My Heart And Brain Is On Fire!!!!!! Should I Keep Hope In The Long Run??? =(

[fallenheart45]

...................................I don't know where to start, so here it goes. Well my girl of almost 2 years broke up with

 

me about 2 months ago. I have not seen her since Oct 28th!

 

Here is what happend to start making it sour. About 7 of my friends and my girlfriend along with there girlfriends were down

 

town in chicago at cherry red (the clubs name) for a halloween party! My girlfriend lives in chicago and I live 2 hours south

 

from her, because I am still in college. Any way, I only got to see her on the weekends, So when we all get down town

 

everything is fine! I act my normal self and we are happy. But when we get to the club, The girls stick together and dance

 

while the guys just chill out and talk all night! Every once in a while we would all come together and such, well it my

 

girlfriend started to get realllly drunk and started to yell at me for not paying attention to her. I say, "Babe, I am too

 

paying attention, I am not ignoring you, you are with your girls, I am with my guys, why are you attacking me?"

 

Any way the night went on, and she was always with her friends while I was always with my guy friends, so we all sit down and

 

a friend of mine lights a cigeratte with a candle and right when she goes to light her cigeratte, the candle goes out! So I

 

start BUSTING up laughing and my girlfriend turns to me and says "Thats the most you have laughed the whole 2 years we have

 

been together" I was like OMG!!!! I said, "Are you kidding me? do you want to start a fight?" Then she started in the whole

 

thing about me ignoring her...when I wasn't ...we were both with our "groups" the whole night! Anyway I am arguing saying

 

"Everything I do for you is not enough, you keep asking for more...I give you more...you keep asking for more...I give you

 

more...and you still ask for more...and I still give you more!, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? ALL YOU DO IS BITCH!"

 

I was pointing my finger in her face and she said "will you stop cusing at me" I said "well your yelling at me for things I

 

don't do"..then she pulls my hand down...i try to pull away and break her resistant and she ends up hitting me SOO HARD

 

across the face!....that pretty much ended the night...I didn't talk to her for a week.

 

 

Well that is my short story that started to go sour. Since then we got back together in the early of Novemeber to work it

 

out, then OUT OF THE BLUE she says this just isn't working...I'M LIKE WTF! I am willing to work on it after you have hurt me

 

so much...now you dont' want to be with me??

 

So I have been tring to get her back a little since then. Turns out after how much she said she was in love with me and could

 

see us getting married. She is already has a new boyfriend.

 

This guy is a pilot who lives in NEW YORK and she lives in Chicago. WTF!!!! She has always been so excited about planes,

 

maybe this pilot just made her come to him...I DON'T KNOW!!!!

 

So I haven't talken to her since x-mas eve and she was the one who contacted me....

 

 

Is she on the rebound...or what? She met a pilot in a bar from my home town who lives in new york!!!

I just dont' get it....I dont' want to give up hope!

 

 

I didn't do nothign wrong....I can't stop thinking about her..I dont' tell her how I feel any more...she already knows!

I just can't believe this is the end....

 

She always says us breaking up so many times it wasn't working....but how can she date SOO FAST LIKE THAT, right after she

 

said "I DON'T WANT TO DATE ANYONE IN A LONG TIME!"

 

=( pLEASE HELP ME!

 

~fallenheart

[fallenheart45]

RioBikini....

 

I am also (confused45) I am really looking for your type of opinoin

 

~fallenheart/confused45

[mc5]

Hey man I would just say, keep giving her, her space, and in the meantime, MOVE ON! DON'T WAIT FOR HER! Because if she doesn't come back, you will be really hurt! You go out have fun with your friends, do stuff that you couldn't do when you where with her. I know how you feel, I just lost my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years 3 weeks ago, and she was with someone else 3 DAYS AFTER! I am trying my hardest to get over it! if you want you can read in my old threads my story, you should do that, you'll see what I'm going through. But I would tell you, to not wait for her, if she comes back, then she comes back, then it is up to you if you want to take her back then, and by then whenever it is, you might not want her back. But that is up to you.

[riobikini]

fallenheart45,

 

She's not "on the rebound", -man, she was ALREADY gone from the time you met her!

 

And as much as you may be hurting over it, let her climb on whatever it is (plane, pilot, or broom!), -and let her fly right on out of your life!

 

I really mean that.

 

One of the screaming flashing lights that concerns me here, is the violence thing.

 

It may only look like a small, insignificant incident to some, but I think that kind of behaviour could (given some of the overtones in what you posted), become a more frequent occurrence between you two.

 

And violence in a relationship is not only ugly and dangerous, it shows that there are coping methods missing that should have been developed by now.

 

Good reason to back away from each other permanently.

 

Some women who find they can strike in violence towards their partner to vent during emotional fights often repeat the behavior and it worsens and escalates to more dangerous acts.

 

Having this happen will challenge your pride and trample your male ego and eventually make you feel like sh*t.

 

Public displays of that are too hard for a man to deal with.

 

You don't need that crap.

 

Meanwhile, you might want to take a look at what makes YOU react to some of her behavior and look for ways to deal with it, -not just the physical reaction (you did well there!), but ask yourself as an exercise what other ways you might deal with it from both an emotional and a physical aspect, if it ever happens in the future with anyone, -emphasis on females.

 

This may have not been the answer you were looking for, but I don't apologize in giving it.

 

Keep posting your progress, failures, successes, and thoughts.

 

NOTE: I was keenly aware of the fact you did not hit her back.

 

And I am proud of you.

 

You are a man.

 

(Smile)

 

Hugs.

 

Take care.

 

-Rio

[fallenheart45]

Rio,

 

 

Thanks alot for your comments!!!

 

I look back and I think, "man, she must be easy. She mets a guy who lives in new york, and she lives in chicago, and yet he flys to her place so he can stay the weekend with her?!?!"

 

It just bugs the hell out of me!!!!!

 

I'm sorry..but you just dont' fall out of love THAT FAST, you just don't! Ex, when she said she missed me when she decided to break it off.

 

Just dumb and I"m sooooo confused!