Brittanyjean06 Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 This might come off as kind of werid- and maybe unhealthy- but im curious on if anyone feels the same way- I can not at all listen to my good music that i love- soft songs- sad songs- like music that i love- i can listen to some rap- and some hard core rock-----but the rest i will not bear to listen to- i feel too much emotion when i try to- to the point where i feel dead- nickel back- photograph- when that song comes off my friends imeditely turn it off- I just can't do it- and than i think of these songs in my head------- and i feel so much heart ache??? im so scared of feeling what im really feeling some times where i shut it off- i can't because its too much- you have no idea how unbearable that feeling is- well im sure you do but its sooo scary- my lord is this normal??? I know its over- and thats the part that hurts so much and music isnt like listening to the same music when your in a fight with your boyfriend- this is for real, so i can't bear that .....? 1
Art_Critic Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 I have the same problem when I'm suiffering from a broken heart.. I also can't watch movies that have a lot of kissing and sex in them either.. I just turn the channel. I think I know it will make me sad so that is why I turn the channel.. What you are feeling is normal and it will get better with time
sick of it Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 im a music teacher, conductor, composer...whenever i play or conduct i would think of my ex to evoke feeling (sorry if it sounds corny). also, music touches me in a very strong way and its hard to be around it everyday when it brings out so many memories and emotions.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 6, 2006 Author Posted January 6, 2006 yeah that must be hard- people say music helps- but the thing is its one of the most things i fear now- is feeling that emotion- i feel it now but it brings too much pain when i listen to my music- time will help- but lord knows it will be a long time-
brooke7777 Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 I have trouble with the whole music thing too...sometimes it just seems like certain songs were wrote for you. I can'tlisten to Mariah Carey's "We Belong Together" or Kelly Clarkson's "Behind These Hazel Eyes." They just make me way too sad. I've been doing ok with tv and movies except for ones that were special between us until recently. Anyone remember that show Party Of Five...it was on Fox quite a few years ago. Well, I've been watching the DVDs of it and the show is a real tear jerker to begin with, but for some reason it's hitting closer to home now.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 6, 2006 Author Posted January 6, 2006 I actually can listen to both those songs!- they still hurt though- but when it comes to like alice in chains- deftones, the normally stuff that i love- makes me ache way too damn hard- good show
morrigan Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 When a friend of mine had a rough breakup several months ago, he couldn't handle listening to some of the bands both he and his ex liked. Not that they were love songs or anything like that. I figure I love metal and hardcore music too much--I can't give up my favorite bands or songs when I'm depressed. (I love AIC, by the way). The last time I had a bad breakup, I tended to listen to Chopin more, then I would blast something loud.
Nikita20 Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Brittany: Not only do I have problems with music, sometimes, I have problems going to the movies. If a preview has beautiful music and is sad, romantic, etc., it brings tears to my eyes. How pathetic is that? When that happens, I have to quickly maintain my composure because I don't want the other moviegoers to think that I'm a freak or something like that. I HATE it when that happens--it is so embarrasing. Anyway, it is normal we are all going through this. It will only take time, patience and much healing to get over this sadness. It doesn't happen overnight, so we must be strong and have faith that we shall overcome this pain and we will find love again. Just be reassured you are not the only one that is suffering.
chocolate_boy Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 I'm ok with music, but movies are the same for me! Anything that came out earlier last year or in the summer (my ex and I went to cinema all the time in the summer), stuff that is now coming out on DVD (Ring 2, Hitch, The Decent etc.) I could not watch any of them for some reason! Even though I'm mostly over her. Thing is it was like that with my ex before, even now I cannot watch Minority Report or pretty much any movie from 2001-2002 cos reminds me of a really happy relationship I was in then, and makes me feel a bit sad.... Odd I know!
soar eyes Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Personally, I dive straight in. If I know there is a love story, (which I have never liked love stories) I have always cried. I just load it in and start cryin, makes me feel better after, instead of fighting the monster. Yes there are songs that I know will make me cry, I love them, I just brace myself or either ask myself do I have the energy to listen to it. The older I get I am more frightened of rollar coasters. I face my fears, it gives me a rush. I make a point to ride all the highest rides at least once a year. Makes me feel like I have power over my fears. I know thats crazy but I do it. And if you wondered am I still afraid of heights, yes, but it is getting easier to approach them every year.
malachai Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 i got so bad that i would break down when i saw the commercials for a DVD release for movies i had wanted to see with my ex right before we broke up. and it's really bad when your ex watched a crapload of TV, cause then you have to blacklist so many shows at least my ex didn't have the same taste in music as me, far from it.
brooke7777 Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Chocolate Boy...my ex and i used to go to the movies all the time too. He was a film major. The last movies we saw together are starting to come out on DVD now...Wedding Crashers was one. That movie is hysterical but I have a feeling I will be hysterically crying if I try to watch it again. But it was so funny, so I may have to give that one a shot.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 6, 2006 Author Posted January 6, 2006 I guess i should get over my fears- It's so hard though!....... no im the same way in movies whent they play like sample music- i can easily get teary- I get teary eyed over anything- that had to do with the ex it sucks!---but i didn't wake up to today and think of him right away- only after like 5 minutes- so i guess some things are changing- I dont know if the pain is getting worse- i think it is, because the more i know- the more it hurts----and by going at this rate - i Have no idea what i'll be like at the end of the year- i know i will still be hurting-
Geoffrey Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 ....especially ANY song by the Carpenters....we were both VERY much in to 70's tunes (we're both 40)....without tears.... oh s***.....here's one on the radio now...."It's Going to Take Some Time" figures!!!!!
Delicaterose00 Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Brit, its Kristen, ( delicaterose00). lol... I see your in need of some help again... I couldnt listen to music either.. I can now after 8 months, but you know what I try to think about now, even though the ex pops in the head, I pretend Im singing them to my new love, or the man Im supposed to or eventually be with... I think of the good feelings that song brings. and I just pretend what I want to feel when I hear that song.... Im like just soooooo sick of gettting down.. but I have to say.. when i start to think of him, I yell at myself.. stop stop.. and try to focus on something else, and it works 90% of the time. Im actually getting annoyed with it. Although, I had some empowering music I listened to for months..... Alanis Morset, however you spell it, her famous break up CD, no sad songs on there. lmao... Destiny's Child, Survivor... I would just yell that song out in the car every day... and for some reason I could listen to the Rascal flats CD, and thats it for quite a while.. but I pulled through and so will you.... I also wrote in a jounal every day and I looked it in a few days ago, and though, wow, I cant believe I went through that.... it was hard to read, all my pages of wishing I could die, and tears that would never end.. but I made it through, like everyone else does. U are only 17, I mean... wow.... Your not even legal, think of all the guys you have yet to meet, I mean, Im 24, still young, but your just a baby.... You need to shine, remember, shine, be strong, look in the mirror every day, its what I did, and tell yourself, " I will be ok, I will be happy, I am beautiful, I will not settle, ... anything that you feel you want to say, and let me tell you.... there were times when I was 18, my first love left me, I would cry at the register at work, I would lose it... I would look at every girls wedding finger to see if she was married or engaged like I was supposed to be, and I would go tht restroom real quick and have to look at myself and say, you are fine you will be ok, there are so many more guys out there and you know what there were and you know what.. I fell harder for this last guy than the first!! But of course I did, Im 24... lmao.. but.... what Im saying, is you still have so much dating to do and guess what, you Im sure will break a heart one day... I have and I have got to say, when the feeling is not there, you really find it hard to feel sooooooooo sad for the other person cause you dont care... I mean.. you feel bad, but there is nothing you can do.. and once u understand that side it helps to understand what your ex might be feeling.... But that doesnt matter really, what Im trying to say is, your young, dont let this boy ruin what is supposed to be the best time of your life right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Youll regret it later.... but of course, once you go to college and see the dudes,, youll be like.. my ex who???????
JS17 Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Totally normal Brittany. I hate it when ex's ruin really good bands for ya
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 6, 2006 Author Posted January 6, 2006 aww thanks so much del- That helped alot-- i KNow when breaking someone elses heart you really dont have the feelings to be oh so sad- but the thing is my ex was just cruel- and took the easy way out--- I love alanis morsette, im going to look up her lyrics now! But i can't wait to not be a wuss on listenting to my music- it JUST makes me think of him and feel so much sorrow! thankssssssss
Delicaterose00 Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Go to Poetry.com Look up Kristen Rutkowski, thats me, and read the poems I wrote about my boyfreinds.. these few poems are from the past relationships and this one. My angel was the most recent and I have not wrote one after the break up yet, but I will, but I like to do it when Im more healed..... just thought it would be somethign youd like to see.... they are short so dont worry....
Delicaterose00 Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 For Brit and anyone else having a hard time..... I want you to go the book store... and buy ( dont believe its at library, just came out a few months ago) and buy " Its called a Break-up because its Broken" You have to go get that book, it will help you sooooooooooooo much, or go to Amazon and buy it. I read it in one night because thats how depressed I was, but believe me, it helps you sooooooooooooooooo much, if you go the library, you will find stuff on broken relationships to.. It helps sooooo much.. but I recomend " Its called a Break-up because its Broken" It makes you laugh, yes, even at my darkest hour I laughed, and because of that book, when I turn my cell on the opening note is SuperFox, but you wont understand that till you read, but it reminds of what a wondeful I am. Go get it Brit, I promise you wont be sorry, and especially for a 17 year old, its good.....
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 7, 2006 Author Posted January 7, 2006 I have gotten self improvement books!- " why men love bitches- awsome to know for your next relationship and 10 secrets every woman should know in life- if you read that book girls im promis you, you are set for life please do I will defintly look up your poetry, probaly even print some out-- i saw that book some where and heard about it my mom picked up this book" being dumped"- witch i wasn't really dumped but..........i read all of it in one night! thanks girl
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 7, 2006 Author Posted January 7, 2006 I absolutely love- to bad! kick asss man!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha :-p
Delicaterose00 Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 I have the " Why men love bitches" book also. lmao... but that does not help you get through what your going through. Seriously, go get that book, I was telling you about..... its very good......Now I dont know how deep you are into reading... but if you are a deep reader, Get a book called " In the meantime" oh my god, her books are absolutely wonderful..... very big on insperation... I forget how to spell her name, Ilanya.. Illyana,.. I dont know... but something like that....lol... I had a really good day yesterday.... the seconds I thought of my ex, it only took seconds to forget about him..... Im finally on my last time to recovery and victory feels ooooooooooooooooh so sweet.
Ezydriver Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Hi Brittanyjean, I read your post and breathe a sigh of relief, relief that I have finally found someone with the same issue as me. When I met my ex she had a cool and eclectic taste in music, a broard musical taste, I do too and I shared ALL my music with her, I heard new music from her that I used to listen to all the time. There are 3 specific songs I can't bear to listen to, I accidently heard about 2 seconds of one of these songs on the t.v. the other day, it was the first song of the first album I ever listened to from her music collection on the first day we met, I can't describe how I felt, I flew out of the room, up to my bedroom and had a panic attack, I then cried for about an hour and took a further 4 or 5 hours to return to a normal (whats considered normal at the moment) state again. All this from 2 seconds of a song. I avoid pubs and clubs like the plague. ALL music except for rap, and R'n'B remind me of her, even songs that don't have an immediate connection with her somehow remind me of her, music from the same genres or bands, not necessarily the same songs. Its truly terrible and I am having a very hard time, I've deleted my whole music folder as some of the music in it I got when she'd be sat at the computer with me some nights, and some were her songs, oh its treacherous. In short, what I'm trying to say is, is that I can't listen to ANY music, nothing at all, its too emotional. Steve. p.s when did you split up? I did on 17th Nov, your join date is 19th, so maybe were going through the same thing.
lauraandbrats Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 I i hear a song it hurts akon lonely was or song if i listen 2 it now its all true hear it as it is lost her and i am mr lonely now no joke:o
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 7, 2006 Author Posted January 7, 2006 hey easy driver!- we split in august- i found out about his new girlfriend well august 15th!--- I know exactly how you feel!- but you can't even escape those songs- because you sing them in your head- and they wont go away- i to feel like i could have a panic attack.......like breath in breath out----because knowing its over for real! is the most painfullest thing ever- I just can't look at the facts i can't look at" he did treat me like crap most of the time" all i can see is us falling in love at 14- and AHHHHHHHH i could go crazy you have no idea-the pain is hitting me again- I know deep in my soul that its torn apart- makes me get teary eyed to say that- when it hurts, i tell my self okay im really going through this, yeah this hurts bundles- and i try to look at it objectivly but well i really can't when im so wounded right now?? you know what i meen- im sure you do, but its good to talk to people who are going through it- we will love again i suppose- later on----- how long has it been for you deli? you say you feel BETTER?
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