PDPullmn612 Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 I dont even know if this is ever the right plave for this post, but i need to post it, quick! Ok me and my girlfriend have been dating about 10 months. She and I are only 17. We go to a private boarding school. As a result we get breaks, such as a thanksgiving break, a winter break etc. Now my problem is with my girlfriend and one of my friends. My girlfriend doesnt like one of my freinds who happens to be a girl which makes it even worse for her. The only thing is is that she doesnt even know her, she just knows a little about her based on stuff that she has heard from me and another person. Last night my girlfriend pretty much threteaned that if i didnt stop being friends with this other girl that she owuld break up with me! I mean what the hell? Ive tried talking to her about it a million times but nothing changes. So now i have to choose between my girlfriend, and my other friend. My girlfriend has more a of a problem with her than my other friends that are girls because me and my gf split up for the summer, and i met this other girl during that period in time. Now it sounds to me like a trust issue between me and my gf, would you say so? I have told her a million time that im not one to cheat as i would never wanted to be cheated on. I have asked my gf, and she says that she can trust me, but not fully because of past bad relationships where she has been hurt, and i simply told her that if you want to be as happy as can be in this relationship then you have to learn to trust me. She says that she trusts me, but not my friend. I just dont even see a need for it to hjave to come down to this I need some advice on what to do in the situation, and im not asking any of you to make the decision for me, i just need help becasue i would hate to lose my girlfriend, and my friend. Can anyone help me on how maybe to talk to my girlfriend about the issue? Let me know thank in advance Dave P.S. sorry for the sloppy post, im really upset right now sorry for the sloppy post
Author PDPullmn612 Posted January 5, 2006 Author Posted January 5, 2006 any one? please im begging you! lol im pathetic
bluechocolate Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Normally I would say that you should put your relationship before all others, but in all honesty you two have been seeing each other for only a matter of months (10 months less the summer break up?) & are still at school. It sounds like you've known this girl for about as long as you've been going out with your g/friend. At this stage in your lives it's inevitable that you, & her for that matter, are going to have friends of the opposite sex. So now i have to choose between my girlfriend, and my other friend. No you don't. The onus is on your girlfriend to come to her senses. She is the one who has to make a choice here. Her choice is to allow her jealousy to control her thoughts & drive you away or to trust you. You may have been too vocal with her about this friend of yours. No doubt she feels threatened thinking that you've shared thoughts & feelings about your relationship with this 'stranger' who she thinks is out to get you. It sounds like it might be too late for her to get to know this girl, which is a shame because therein lies part of the solution to your problem. Perhaps if this friend of yours starting going out with someone your g/friend would relax a bit? Maybe you can hook her up with one of your mates?
itwontdawnsooner Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 she's allowed to be a bit jealous, but she should have the trust in you to know that youre allowed to have friends of the opposite sex and you cant drop all that just for her. its unhealthy. she may try and twist it around to make you feel guilty for it, how dare you choose a friend over me - me, me, me. thats selfish. your response, should be how dare you make me choose between a friend and you - both important parts in my life - and asking me to pick favorites or giving me all or nothing ultimatiums is just childish. its not fair to you, and if you have given her no reason to distrust you, she needs to get over it because its not fair
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