Update on my first date with Kim

[Keeves1]

Hey! 

I’m coming here to give update about my first date. I know I’m very late. We had the date on 12. September. 
 

It went well! We will meet for the second date somewhere between the 27 or 28 september. We have not agreed on a date yet. I just asked her what time she is free and she said around those two days but I will ask her once the day comes close. 
 

 

[Gaeta]

15 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

I just asked her what time she is free and she said around those two days but I will ask her once the day comes close

Why? If you don't book her she is free to accept other men's date invitation. 

Get the calendar and book a day and time.

[Keeves1]

17 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Why? If you don't book her she is free to accept other men's date invitation. 

Get the calendar and book a day and time.

Ah okay! I will talk to her and set up the second date for saturday 28

[Keeves1]

9 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Get the calendar and book a day and time.

Boom! 28. September is booked! Thnx, Gaeta

[Gaeta]

3 hours ago, Keeves1 said:

Boom! 28. September is booked! Thnx, Gaeta

Good job!!

 

[Keeves1]

@GaetaI’ve been thinking about this question but unsure if I should go through with it. Do you think it would be appropriate to ask her if she has been on other dates since our first date?

[Sony12]

17 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

@GaetaI’ve been thinking about this question but unsure if I should go through with it. Do you think it would be appropriate to ask her if she has been on other dates since our first date?

No you should not ask that question. It's generally assumed that people multidate on these sites. You asking her that question would probably be a huge turn off and would likely end your communication with her or severely the hamper it.

You only have a right to know who all she has been going on dates with if you two mutually decide to get more serious.

Edited September 19, 2024 by Sony12

[Gaeta]

7 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

@GaetaI’ve been thinking about this question but unsure if I should go through with it. Do you think it would be appropriate to ask her if she has been on other dates since our first date?

It's a big no-no. You don't ask that, not even for the sake of conversation. You have not met, you don't even know if you will like her in person so there is no point of asking that. I agree with @Sony12it will be a turn off.

Assume she is going to meet other men and you should continue meeting other women. Just throw it all in the universe and let happen what is meant to happen. Maybe you'll have a coffee this weekend with someone else and you'll both hit it off.

[Sony12]

Especially considering these two appeared to have met off of Tinder. A site pretty well known for casual dating.

[Keeves1]

36 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

No you should not ask that question. It's generally assumed that people multidate on these sites. You asking her that question would probably be a huge turn off and would likely end your communication with her or severely the hamper it.

You only have a right to know who all she has been going on dates with if you two mutually decide to get more serious.

Thnx! It’s noted

[Keeves1]

29 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

It's a big no-no. You don't ask that, not even for the sake of conversation. You have not met, you don't even know if you will like her in person so there is no point of asking that. I agree with @Sony12it will be a turn off.

Assume she is going to meet other men and you should continue meeting other women. Just throw it all in the universe and let happen what is meant to happen. Maybe you'll have a coffee this weekend with someone else and you'll both hit it off.

Thanku!

[fred123]

On 9/18/2024 at 1:36 PM, Gaeta said:

Good job!!

 

Wait. The last girl I asked to book a date 9 days in advance said "haha that's too far in the future, maybe"

I'm so confused. I thought u cant ask women out that far in advance...

[fred123]

18 hours ago, Gaeta said:

It's a big no-no. You don't ask that, not even for the sake of conversation. You have not met, you don't even know if you will like her in person so there is no point of asking that. I agree with @Sony12it will be a turn off.

Assume she is going to meet other men and you should continue meeting other women. Just throw it all in the universe and let happen what is meant to happen. Maybe you'll have a coffee this weekend with someone else and you'll both hit it off.

They have met already though! 

[Keeves1]

6 minutes ago, fred123 said:

They have met already though! 

True! But I don’t think it would be a smart move from me to ask her that. It’s not my business to care if she has been on other dates since our first. We met on tinder and she is free to go on date with other men and it’s fair if I do the same. I should wait asking her tho

[fred123]

48 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

True! But I don’t think it would be a smart move from me to ask her that. It’s not my business to care if she has been on other dates since our first. We met on tinder and she is free to go on date with other men and it’s fair if I do the same. I should wait asking her tho

True but what if she had sex with another guy yesterday?

[Mrin]

7 minutes ago, fred123 said:

True but what if she had sex with another guy yesterday?

So what. What if he had sex with another woman yesterday? When you're just starting to date it is far better not to know what the other person is doing and who they're talking to. When/if it gets serious, that's when you have the conversation and I always try to make sure that conversation is about the future rather than a rewind of the recent past. 

[Gaeta]

2 hours ago, fred123 said:

Wait. The last girl I asked to book a date 9 days in advance said "haha that's too far in the future, maybe"

I'm so confused. I thought u cant ask women out that far in advance...

Nothing to be confused about. OP's lady is interested in him so it's not silly for her to book a date for the following weekend.

In your case she was not that interested, she said no to book a date in 9 days because she was keeping her agenda open for other men she would like over you.

[fred123]

7 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Nothing to be confused about. OP's lady is interested in him so it's not silly for her to book a date for the following weekend.

In your case she was not that interested, she said no to book a date in 9 days because she was keeping her agenda open for other men she would like over you.

Ok harsh but fine. Why is OP waiting 2 weeks between dates? If the girl likes him shouldn't he see her once a week? I want to know what's the reason she cant see him.before next sat?

[fred123]

On 9/18/2024 at 12:31 AM, Keeves1 said:

Ah okay! I will talk to her and set up the second date for saturday 28

Why so long between dates? And are u in daily communication in between dates?

[Sony12]

If someone is interested they will be willing to schedule a date two weeks from now or two days from now. If they aren't interested they won't be willing to schedule a date two days from now or two weeks from now.

Scheduling a date a couple weeks in advance is fine. Many people have busy weekday schedules and many also don't want to dedicate every single weekend to dating.

[Leihla_B]

13 hours ago, fred123 said:

Why so long between dates? And are u in daily communication in between dates?

Fred, dating is just getting to know a person--it's not an instant relationship. So asking if she is seeing someone else, or worrying about whether she is having sex, or trying to see her too fast or too frequently, or expecting daily contact after a first date--that's all 'in your face,' premature and intrusive for most people. Consider a more relaxed and respectful approach.

OP, congrats on your first date and setting up a second.

[Keeves1]

Update: 

She just cancelled the second date... oh well many fish in the sea so on to the next one! (If I'll get any matches) 

Edited September 23, 2024 by Keeves1

[Sony12]

6 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

Update: 

She just cancelled the second date... oh well many fish in the sea so on to the next one! (If I'll get any matches) 

Happens. Often times people will initially agree to a date just to be nice and/or to avoid any drama and will go on to give a cancellation excuse later.

[Keeves1]

18 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

Happens. Often times people will initially agree to a date just to be nice and/or to avoid any drama and will go on to give a cancellation excuse later.

She said that she does not feel chemistry. To schedule a second date after 2 weeks is normal yes, but I don't like the idea of it because then you would lose momentum but what can I say?  People are busy and need to find a time that fits 

[Sony12]

17 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

She said that she does not feel chemistry. To schedule a second date after 2 weeks is normal yes, but I don't like the idea of it because then you would lose momentum but what can I say?  People are busy and need to find a time that fits 

Saying they don't feel the chemistry is just a generic line people give which could mean all kinds of different things. I have had an hour long make out session with someone where we were both feeling each other up and then just before the second date was set to happen she came back with that line. I think for many that is just a line they give to almost everyone that they simply don't want to continue on with for whatever reason.

Edited September 23, 2024 by Sony12