Mary3 Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Guys : What kinds of things do guys do that shows the girl knows hes interested ? What kinds of things do guys do when they are Playing Games with a girl ? Either / or question if you want to answer,...
Lishy Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 I bet all the guys say they don't play games lol - Lets see!!!!!!!!!
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 I bet all the guys say they don't play games lol - Lets see!!!!!!!!! Well, a lot of guys don't I think games players - who can be female just as often as male - are a minority. They're just visible because they cause a lot of damage.
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 To answer the original question, I think the whole point of game playing is camouflage. A good "player" will by definition be hard to detect. Sadly. I think the best strategy is to get to know them slowly. And not to get too involved too quickly. A facade is easy to project in the short term, but difficult to maintain in the longer term. Key indicators have got to be their relationship with their family, the quality and quantity of their long term friendships and the degree to which they get on with colleagues. If they're generally on good terms with exes - and they don't have a disproportionate number of exes - that's a good sign too.
exotic_virgin Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 It depends very much as what u define as playing games... Men usually do what there heart desires... If they dont call its cause they dont feel like it etc,,, If u like a person there are no excuses... Its not very often when we really like someone in a short amount of time.... Some times people play games... ie annoy each other cause they feel annoyed or they want reaction... But we need a definition on game playing cause we all play tiny little ones at some stage...
blind_otter Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Key indicators have got to be their relationship with their family, the quality and quantity of their long term friendships and the degree to which they get on with colleagues. If they're generally on good terms with exes - and they don't have a disproportionate number of exes - that's a good sign too. RR, come on....charmers can charm anyone, including dear old mumsy and pop-pop. And many times they can flock together with other similarly-motivated individuals who think so-and-so is a great guy, even if he is a bird dog and will try to seduce any moderately attractive female, regardless of relationship status. Whatever happened to women's intuition. I can honestly say that every time I had a GUT FEELING that a guy was a sleeze, it always turned out to be true. Even if it took 11 months to rear its ugly head. Theoretically everyone can hide key elements of their personality for approx. 3-6 months, depending on the amount of face time ya get. My gut feeling (har har) is that, if you have to ask this question, they probably are playing with yer head.
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Hey there BO, good to see you again! RR, come on....charmers can charm anyone, including dear old mumsy and pop-pop.. True. But people don't happen in isolation - you will often see reflections of their behaviour either in other family members or in the way they treat or are treated by other family members. And many times they can flock together with other similarly-motivated individuals who think so-and-so is a great guy, even if he is a bird dog and will try to seduce any moderately attractive female, regardless of relationship status. Again, I think you're missing the point - a group of players is way easier to spot and diagnose than an individual. Whatever happened to women's intuition. Intuition is not infallible. I'm sure you've read "Blink" Theoretically everyone can hide key elements of their personality for approx. 3-6 months, depending on the amount of face time ya get. Agreed.
alphamale Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Theoretically everyone can hide key elements of their personality for approx. 3-6 months, depending on the amount of face time ya get. Oh, I think its much longer than that B_0....look at serial killers who keep their real persona hidden for decades. BTK is a superb example. Another one was that dude in Chicago who buried all those young boys under his house, the one who dressed up as a clown and was a fine upstanding businessman. John W. Gacy I believe it was...
whichwayisup Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Scott Peterson is another one... I like to believe most games played aren't meant to fck up the other person. Mostly it's a cat and mouse game. Once out of high school I think games are just plain stupid! Everybody goes through afew relationships of some sort and the guy is a d*ckwad.
blind_otter Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Well yeah, but I bet you anyone who lived with them or saw them as frequently as you would interact with someone that you're dating would have been able to spot it a lot faster. The problem is that there are certain personality types that the charmers will actively persue. They look for specific personality traits. Hallmarks of codependency, and prey on the people who have some obstacle to a clear perception of others. And it's a good thing I asked you, RR...your intial post was too vague. Yeah he might have lots of friends he's known for a long time, but you didn't say anything about the type of people he hangs out with. Snark. Always with the backpeddling. Ohhhh, I mean all this extra stuff I didn't actually verbalize or communicate but it all goes without saying, maaaaan. phbt. I lust you.
loony Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 Intuition is not infallible. I'm sure you've read "Blink" I've never read this book, but I always get a funny gut feeling with you.
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 I've never read this book, but I always get a funny gut feeling with you. The feeling is mutual
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 And it's a good thing I asked you, RR...your intial post was too vague. It's part of my "man of mystery" thing
Outcast Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 True. But people don't happen in isolation - you will often see reflections of their behaviour either in other family members or in the way they treat or are treated by other family members. Oh you'd think so. I thought that. Found a person whose family and colleagues both seemed to admire, enjoy, and like him. Turned out the reason for those reactions was that he was seeming to be changing his alcoholic ways for the better. They were excited I was in the picture and hoped I'd be his agent for change. When I later asked his sister why none of them let me know about all his issues, she told me they hoped so much that I'd be the person to help him out of his situation. Spending an extended amount of time in close quarters with someone is, IMHO, the only way to really know him.
alphamale Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 It's part of my "man of mystery" thing you've been watching too much austin powers
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 you've been watching too much austin powers He's an easier role model than James Bond
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. Spending an extended amount of time in close quarters with someone is, IMHO, the only way to really know him. I agree of course. I do think though that red flags will *often* be reflected in families. And I would say your story is an example of this - they covered up for him. You didn't see it till later, but it's bad behaviour.
Lishy Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 You can tell if someone is playing games - You feel it, you feel uncomfortable and unsure about things - THAT is the game!
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 You can tell if someone is playing games - You feel it, you feel uncomfortable and unsure about things Is this the old "my intuition is infallible" argument?
helena abadi Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 To answer the original question, I think the whole point of game playing is camouflage. A good "player" will by definition be hard to detect. Sadly. I think the best strategy is to get to know them slowly. And not to get too involved too quickly. A facade is easy to project in the short term, but difficult to maintain in the longer term. Key indicators have got to be their relationship with their family, the quality and quantity of their long term friendships and the degree to which they get on with colleagues. If they're generally on good terms with exes - and they don't have a disproportionate number of exes - that's a good sign too. I believe you are 100 percent right. Players are initially very hard to detect, as they are expert at camouflage. Get to know the person slowly and carefully, and make your trust a precious gift you won't give too easily. Players deceive new partners more easily than longer term ones who eventually see warning signs, become disallusioned with the lack of emotional intimacy, or just catch them out. Players may see juggling partners as sport, and they lack insight and sensitivity about the damage and hurt they cause. More men than women are players. Players have a large number of exes. They may try to hide this, or be blase about their number of conquests. They will be secretive with their cell phones, evasive about even the smallest commitments to normal dating. And they are charming, seductive and persuasive. They talk the talk but don't walk the walk. In other words, there's a big gap between what they say and what they do. It doesn't take long to figure it out.
Lishy Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Is this the old "my intuition is infallible" argument? Not so much an argument as a fact! Sometimes we feels just 'wrong' about something that we can't quite put a finger on so we ignore it and continue to feel 'wrong' That is normally down to subtle game playing going on! The thing with these games is that when only one of you are playing it can be very destructive.
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Sometimes we feels just 'wrong' about something that we can't quite put a finger on so we ignore it and continue to feel 'wrong' Well, I can't fault you there - I had a bad feeling a couple of times about the old Juliet and ignored it, to my cost. But intuition can be very wrong sometimes too. Read "Blink" if you're interested in this. The trick IMO is to weigh intuition as one of the pieces of evidence.
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 More men than women are players. Probably true. Although my own experience suggests that female players can be way smarter at hiding it. And more damaging, since they're looking to win your heart and adoration, not just get you into bed
Lishy Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Probably true. Although my own experience suggests that female players can be way smarter at hiding it. And more damaging, since they're looking to win your heart and adoration, not just get you into bed That is scarily true lol
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