Cayt Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I would like to share my story of loving a married man. I first met him when we were just sixteen years old. That was 33 years ago. I was his first love and first sexual experience. He moved to another country and soon we just lost touch. Now just last year we met again through classmates.com. We had been looking now and then for each other. He had already made plans to come to California again as a birthday present to himself. He asked me if I wanted to meet with him. Just a friends. Of course I agreed without hesitation. Over the next few months before our reunion, we emailed each other almost daily. Met in a chat room, talked on the phone. Sent music files to each other, pictures, our thoughts and feelings. I let it slip that I loved him, and he said he loved me. He had to travel to another country because his father was very ill, and during this time we would continue to email and talk on the phone. He would tell me how much he loved me, call me loving names that just made my heart skip a beat. He is British and I think along with all the loving words and his accent it went right to my heart. I knew from the beginning that he was married, but he never talked about his wife and I closed my eyes to that fact. Also that has very young children. Our reunion was amazing to say the least. Five wonderful days together. Then he told me that it wouldn't continue but wasn't very clear. Just that it had to cool down a little because his life was so busy. I was devastated to say the least. I was head over heels in love with this man! I thought he loved me. When I took him to the airport he held me so tight it was like he didn't want to let me go. When we each got back to our separate lives I would email him and tell him how much I loved him, but I could feel him pulling away. Nothing was the same anymore. I was so hurt I cried every day and couldn't seem to cope with life in general. Then came the email where he told me he didn't mean to hurt me and that he was sorry for sending me mixed messeges, as he put it. He would never consider leaving his children because they were too young. He also said he didn't love me the way I loved him. It hurts so much because I trusted him with my heart and soul. I'm not young anymore and I feel I will never have a chance to love again, not like this. Now the thing is, how am I going to get over this terrible hurt. If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it.
Leid Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Hi, there... I've heard quite a few stories about the old classmates, beside my own.... He sounds like the typical "classmate" trying to "catch up" to the ones who got away or to "rekindle, for old times' sakes" and frankly, from reading your story... his intention was a fling all along. That he changed so drastically after the sexual encounter only means he got what he wanted and the sharade is over. It's easy to manipulate someone using stories of the good old times. But those times you can relive but for so long, then life zaps you back to the here and now. I'm sorry to hear you got played like that. But I, too, got caught up in a Classmates.com "reunion".. this stuff is starting to get common... Hang in there, it's not your fault you fell for a jerk. Leid I would like to share my story of loving a married man. I first met him when we were just sixteen years old. That was 33 years ago. I was his first love and first sexual experience. He moved to another country and soon we just lost touch. Now just last year we met again through classmates.com. We had been looking now and then for each other. He had already made plans to come to California again as a birthday present to himself. He asked me if I wanted to meet with him. Just a friends. Of course I agreed without hesitation. Over the next few months before our reunion, we emailed each other almost daily. Met in a chat room, talked on the phone. Sent music files to each other, pictures, our thoughts and feelings. I let it slip that I loved him, and he said he loved me. He had to travel to another country because his father was very ill, and during this time we would continue to email and talk on the phone. He would tell me how much he loved me, call me loving names that just made my heart skip a beat. He is British and I think along with all the loving words and his accent it went right to my heart. I knew from the beginning that he was married, but he never talked about his wife and I closed my eyes to that fact. Also that has very young children. Our reunion was amazing to say the least. Five wonderful days together. Then he told me that it wouldn't continue but wasn't very clear. Just that it had to cool down a little because his life was so busy. I was devastated to say the least. I was head over heels in love with this man! I thought he loved me. When I took him to the airport he held me so tight it was like he didn't want to let me go. When we each got back to our separate lives I would email him and tell him how much I loved him, but I could feel him pulling away. Nothing was the same anymore. I was so hurt I cried every day and couldn't seem to cope with life in general. Then came the email where he told me he didn't mean to hurt me and that he was sorry for sending me mixed messeges, as he put it. He would never consider leaving his children because they were too young. He also said he didn't love me the way I loved him. It hurts so much because I trusted him with my heart and soul. I'm not young anymore and I feel I will never have a chance to love again, not like this. Now the thing is, how am I going to get over this terrible hurt. If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Wow. What a heart-breaking story. That he changed his tune so fast shows what kind of self-centered, deceitful guy he is. Please forget about him and do not contact him any more. You fell in love because of your previous history with him. He didn't even care when he played with your feelings. What a jerk!
suegail Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 The only advice I can offer you is the kind you won't really care to hear, and I think you must know in your heart that you have to let go totally of any idea of ever having a relationship with him. I know you're hurt and you feel he's taken away the chance you had to love someone to a great extent, but you never really had that opportunity to begin with and he knew that from the start and never should have led you on as he did. I'm just very sorry you now have to go through all this emotional turmoil.
Brianschick Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 I am so sorry you have to go through this. I have no good advice for you. Time is the only thing that will heal a hurting heart. What a jerk he was for hurting you.
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