Girl asked if she could adjust my collar

[Martin D]

I went out recently and met a girl. I hardly knew her.

We were talking, at one point she was looking at me and she said, you mind if I adjust your collar? I said it's okay, and she did, she was also touching my skin / chest and looking straight into my eyes. What could this mean?

Later she put her glass of beer to my mouth.

 

[basil67]

It's called 'flirting'

[Martin D]

Maybe she's interested? I'm not good at picking up flirt signals.

But she is 15 years younger. 

[Gebidozo]

1 hour ago, Martin D said:

Maybe she's interested? I'm not good at picking up flirt signals.

But she is 15 years younger. 

It looks like she is interested. Why don’t you find out? Do you like her? How old is she? If she’s 17 then yeah, 15 years age gap might be too much, but if she’s 27, it means very little.

[Martin D]

19 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

It looks like she is interested. Why don’t you find out? Do you like her? How old is she? If she’s 17 then yeah, 15 years age gap might be too much, but if she’s 27, it means very little.

Yes, I like her, she is 24. But, she also has a boyfriend (he was there too, they were with a group). She also asked me if I wanted to join their tennis club, she knows I also play tennis.

At one point I had to leave because the rest of my group was leaving. I said goodbye and reached out, and she let me touch her side..

[FMW]

If she was your girlfriend, would you have an issue with her interacting with another guy as she did with you?  If so, I would not pursue it.  

[Gebidozo]

8 minutes ago, Martin D said:

she also has a boyfriend

Whaaaat… Then why do you even care whether she is interested or not? Just leave her alone. She has a boyfriend, end of story.

[Martin D]

6 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Whaaaat… Waarom maakt het je dan überhaupt uit of ze geïnteresseerd is of niet? Laat haar gewoon met rust. Ze heeft een vriendje, einde verhaal.

That's why I thought it was so strange, and that's why I don't think I do anything with it

[Martin D]

I'm not a handsome guy I think, but I'm not ugly either. I'm not insecure. However, I am not very good at picking up signals from women, hence my question. 

[Martin D]

10 minutes ago, FMW said:

Als ze je vriendin was, zou je er dan een probleem mee hebben als ze met een andere man omgaat zoals ze dat met jou deed? Als dat zo is, zou ik er niet achteraan gaan.  

So what she did wasn't right? Did I do something wrong?

[Martin D]

I'm actually just curious what such a young woman wants from me when she does these kinds of actions. We came across their group, and she came to me, she didn't do anything to other guys

[Gaeta]

Was she drunk?

[Martin D]

6 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Was she drunk?

No she wasn't drunk, she had a few beers. 

Edited September 21, 2024 by Martin D

[Gaeta]

42 minutes ago, Martin D said:

No she wasn't drunk, she had a few beers. 

Sounds like a few beers was enough for her to lose some of her inhibitions. That time it was you, next time will be a different guy. I would stay away if l were you.

[Martin D]

3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Klinkt alsof een paar biertjes genoeg waren om haar remmingen te laten varen. Die keer was jij het, de volgende keer zal het een andere gast zijn. Ik zou uit de buurt blijven als ik jou was.

but why would she do that to me of all people?

[Gaeta]

36 minutes ago, Martin D said:

but why would she do that to me of all people?

You know  what they say....everyone is attractive after a few beers lol. Sorry for the joke :-) it's not important why. Why you give this importance is a better question.

 

[Martin D]

31 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

You know  what they say....everyone is attractive after a few beers lol. Sorry for the joke it's not important why. Why you give this importance is a better question.

 

Because women contact me more often, but I don't consider myself a handsome guy at all.

[Georgia46]

45 minutes ago, Martin D said:

Because women contact me more often, but I don't consider myself a handsome guy at all.

She obviously found you handsome. 
 

don’t run yourself down. 
 

it’s probably best to stay away from people who are already in relationships unless you want to get yourself into a right old mess - take it from someone who knows

[Leihla_B]

3 hours ago, Martin D said:

...she also has a boyfriend (he was there too, they were with a group). She also asked me if I wanted to join their tennis club, she knows I also play tennis.

She sounds like bad news. Either she was trying to make her boyfriend jealous, or she's setting you up with the tennis thing to leapfrog over to you,. She's showing you her ease with disloyalty. Would you want someone like that?

As for why she picked you, she either finds you attractive or naive enough to manipulate, or both. You'd be wise to not take the bait.

[Martin D]

1 hour ago, Georgia46 said:

Ze vond je duidelijk knap. 
 

Maak jezelf niet gek. 
 

Het is waarschijnlijk het beste om uit de buurt te blijven van mensen die al een relatie hebben, tenzij je jezelf in een echte puinhoop wilt werken - luister naar iemand die er verstand van heeft 😎">

I'm not insecure and I don't think I'm ugly either. But I don't think by myself: I'm a good-looking guy. But often women come to me, hence my question.

[Georgia46]

Are you interested in her? 

[Martin D]

8 minutes ago, Georgia46 said:

Ben je geïnteresseerd in haar? 

Well, a bit, she is a beautiful woman. My relationship is not going well. Maybe not hers either. I had also seen her a few weeks earlier, when we also had eye contact, and she kept looking at me.

[Georgia46]

Welllll… you’re both in a relationship then??

soooo the question is what do you do next

Edited September 22, 2024 by Georgia46

[Martin D]

10 minutes ago, Georgia46 said:

Welllll… you’re both in a relationship then??

soooo the question is what do you do next

Yes we are. I didn't know that night that she had a boyfriend, I only found out later. I don't know what to do, I'm not going to message her. I think I'll see how she reacts to me next time. But like I said, I thought her action was a bit strange because her boyfriend was there too. Or is what she did normal? And we have a big difference in age, but I'm a bit boyish

[Georgia46]

How old are you both?