LostinMiami Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Hello everyone, I'm 23 and my girlfriend and I were together for 2 years when I moved to Miami for Graduate school in fall 2005. I had felt for a while that she has been far to dependent on me in the relationship, and after 6 months of the long distance relationship, I thought we needed a break at least until I finish school in May. So I told her I needed a break on Jan. 2, and ever since then I have been a complete wreck because I feel like I have made the biggest mistake. I thought I had commitment issues, but I haven't been sleeping since I said I needed a break. I don't want to just crawl back after 3 days, because I really feel like we need to regain our independence again in order to make our relationship work over the long haul, but I don't know what to do. Any advice?
flakyapplepie Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Quite simply you need to discuss these things with her. Communicate what you were feeling and how it didn't mean you didn't love her and didn't want to be with her. Put it out there in a dignified manner, with no crying. Just tell her that you miss her and want the relationship to work, but talk about the issues that are standing in the way of the relationship being healthy and functional. Tell her how you feel about her as well. I'm sure she misses you just as much. As long as she's not contacting you as well I think it's been made pretty clear that you both want your indepedence for a while. As you know what you did was right because in order for a relationship to be functional and healthy both need to respect and meet each other's needs and cherish one another's independence. But are you wanting to get back together with her for the right reasons? Are you wanting to go back out of fear or because you truly value the relationship and this person's qualities? You need to think about these things as well. If you are going back for the wrong reasons you are prolonging the pain for the both of you and you need to just go with the flow of painful emotions.
LostinMiami Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 But should I wait it out for a bit or just go crawling back?
WindDrifter Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Crawl but then again I hate games Tell her how you feel.
flakyapplepie Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Don't play games with the person you care about. You need to talk about your feelings. The least of your worries should be whether or not you should crawl back or wait.
LostinMiami Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 You guys are right...and I went to talk to her last night but all I got was her voicemail. So while I was talking to a friend on AIM...I decided to check out her away message (something I swore I wouldn't do during this ordeal) and it said "out getting myself into trouble 0;-)" Is she doing this to mess with me, or is she over me in just three days after a two year relationship?
flakyapplepie Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 No she misses you too. It's quite possible that she meant for you to see that. Don't be afraid to talk to her though.
Recommended Posts