MissD213 Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 Ok, here is my story as short as possible. When I was in 11th grade I met a boy who went to a 1-yr tech school near me. We hit it off great, and spent pretty much all our free time together when we weren't in school or at work. But by the end of junior year, he was finished with school and moved back home..1 1/2 hours away from me. We never had any problems at all, not one fight and were very comfortable around one-another. Even though he lived 1 1/2 hours away I'd drive to visit him EVERY weekend. WELL, a year into the relationship we were on the phone one night and I randomlly decided to pop the question "Did you ever cheat on me?" Hoping to hear no, of course I heard the "yes." He told me that a WEEK after he moved back home he was at a party drunk of course and ended up sleeping with a girl. He apologized many many times and his reasoning for it was because I still had another year of high school and figured our relationship would fail because I was young, still in high school..while he was starting a full time job at a big corporation. He ended up driving down to see me the following day because I was very upset over it and to apologize. Apparently, his close friends knew about it and he told me he felt horrible over it. I'm now in college and we're still together. After all this, still the only reason we ever may fight (which isn't that often anymore) is because of what he did. He's been showing he's changing for me by not going out to parties and getting drunk to the point of doing something like that, spending basically all his free time with me on the weekends, not hanging out with his buddies every night like he would and calling me to let me know what he's up to. I'm in love with this kid and he feels the same. So many times he's told me he'll never do it again, you know the story. Now this happened almost 2 years ago but it's so hard to get out of your head when you're in love with the person. All i really want is someone elses perspective of this situation, other than a friends. So to the reader, does he sound honest and trustworthy? AND what are some ways to try and get it out of your head??? Thanks
Sinfuldelight Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Ok, here is my story as short as possible. When I was in 11th grade I met a boy who went to a 1-yr tech school near me. We hit it off great, and spent pretty much all our free time together when we weren't in school or at work. But by the end of junior year, he was finished with school and moved back home..1 1/2 hours away from me. We never had any problems at all, not one fight and were very comfortable around one-another. Even though he lived 1 1/2 hours away I'd drive to visit him EVERY weekend. WELL, a year into the relationship we were on the phone one night and I randomlly decided to pop the question "Did you ever cheat on me?" Hoping to hear no, of course I heard the "yes." He told me that a WEEK after he moved back home he was at a party drunk of course and ended up sleeping with a girl. He apologized many many times and his reasoning for it was because I still had another year of high school and figured our relationship would fail because I was young, still in high school..while he was starting a full time job at a big corporation. He ended up driving down to see me the following day because I was very upset over it and to apologize. Apparently, his close friends knew about it and he told me he felt horrible over it. I'm now in college and we're still together. After all this, still the only reason we ever may fight (which isn't that often anymore) is because of what he did. He's been showing he's changing for me by not going out to parties and getting drunk to the point of doing something like that, spending basically all his free time with me on the weekends, not hanging out with his buddies every night like he would and calling me to let me know what he's up to. I'm in love with this kid and he feels the same. So many times he's told me he'll never do it again, you know the story. Now this happened almost 2 years ago but it's so hard to get out of your head when you're in love with the person. All i really want is someone elses perspective of this situation, other than a friends. So to the reader, does he sound honest and trustworthy? AND what are some ways to try and get it out of your head??? Thanks If he's putting forth a lot of effort to change his habbits in order to please you I'd say you should just keep in the back of your mind and hope it never happens. Chances are it may never happen again and he may very well be the perfect man ... and then there always is that small chance it'll happen again. Just watch for signs...sounds like he's still trying to ensure he has 100% of your trust. So all I can say is good luck and may he never hurt you again.
ManicHayze Posted January 7, 2006 Posted January 7, 2006 Unfortunately, infidelity in something that is so hard for me to forgive. But, I believe there are circumstances to every situation. This may be one of them. I think it is great he see'sthat the probably didn't just stem from him not being able to control himself, but going out and partying and getting drunk every weekend. He has finished tech school, and is starting his career now, I would think he needs to start taking that seriously. Going out and drinking and partying every weekend and night is not a good way to start out the makings if your career. Now, I'm not saying going out and having a few drinks is bad. But doing it as you described, to the point of using it as an excuse to cheat on someone, is bad. And that needs to be worked on as well.. I would really say this is your call. We don't know him, so we can't judge how he may act in the future. If you feel he is sincere, and he has shown a genuine effort to proving to you it was a one time mistake, and he is changing his habits to prevent it from happening again, I would give him another chance. And this is coming from someone who finds it completely hard to forgive, and if it were me, I would not have forgave him So you have to make the best decision you can, based on how you think he feels about it. It would be a shame to lose someone because of one mistake, but it would be even more of a shame to be hurt again, for the same reasons. Again, I say this is your call
DaBurg33 Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 he seems sincere, alot of guys would never admit that he cheated on his girl. he could have kept it to himself but it looks like he was suffering inside knowing he hurt you. try to forgive him, especially if it was in the early stages of your relationship when you werent sure if it would continue. but dont forget it. i cheated on my girl when we started dating and it hurt me when she found out and i never wanted to hurt her again. try to have some trust, i know girls want to look for a guy with no faults, but sorry they dont exist, every1 has them. follow your heart
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