Lishy Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 Hi It's me again I am so angry today and I really need to vent it! How dare that man drive past my house trying to get my attention when he knows how I feel about him!!!!! I am the sort of person who likes to please people, I like people to like me and I don't like to say someone or do something to upset someone but this guy is taking the piss out of me! I really feel annoyed that I have to think twice about standing out on my OWN balcony incase he drives past! I dont want to call him and ask why because he will just say it's the road he drives down and I will look dumb as hell .... What I really want to do is the next time he drives past I want to stick my middle finger up at him, you know, flip him the bird, and just walk inside ........ Maybe then the azzhole will stop driving past. Is this just pathetic? The other half of me doesnt want him to think bad of me! I shouldnt care what he thinks of me as he obviously doesnt respect me or he wouldnt be putting himself in my face like he is! I know he wants to get things back to how they where (what guy wouldnt) but I cant do that or I will get so hurt. The thing is that he is a nice guy and it isnt HIS fault that I got feelings for him, we both knew what we where doing, he didnt pretend it was anything it wasnt, I just got feelings for him. I am so pissed about all of this and I want to make a stand! Am I right or wrong here? I really need constructive advice on this - I start healing then he drives past and BAM it all floods back! I feel so angry! This anger could be stemming from how ill I feel with this abscess and I dont want to do something I regret, but I feel I am ready to blow with this guy. How can he be so insensitive!
alphamale Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 The thing is that he is a nice guy... ...How can he be so insensitive! the above two statements contradict one another.
Author Lishy Posted January 4, 2006 Author Posted January 4, 2006 He is just after booty and even though is IS nice he is just out for what most guys strive for - And to be honest Alpha I need constructive advice not your sarcasm ... Thanks!
Neptune Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 Consider your options: You could talk to him and try to convince him to stop. But, you already know the outcome because he will just tell you he is driving down the road. You could call the police and attempt to get a restraining order on him. But, I don`t think this warrants that measure and probably you don`t either. You could lay in wait on your balcony with a 12 guage pump shotgun and when he drives by just do him in plain and simple. but then you would be wanted for homicide. Not an option. There is one more option. And that is to get control of your emotions and be indifferent to his behavior. If it means you can`t sit on your balcony some times then maybe it is worth the sacrifice to keep your sanity. Just look at him like an annoying neighbor in an apartment complex. Sometimes they do things that are right in that zone where you can`t say anything but it is too small an issue to call the manager and make an issue of it.
alphamale Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 - And to be honest Alpha I need constructive advice not your sarcasm ... Thanks! I was trying to point out that your mental image of him may be skewed and not objective. I believe that is constructive criticism.
Yamaha Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 get control of your emotions and be indifferent to his behavior. If it means you can`t sit on your balcony some times then maybe it is worth the sacrifice to keep your sanity. He just wants you to know he's there to get a reaction out of you. You are doing exactly what he wants, thinking about him, so you have to pretend you don't see him. Don't acknowledge him or flip him the bird. I know it's hard when you have feelings for someone and seeing them just upsets you. You still want them but you have to get in control if you want more than a booty call. Think of your needs and wants. If they don't match his then you have to suck it up and ignore his presence. He will tire of the game if you don't react.
Art_Critic Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 Don't call him or contact him.. this will just feed him and it will not stop. Have a male friend talk to him and impress upon him that he must leave you alone.. You also could go to the police and file a complaint.. maybe having a cop visit him will stop.. even though the police really can't do anything except talk to him.. maybe that will be enough.. what a creep There is a whole lot more to this guys personality that you have yet to see..
JS17 Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I don't want to have to say this Lishy but I learned it the hard way and it's the only thing that made me really stop doing what you're doing. He doesn't care about you. Keep reminding yourself of that. As much as it hurts you need to. You will find someone who does, this guy doesn't deserve you. Hope you start feeling better soon too (your abscess)
alphamale Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 what a creep.. I agree A_C...it is really too bad that many women are intensley attracted to men who treat them like dirt.
JUSTME3 Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 It is very sad that some people enjoy playing with peoples feelings to boost their own egos. I know it hurts to realize that you fell for a guy that cares more about himself than he does about you. There are "men" out their who do not do such things and you deserve that kind of man. Have you tried getting involved in something else to distract you? Just hanging out with friends, casual dates or persuing something you have always wanted to (painting, hiking etc)?
Touche Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I'd sit on the balcony with coffee and the paper - maybe a drink and act like NOTHING is amiss. I'd completely IGNORE him. This will make HIM crazier than it's making YOU. He wants a reaction. I agree with Yamah. I wouldn't do anything in any way shape or form to let him know that you're even aware of his driving by. Totally ignoring him is the best "revenge." Don't not go on the balcony because of him. At first, it will be hard for you to not be affected by it...but really, after awhile, you're just going to expect to see him drive by and you won't have quite the reaction to it. After that, he will stop since he's not getting the reaction he wants from you. Try that and see if it doesn't work. Let us know, OK?
JS17 Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 It is very sad that some people enjoy playing with peoples feelings to boost their own egos. I know it hurts to realize that you fell for a guy that cares more about himself than he does about you. There are "men" out their who do not do such things This is realiity. Deal with it.
Author Lishy Posted January 4, 2006 Author Posted January 4, 2006 Oh guys you have been great AGAIN! I am so pleased I found this place I feel so much better just hearing the supportive things you all have said - If I was reading this and it was written by someone else my advise would be just the same, only it's sometimes hard to give yourself the advice that is so easy to give others! I agree that he doesnt care about me and that it is all about his ego! I tell myself that every time I think about him and that has helped me heal. Today has been such a bad day for me I have spent the day crying (which is not like me) And it is true that he would love a reaction in any form from me. I will just walk inside if I see his car coming - The problem is that I am not looking for his car so I generally dont see until he is beeping up and waving at me. I have been brought up to be polite so it is hard for me to just ignore someone, it actually plays on my mind if I think I have been rude to someone. I will just act as if I have not heard him if he toots up and I will walk inside and if I do see him before he sees me I will walk inside anyway. Not being able to go outside in my own home was making me so mad, but I don't have to do that - I Just need to realise that he has no motive other than ego and I need to realise that I cant make him want me and I wont even try to! Thank you again everyone for the advise given so far you have been stars! Ps Alpha, I was after construstive ADVISE not critisism and even though I think you are great, sometimes the things you write need to be thought about a bit more before you click send
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 He's beeping and waving at you? That proves that he is just doing it to get on your nerves. Men!!! You can try one of two options. Ignore him, don't even leave the balcony, just continue staring upward into space or into your book. Or, admit to him that his "tactic" to string you along is working...and ask him to stop. Tell him it's one thing to drive past if it's on his normal route, but also tell him you're trying to forget him because he DID HURT you and you would appreciate him not to try and get your attention. And then start ignoring it if it continues. Then, there's option #3...invite a male friend (or female ) and start going at it when he drives by.
slubberdegullion Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 Then, there's option #3...invite a male friend (or female ) and start going at it when he drives by. I'm available...
Walk Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I may be wrong, but I don't think the anger stems from his driving past as much as the fact that her freedoms are limited. So surpressing/controlling her feelings isn't going to work. IMO she's angry because something she enjoyed (reading on the balcony) has been tainted, or taken, from her. Would it be possible to put up some sort of screen that will block your view of the road enough so that you won't see him? And vice versa, so he won't see you on the balcony. Even something temporary that you can set up and take down when your ready to go back inside. Like those japenese screens that fold out, you still get light and sound and its nice to look at, but blocks the view. I think this would get the message to him very clearly without having to talk to him or contact him in anyway. You could even just nail a sheet to some two by fours and tack it to the railing until you feel ready to confront who ever may drive past again. It may look a little silly, but it's your happiness, and your freedom's we're talking about, not anyone elses opinions.
Author Lishy Posted January 4, 2006 Author Posted January 4, 2006 Hi Walk baby I feel so much better now hon - I wont put anything on my balcony - I will just act like I dont see him. Blank him but not in too obvious a way, otherwise he will think I am bothered! Can't let him think that I care eh lol
slubberdegullion Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I wish I had something sage-like and wise to add to Walk's advice, but as usual she's got a good handle on this. A_C also made a good point: If you have a BIG male friend that can have a gentle little chat with the fellow on your behalf, that may help. But from where I sit, he's got this infatuation with you that's probably going to diminish soon enough. Or, lob an egg at his windshield next time he drives by.
whichwayisup Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I say next time he drives by, give him the finger, hold up a note that says "GET A LIFE!" LOL! Nah, just try your best not to let this guy get to you. Stop thinking about him, then you'll care less about what he does/thinks/acts like. He's a goof!!!
Walk Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 Lish, I like the new avatar. Prefer your beautiful shinning face though. Is this a reflection of the dangerously beautiful you? The metallic sheen like the shield for the heart?
FataMorgana Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 Then, there's option #3...invite a male friend (or female ) and start going at it when he drives by. my thoughts exactly, just beat me to it. I reckon that has to stop the ego boost he gets out of driving past...."ooops,been replaced already"
Author Lishy Posted January 4, 2006 Author Posted January 4, 2006 Funny enough I was speaking to a sexy fireman last night and was thinking of asking him for lunch on my balcony! I believe in karma - lol
Author Lishy Posted January 4, 2006 Author Posted January 4, 2006 Lish, I like the new avatar. Prefer your beautiful shinning face though. Is this a reflection of the dangerously beautiful you? The metallic sheen like the shield for the heart? Awwwwww Walk you are so sweet, you aure know how to make a girl feel good! The metallic shine is due to very oily skin hahahahha
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