hug to you, mate. Please get in touch before you make any other decisions.
Sevenmack Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 First, hope things get better for you. Situations like this always hurt, especially when the one to whom you've given your heart treats it shabbily. The pain will eventually ease, but there are no words of comfort anyone, especially I, can write that will any more soothing than time. Which leads to the second point: Having read the last post, all I can say is that if a woman won't introduce you to one of her male 'friends,' even after a year of dating, it is a sign that he's a serious f--k buddy and she has no intentions of ending the arrangement. You deserve a real relationship and nothing else. She deserves a kick to the curb and little else. Perhaps she'll then grow up and behave like the grown woman she should have been in the first place instead of the, umm, unladylike jerk she is. No matter the case, you'll soon be better off without her. You're in my prayers.
Author witabix Posted January 7, 2006 Author Posted January 7, 2006 To Dumbass and Walk. I really appreciate your thoughts, there is no one else thinking of me right now. But that is cool. I have walked this life so far on my own. I give a you a cast iron guarentee that I will not do anything stupid. You are good people, it is perhaps a shame that we are seperated by this digital highway. I really feel the need to break down and cry on someones shoulder. This is something I know about, and something I have never had. I face this alone. But in some way I also know that I face this with your support, I am not a bad man, I hope and think you all know this. I am no alchoholic, no one has ever suggested that before, I am not a bad person. I am bleeding form every part of my psyche, because I trusted some one. This does not mean that anyone reading this should not trust people. I am so tired of giving myself to no avail. I am so tired of being me. I am so tired. I am so so so so tired. But I will rise one day in the future and be myself again. I have something to offer this world, I know that. At this time I wish I had something to offer you all, but right now I have nothing. Nothing. I am at the end of time, the dancer at the end of time, devoid of humour, and good sense. This is a world of pain, I wish I could ease it. I will not do anything silly, in that you can trust. I will survive. Survive.
Author witabix Posted January 7, 2006 Author Posted January 7, 2006 First, hope things get better for you. Situations like this always hurt, especially when the one to whom you've given your heart treats it shabbily. The pain will eventually ease, but there are no words of comfort anyone, especially I, can write that will any more soothing than time. Which leads to the second point: Having read the last post, all I can say is that if a woman won't introduce you to one of her male 'friends,' even after a year of dating, it is a sign that he's a serious f--k buddy and she has no intentions of ending the arrangement. You deserve a real relationship and nothing else. She deserves a kick to the curb and little else. Perhaps she'll then grow up and behave like the grown woman she should have been in the first place instead of the, umm, unladylike jerk she is. No matter the case, you'll soon be better off without her. You're in my prayers. Thank you SevenMack
clandestinidad Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 I wrote a post in your other thread, but wanted to say this too... I hope that you can feel all of us with you and around you. You are NOT alone. We're next to, on top of, below, and behind you......we are all here......for you
Walk Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Witabix... You're a good man. I wish I could help shoulder your pain. I know it's hard. I, and the rest of LS'ers, care for you. And respect you. Sleep would be best for you.. but unfortunately that seems most elusive when we need it most. We're here for you, as one big tissue covered shoulder if you need it!!
johan Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 I wrote a post in your other thread, but wanted to say this too... I hope that you can feel all of us with you and around you. You are NOT alone. We're next to, on top of, below, and behind you......we are all here......for you Actually, I won't be on top of or behind you. But otherwise everything kat said goes for me as well.
Author witabix Posted January 7, 2006 Author Posted January 7, 2006 Made me smile Johan, totally cool man. No sleep for me tonight Walk. And to all the others I may be leaving out, thank you all so much. I will get through this. On that you can be assured. It is nice how this works. My eyes are dry now, if a little stingy. My left hand is caked in blood, and a little sore. She has been texting me. I will not give in. I made it clear, the rules, and she agreed. But she did not follow the rules. I cannot go back and disrespect MYSELF. Help me to be strong people, thats what I need right now. 1
clandestinidad Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 I think it would be best to turn off your phone, and any other way you have of hearing from her asap. remove or block her from computer IM's too
Walk Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 SHUT the phone OFF. Take the landline off the hook. Lock your door. You didn't say your hand was caked in blood!!!!!!! My God! Has it stopped bleeding? She's psycho.. friggin' mutilating your hand.
clandestinidad Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 I agree w/ walk....lock all doors and windows and turn the lights off. Is your car in a safe place...like a garage?? (so she doesnt damage it in her fury) She might act very irrationally tonight....best to protect yourself!! What'd she do to you, btw??
lilmoma1973 Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 I wrote a post in your other thread, but wanted to say this too... I hope that you can feel all of us with you and around you. You are NOT alone. We're next to, on top of, below, and behind you......we are all here......for you What Kat23 said is true we are here for you in time of need ... I am sorry for your pain and we have all been there .."That which does not kill us makes us stronger",take this into consideration !!!!
lilmoma1973 Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 I agree w/ walk....lock all doors and windows and turn the lights off. Is your car in a safe place...like a garage?? (so she doesnt damage it in her fury) She might act very irrationally tonight....best to protect yourself!! What'd she do to you, btw?? Sounds like a fatal attraction to me !!! get a restraining order!!! Gave you a rep point Wita ,you deserve it.....
Author witabix Posted January 7, 2006 Author Posted January 7, 2006 She is dead to me now Kat. I give myself completely, and I remove myself completely. I do not trust without reason. And in retrospect she never gave me any reason to trust her. I will not fall again. I supported her completely. She had not had enjoyed sex for many years. She thanked me for helping her to enjoy sex again for the first time ever. I helped her with her work. I was there for her when her brother resumed his alchoholic behavior. I spoke to and listened to her father who suffers from a form of OCD. I was there for her all time. She did respond, she helped to reconnect me with my children. She could not/would not respect her own promises on her contact with her male friend. She promised, she told me I was more important than him one day, and the next she was in contact with him. I cannot see what I could have done differently. She physically attacked me. I am a 6' 3" 225lbs ex heavyweight boxer and martial artist, I could not defend myself against her. I had no idea what to do. I cannot defend myself against a 5' 4" 120lbs woman!! Either physically or emotionally. Had she been a 6'7" 300lbs man I would have had no problems at all. I pride myself on being a gentle-man who can defend himself in all circumstances in all situations, and defend and protect all in my company. I feel so weak. I have never had this feeling. Everyone comes to me for protection, emotional and physical. I am not a bully or a chauvanist. I would die before dishonour. I would give my life for her and she knew it, I had made men apologise to her when she had felt a sleight against her. I am a good man. This is another thing I know.
Sevenmack Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 You're welcome. Just read the part about her attacking you. Plainly and simply this is one lying, cheating, crazy b---h. As others have said, I'd cut off all contact and plan on obtaining a restraining order, not because it will do anything, but it will protect you when she inevitably pulls some 'he tried to attack me' stuff. At this point, protecting yourself, including your heart, is paramount. As you said, you will survive. All the best.
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