sarah elizabeth Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 hi everyone, i just stumbled on this webpage. my story is complicated kinda. i started working about a year ago at my latest job. i met a man, and from the first time i layed my eyes on him, i felt like i knew him for a lifetime. we laugh and love each other very much. i have never had a sexual relationship with him, but i ofter wonder. he tells me he never felt love until he met me. he thought he loved his wife, and he says he does, but not in the way he loves me. he has one kid with her. he makes me feel more like a beautiful woman than any other person before him. i will get wrinkle lines faster with him cause i smile so much. we both struggle with our emotions and it kills me everyday to wonder what to do. i know his wife is his problems and i shouldn't be dragged into it. however he deserves better. we often talk about how good life would be if we could be together but we know its impossible right now. i don't know if it will ever be possible, and it kills me. i close my eyes and see walking down the aisle and seeing his beautiful eyes looking at me. i know he would appreciate me and i him, but what do i do? God help me. Sarah
erika2610 Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 hi everyone, i just stumbled on this webpage. my story is complicated kinda. i started working about a year ago at my latest job. i met a man, and from the first time i layed my eyes on him, i felt like i knew him for a lifetime. we laugh and love each other very much. i have never had a sexual relationship with him, but i ofter wonder. he tells me he never felt love until he met me. he thought he loved his wife, and he says he does, but not in the way he loves me. he has one kid with her. he makes me feel more like a beautiful woman than any other person before him. i will get wrinkle lines faster with him cause i smile so much. we both struggle with our emotions and it kills me everyday to wonder what to do. i know his wife is his problems and i shouldn't be dragged into it. however he deserves better. we often talk about how good life would be if we could be together but we know its impossible right now. i don't know if it will ever be possible, and it kills me. i close my eyes and see walking down the aisle and seeing his beautiful eyes looking at me. i know he would appreciate me and i him, but what do i do? God help me. Sarah What should you do? Stay away. Trust me. My MM pursued me for a year, and then we were together for a little over a year after that. Seems that most MM have the same stories. I heard it all. 'I'm so unhappy, you make me happier than I've ever been, we're basically just roommates, we're just together for the kids'. It was nothing but crap. And that's how I felt when it was all over, like crap. I realized I was basically used for a year. True, when we were together, he made me feel more special than anybody ever had. But I did much more for him than he ever did for me. And when push came to shove, and I was at a really low point.. he was nowhere. Basically spat in my face. You deserve better. Holidays & birthdays, you'll be alone. valentine's Day.. probably alone. You can't call him whenever you want to, you can't just drop by. When you're sick, he probably won't be there. You deserve somebody who'll be there when you're sick, sad, or just feel like seeing him. Somebody who will love you and only you.
newbby Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 if he really loves you he will do all he can to be with you in a real and exclusive relationship. dont settle for less. actions speak louder.. its easy enough to get divorced, kids or not.
cherrie498 Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 I agree with the other post. You said that you cant be together now, WHY NOT????....because he has a W & a life with her that he is not willing to give up for you, that simple! Of course you love him & he does this that & the other for you....but that isnt enough think about everything he isnt doing for you! He 9 times out of 10 will twist & turn his reasoning of not leaving, making him out to be the father of the year.....if thats the case that the C means so much that he is going to stay in such a "unhappy" M then why CHEAT the C, as well as YOU, the W & himself. If you can walk away now, WALK!!!
travellingman Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 we often talk about how good life would be if we could be together but we know its impossible right now. i don't know if it will ever be possible, and it kills me. From an MM perspective, it is so hard when you find someone who offers so many things - brains, companionship, common interests - that your wife simply can't, regardless of things she tries to improve on. But it shouldn't be impossible for him to leave his wife. One of the hardest things about staying in a joyless marriage is thinking about spending the rest of your life with someone who just can't fulfill your needs, knowing all along there is someone who can. So whatever you do, don't accept his lame excuses, because if things between you are that good, you should have a future. If you honestly don't think that's possible, then you really need to move on.
damwinston Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 I agree with the other post. You said that you cant be together now, WHY NOT????....because he has a W & a life with her that he is not willing to give up for you, that simple! Of course you love him & he does this that & the other for you....but that isnt enough think about everything he isnt doing for you! He 9 times out of 10 will twist & turn his reasoning of not leaving, making him out to be the father of the year.....if thats the case that the C means so much that he is going to stay in such a "unhappy" M then why CHEAT the C, as well as YOU, the W & himself. If you can walk away now, WALK!!! RUN, don't walk. dammy
BUTAFLY Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 i'll be damned if I went through the pain ( and still going through it) for nothing ...one good thing to come out of it is to help others and speak on it. DO NOT DO IT!!!! My MM works with me too and that makes it much worse. When the A/R ends, which it will, you will have to go through the sorrow and heartache in front of coworks and everytime you see him it will be like pouring salt on a wound that never heals.
veronese Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 hi everyone, i we laugh and love each other very much. i have never had a sexual relationship with him, but i ofter wonder. he tells me he never felt love until he met me. he thought he loved his wife, and he says he does, but not in the way he loves me. he has one kid with her. he makes me feel more like a beautiful woman than any other person before him. we both struggle with our emotions and it kills me everyday to wonder what to do. we often talk about how good life would be if we could be together but we know its impossible right now. i don't know if it will ever be possible, and it kills me. ...but what do i do? Sarah Like all the others, I'd advise you to walk fast in the opposite direction. When his wife finds out, and she will, you will be dumped unceremoniously and without warning or explanation. He's enjoying your attention and his ego is getting some very welcome boosting. His wife is probably a bit pre-occupied with their child at home. He likes making you laugh because it makes HIM feel good. He makes you feel beautiful because flattery DOES get you everywhere. Fantasising about a life together is just that, a fantasy. He likes imagining himself in a different scenario because it's usually far less boring and mundane than his real life with his family. He said he loves his wife, but not in the same way as he loves you. Well I'm sure he's telling you the truth about that. His wife is his WIFE, you are just a very enjoyable distraction to his day. Don't fall for his charm, it'll end up biting you on the arse Veronese x
ahotmess Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 I know it is sooo very hard to hear. I am going through intense pain right now and it's only been a couple of weeks since I was last with my MM. But these ladies/men on here are right...and they have my aggreance....If he really loves you...he will leave....no matter the circumstance. Seriously. Happiness is our ultimate desire...and it leads people to do crazy things...if you (or in my case me) were his ultimate desire, wouldn't he do anything to have you be completely in his life? I know that sounds rough...but I'm taking my own medicine right now....I fight the phone every single night...with tears in my eys....just so I don't go back. It is hard with him contacting me. Try to save yourself now....maybe we can all save ourselves together! Just keep referring to this post....keep us updated.....regretfully, I know exactly what you're going through. And it SUCKS!!!!
InApickle Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 Your circumstances sound extremely like my own. Well, I'd have to say that it seems that all the OW stories I've read are all very similar. It's a horrible place to be in. Two hearts meet & fall in love, and then enters reality. I'm the OW right now and it's so hard. My situation didn't exactly start out this way, but ultimately ended up turning me into the OW. How it all started was through a very compatible friendship for 6 years through work. During those 6 years we were always very good friends and had an unspoken attraction. This MM is a wonderful person, and eventually expressed his feelings to me last year. We fell full blown in love with eachother, but I would not act on my feelings for quite some time. This drove him crazy. He pursued me heavily. Finally, he said he was leaving his wife and 2 kids to be with me. That is the only way he knew he could have me, because I would not be with him until I knew he was seriously ready to move on. I did not want to be the OW, because cheating is something I am strongly against. We moved in together, but that only lasted a short time. The guilt of leaving his marriage of 14 years and grossly disappointing his children, lead him to a supposed attempt at reconciliation. But, unfortunately he can't and won't let me go (and I haven't wanted him to), and I haven't yet had the strength or back bone to end things and let him find out if there is truly anything to reconcile in his marriage. Yes, he is having his cake and eating it to. I'm being a big softie, because I have known for years he was unhappy in his marriage. He is under extreme guilt and pressure over all of this and he continually tells me he loves me and wants to be with me. He just doesn't know how to make that happen, unless his wife get's fed up with him and asks him for a divorce. Everyone in his family and church are pressuring him towards reconciliation, about all. He has honestly told me, that although he is very unhappy in his marriage and knows that it can not change, he just can't be the one to ask for the divorce (I think because he's worried about how other people will view him), although he is fully aware that he is most likely going to force her to divorce him, because of his continued infidelity. I'm a terrible person for allowing him to make it be her that choses to end the divorce. I just wish he could stand up for what he tells me he believes in and do the right thing. Leave her, or leave me. I'm soul searching for the strength to end a relationship with the love of my life. I'd do anything for this man, obviously. I'm his accomplice at this point, and I'm not feeling good about it. This is all very short period of time. We lived together a couple of months and then I've been the OW for 2 months. It's killing me. But I love him so much and he keeps asking me to bear with him, and that everything is going to work out for us in the end.
InApickle Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 i'll be damned if I went through the pain ( and still going through it) for nothing ...one good thing to come out of it is to help others and speak on it. DO NOT DO IT!!!! My MM works with me too and that makes it much worse. When the A/R ends, which it will, you will have to go through the sorrow and heartache in front of coworks and everytime you see him it will be like pouring salt on a wound that never heals. I feel exactly the same. I work with my MM. And everyone we work with know's about our situation. (Because he left his wife for a couple of months for me and our relationship was public.) When we aren't together and I see him or hear his voice at work... The pain and agony of this situation tears through me.
InApickle Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 From an MM perspective, it is so hard when you find someone who offers so many things - brains, companionship, common interests - that your wife simply can't, regardless of things she tries to improve on. But it shouldn't be impossible for him to leave his wife. One of the hardest things about staying in a joyless marriage is thinking about spending the rest of your life with someone who just can't fulfill your needs, knowing all along there is someone who can. So whatever you do, don't accept his lame excuses, because if things between you are that good, you should have a future. If you honestly don't think that's possible, then you really need to move on. That is encouraging, because it is exactly what my MM says to me. He is just asking for time to handle things with his wife and kids the way he needs to. (I actually think he is waiting for his wife to get fed up and make him leave.) He grew up with a very religious back ground and his entire family has shunned his behavior, even if it is in his best interest long term. So.... I've been playing the waiting game.
travellingman Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 That is encouraging, because it is exactly what my MM says to me. He is just asking for time to handle things with his wife and kids the way he needs to. (I actually think he is waiting for his wife to get fed up and make him leave.) He grew up with a very religious back ground and his entire family has shunned his behavior, even if it is in his best interest long term. So.... I've been playing the waiting game. Well I'm not so encouraged reading your response here. If you two are right for each other, and have been together a reasonable amount of time, then there's nothing to wait for. My point was about certain unchangeable personality traits and the regret of knowing you're not with your soulmate. But you're letting him walk all over you. If he's religious, it won't matter if he gets divorced now or in 10 years, you don't get bible points for adding years to a failed marriage. "The way he needs to" is his way of buying time to keep his two-time situation going. Seriously, lots of guys out there with no balls. Looks like you got one of them. 1
InApickle Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Well I'm not so encouraged reading your response here. If you two are right for each other, and have been together a reasonable amount of time, then there's nothing to wait for. My point was about certain unchangeable personality traits and the regret of knowing you're not with your soulmate. But you're letting him walk all over you. If he's religious, it won't matter if he gets divorced now or in 10 years, you don't get bible points for adding years to a failed marriage. "The way he needs to" is his way of buying time to keep his two-time situation going. Seriously, lots of guys out there with no balls. Looks like you got one of them. Wow, you actually hit the nail on the head. I am a door mat right now. I totally agree with you. I wish he wouldn't use religion as a reason not to leave right now, but continue to give me all the reasons he can't let go of me. I'm having an incredibly hard time turning him away. We had a long...drawn out discussion about this situation today. It always ends with both of us running from the obvious... I just wish I could get the back bone and show myself some respect and end things. If he loved me as much as he says he does, he'd want to give me a ligitimate relationship. Thanks for your response travelingman. I needed to read that after the day I've had.
Sami_D Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 he tells me he never felt love until he met me. he thought he loved his wife, and he says he does, but not in the way he loves me. he has one kid with her. he makes me feel more like a beautiful woman than any other person before him. i will get wrinkle lines faster with him cause i smile so much. we both struggle with our emotions and it kills me everyday to wonder what to do. i know his wife is his problems and i shouldn't be dragged into it. however he deserves better. we often talk about how good life would be if we could be together but we know its impossible right now. Hello sarah. Well, I probably don't need to add anything to your thread because others have said it all. You will either take those comments on board and move away from the situation, or you will think that you "don't care if your heart gets broken" because (at this point) it seems like a fair exchange for such great feelings you're getting. But it won't be any fun at all in the long run. If it was meant to be... then you need to go about it completely differently. Get your head back into gear and start asking him some serious questions about where it's going. BEFORE you get too far in. If there's any doubt whatever about honest intentions on his part... then give him the elbow. However charming he seems... he's got much less to lose than you in this. He can afford to let his 'emotions' run away with him. You can't.
Sami_D Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 Hello InApickle. I've replied to a few of your posts, but I can't see a thread from you about your story. So as I'm going through the threads I'm seeing different aspects of it and getting a little confused in my replies! For example, I think I read that he has now told you he can't leave? And when I wrote my earlier replies I didn't know that he'd already left once and gone back. This is a fairly common thing with some MM. I would not act on my feelings for quite some time. This drove him crazy. He pursued me heavily. Finally, he said he was leaving his wife and 2 kids to be with me. That is the only way he knew he could have me, because I would not be with him until I knew he was seriously ready to move on. I did not want to be the OW, because cheating is something I am strongly against. We moved in together, but that only lasted a short time. The guilt of leaving his marriage of 14 years and grossly disappointing his children, lead him to a supposed attempt at reconciliation. But, unfortunately he can't and won't let me go (and I haven't wanted him to), and I haven't yet had the strength or back bone to end things and let him find out if there is truly anything to reconcile in his marriage. Yes, he is having his cake and eating it to. Reading this I'm wondering why you've changed your position on being the OW. It seems to me that he's not being strong for himself, and in the process he's hurting everyone. And from being the strong one at the beginning (and getting some results) you've become less certain about what you want to do. What can you do to pull back this situation? And, do you think you could be happy with a man who is so indecisive, bows to outside pressure, and in the process hurts you so much?
violet_21 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 I hate to say this but.. maybe be glad not to get deeply involved with this person. I've been with a married guy for 3 years, and it has been the hardest most painful thing I have ever done. 3 years of being left out. Not being able to meet his friends. Not being able to get to know his children. Not being able to meet his family. 3 years of sleeping alone. Knowing he is sleeping with someone else. And even after the seperation, can't sleep at his house incase the wife drives by, stops by... 3 years od sleeping all alone, so now its actually impossible to imagine it happening, and causes anxiety just thinking about it. 3 years of heartbreak, pain, grief, misery, and torment. of having no one to turn to or talk to. being jealous and hurt and angry and pittifully sad all at the same time. 3 years of knowing that even if things do work out, his children and ex wife are not going anywhere. HIS EX WIFE IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE! EVER! *crys* 3 years of fearing he will lose interest and go back to her. It's not the romantic fantasy it starts out as. That is quickly gone... like a flash of light, its gone. It's pain, and sad, and heartwrenching... the guilt I feel is awful. I have developed OCD and anxiety. I just don't want anyone else to go through this. It's just.. I can't describe how hard this has been.
violet_21 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 I just thought I'd mention.. getting seperated/divorced won't neccesarily change much. Mine has been seperated almost a year, and things are not good. The ex will have much reach, control and power over him, through the child. Or through money. B fears his ex, and is completely preoccupied with "keeping her happy" so she doesn't try to get full custody etc. And with his children. And with himself. there is nothing left for me.
Sami_D Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 B fears his ex, and is completely preoccupied with "keeping her happy" so she doesn't try to get full custody etc. And with his children. And with himself. there is nothing left for me. Hello violet. I've responded on your thread... But what is all this about his W getting full custody..? How? Is he being realistic, or fearful? And does he see how this is affecting your R?
violet_21 Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 His ex's father is very rich, and dislikes him, so he thinks that if she gets upset for any reason she will try to get full custody or more money and he will lose because her dad can keep shelling out money, and he would run out fast.
Sami_D Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 His ex's father is very rich, and dislikes him, so he thinks that if she gets upset for any reason she will try to get full custody or more money and he will lose because her dad can keep shelling out money, and he would run out fast. Well I'm no expert on custody, but a lot of this might be just his fears (or worse, what he's telling you in order to justify his behaviour) rather than have any basis in reality.
InApickle Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 Hello InApickle. I've replied to a few of your posts, but I can't see a thread from you about your story. So as I'm going through the threads I'm seeing different aspects of it and getting a little confused in my replies! For example, I think I read that he has now told you he can't leave? And when I wrote my earlier replies I didn't know that he'd already left once and gone back. This is a fairly common thing with some MM. Reading this I'm wondering why you've changed your position on being the OW. It seems to me that he's not being strong for himself, and in the process he's hurting everyone. And from being the strong one at the beginning (and getting some results) you've become less certain about what you want to do. What can you do to pull back this situation? And, do you think you could be happy with a man who is so indecisive, bows to outside pressure, and in the process hurts you so much? Thanks for your replies Sami_D. I really appreciate your feedback. Sorry for the confusion on my replies. Yes, he's saying that he can't leave right now, that basicially it will take his wife asking him for a divorce. He is very indecisive. One thing though, he is relentless in his desire for us to not break up, but now that he is back at home, he just keeps telling me to be patient, etc. My conscience is taking a beating. This is not in my character to deceive or take part in deceptive activities. He is fairly honest with his wife, but obviously not completely. She know's that even after he moved home, that he is still seeing me. She just tells him to get over "it", meaning me. (I think he moved home because he basically just snapped under the guilt she was dishing out about the kids & religious aspects.) His indecisiveness is extremely hard for me to manage, but I'm a fairly easy going person, so I am hanging on...sometimes by a thread! He is very concerned about how people would view him for leaving his wife for anther woman. I hate that it's that way. I told him from the beginning...back when I had the strength to turn him away... That I wanted him to leave his marriage of his own accord. Not because of outside influence--namely me. We have known eachother 7 years and he expressed a deep dissatisfaction with his marriage during that time, but he just lived with it because it was easier and was what he thought was the right thing to do. We were never romantically involved until last year. When he finally approached me, I quickly became deeply emotionally connected with him, but I never crossed the line until he actually left and was prooving that he was ready to move on. I feel like I did everything I was supposed to at that point. We moved in together for a couple of months, but it was rocky, not between him and me, but him and his struggle with guilt. Everytime he would go see his children (ages 11 & 13) he would come home devestated. It eventually escelated to him moving back home under the pretense that he is trying to reconcile his marriage. But I know, he knows and she knows, that there has been not much reconciling. More like him balancing two lives. When he moved back home it killed me. (it's going on 2 months ago now.) Everyone knew we were together. Everyone we worked with, (we work together, he's actually one of my bosses) my parents, all my friends, etc. His family knew, & his parents were extremely upset. His extended family stopped talking (wifes side) to him & his children were upset. I can understand why he caved and went back home. But now he can't live with his decision to try and move on without me. He is torn. He says he can't leave unless his wife asks for the divorce, because he says biblicially he has no justification to request a divorce. I try to raise the fact that continuing to commit adultry is worse and he acknowledges that. The thing is, he know's exactly how all this looks and how his behavior must seem. He just doesn't know what to do about it. He says he can't let go of me, that he feels we are meant to be together. And...obviously I'm in agreement. I just wish that I knew how to motivate and encourage him to do what's going to be good for him, and eventually everone else. Right now I don't know what he's waiting on other than for his wife to give him the boot. They are not being intimate, which is a huge on-going sore spot with her and it tells her that he is still not letting go of me. She is getting fed up. Her getting fed up to the point where she can't take it anymore and asks for the divorce, I think is what he truly is counting on. It's the only thing I can think of, to explain why he continues to love me like this and continually asks for my patience and to bear with him. I guess, my stance from the beginning to now has changed drastically. Now, I lack courage to end it with him and see if that would give him the eye opening experience to make him start making decisions to change or to just try to go back to his old life. I know right now, it's been easier to just try to blind myself to the fact that he continues to be wed to someone else. I feel betrayed and hurt that he went through all of this with me...just to turn around and go back to her, but continue to be with me. How does this mesh? It doesn't. It has to end sometime.. I just don't know how or when. I don't know if any of what I'm saying helps clear the confusion. I tend to ramble on and flutter to one thought and another, when I get to talking about this. I'm just so confused about this situation! You are right Sami_D and I don't know how to get back to that clear headed person I once was. Right now, I'm consumed by him and so much in love. Another thing that I don't recall reading anywhere here, is my MM is very jealous of my past relationships and current contact with any man. He feels like I truly belong to him....and he is quiet possesive. That behavior in itself, makes me think that he could never be without me. Anyone have thoughts on that? Sorry to ramble on so long!
iamtrying Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 halo .. your story seems so much like mine..... my MM also tried to leave his wife and kids but caved under the guilt etc.... he works overseas and just went back home on New Year's eve. i had also basically told him that we had ended once he reaches home as i refuse to be the OW. he tried his best to convince me otherwise but basically i tried to be mean and hard to him so that he wont contact me. its been like 12 days since and there has been no contact from him. its the 1st time we had gone without contact for so long. though its been a good thing for me that he had not tried to contact me but i do miss him terribly. my point is, stay strong. start a diary. thats what i did. when you read it , you will start to realise that you are basically repeating yourself and unless the circumstances change .... there can never be a good ending for the story and you will slowly start to let go. it is tough but hang in there...
castle26 Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 "Another thing that I don't recall reading anywhere here, is my MM is very jealous of my past relationships and current contact with any man. He feels like I truly belong to him....and he is quiet possesive. That behavior in itself, makes me think that he could never be without me. Anyone have thoughts on that?" I would dump this man based on the jealousy and possessiveness alone. Don't let a man control you. YOU be the one in control, YOU call the shots. TRUST ME
Sami_D Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 Hello again InApickle. Yes, your recent post makes things a lot clearer. In a way our situations are quite similar. My MM hasn't left (yet?), but his W knows nothing of the A. He has two children, aged 9 and 11, and these are the main reason he's still there. He hasn't (yet?) come to terms with how to be a good father to them while leaving their mother. Their relationship is over, but the marriage continues based on contingency. I don't think he's being fair to anyone, and like you, I can only see the fact that if he bit the bullet in the short term, in the long term things could be better for everyone. (I know some people may disagree with that). But what to do..? I have many of the same thoughts and feelings that you do. I don't know whether to (or if I even could) walk away at this point. (It hasn't gone on long enough that I feel he'll never do it. The way our R has developed we actually haven't had enough time (even in my own mind) to be certain that making this big move is inevitable). I don't feel my (or your) situation is hopeless... it's just that it's so hard to be certain WHAT course of action would produce the long-term goal that we're aiming for (you, and me, and our respective MM). What can possibly happen that can enable a MM to move out of the home where his children live without a tremendous amount of fear and guilt..? And we love them, and don't want to see them torn to pieces. And we don't want to be The Other Woman. And they don't want to continue to live a lie... The only thing I would say in your case is that your MM has made that move once. The fact he's gone back again after a short time (he didn't give it long enough, of course) doesn't mean that he can't make the move and stick to it a second time. Also, since your R history with your MM is slightly different to mine, and you were at the beginning stronger, and got some results, I'd say that you could use that approach again. The real thing that has changed is that you've softened up and caved a little. Do you think you can do something about that..? I just wish that I knew how to motivate and encourage him to do what's going to be good for him, and eventually everone else. Right now I don't know what he's waiting on other than for his wife to give him the boot. Well that's no good. Because even if he's not sleeping with her, she still has hope. And he's there. And that may be all she needs in the short term. After all, if you can wait for him, so can she. Her attitude is probably quite similar to yours. And he's being unfair to you both.
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