Weezy789 Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 When you break up with someone.. do you normally delete all remaining emails, etc? Meaning.. if you were to do the ending of the relationship. Do you save them? Just curious..
CaliGuy Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 When you break up with someone.. do you normally delete all remaining emails, etc? Meaning.. if you were to do the ending of the relationship. Do you save them? Just curious.. In short, yes. If you're going NC, you should also: 1. Delete their contact info from your phone. 2. Delete their username from your IM programs. 3. Remove all pictures and reminders of them. You need to get them out of our head and rehashing old emails doesn't allow you to move on. Just box up their stuff and put it somewhere well out of place. When you meet someone else and run across their stuff you just might be tempted to throw it away. You'd be wise to do so. Healing begins with cutting them out of your life. It doesn't feel good to start anew, it's a strange feeling but you have to do it to get a fresh start. The longer you hang on to reminders of them the longer it takes to heal.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 It usually takes me a few months, but I delete everything....almost everything.
salmagundi Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 when I decide the time has come, if it does I will put all of my exes emails and photos on a disk, erase them and hide the disk in a shoebox at the bottom of a closet somewhere. But dont through it all out unless the relationship seriously meant nothing to you because one day you might regret that.
CaliGuy Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 when I decide the time has come, if it does I will put all of my exes emails and photos on a disk, erase them and hide the disk in a shoebox at the bottom of a closet somewhere. But dont through it all out unless the relationship seriously meant nothing to you because one day you might regret that. The past is the past. Deleting old, irrelevent emails is essential to moving on. Hanging on to old email drudges up old memories and doesn't allow you to move on. Who cares if they said they loved you some time ago. I mean I am as sentimental as the next person but I also realize part of letting go and moving on means truly forgetting the past. Learn from it, yes, but doubtful you'll regret deleting the emails. Deleted all hers, I don't regret a thing. It stops me from going back and rehashing everything trying to figure out what went wrong. I know what went wrong, I'm fixing my issues, becoming a better, stronger man and in the process leaving the ugliness that is her behind for good.
Ezydriver Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I pick my men like I shop. I find something I like but I still look through the whole rack in case there's something better in there. How very nice of you, I just hope your men dont pick their women like they pick their cars, something to run around in and is cheap, but always looking for a quick ride in something newer with nice curves!!! I hope you never 'pick' me because I'd very quickly put a 'sold' sticker on my price tag!!!
Nikita20 Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I've deleted the emails he has sent me, however, I have two cards that I can't seem to part with: Valentines Day card and BDay card he sent to me last year. Both are beautifully written and show how much in love he was with me. I've been tempted to put them in the shredder, however, I haven't done it yet. I can't seem to let go of them. Weird thing is I barely have any pictures of him (maybe about 3-4). I bought him a digital camera two years ago and he has the majority of the pictures of us on his computer. I haven't deleted the pictures on my computer. But I did look at a picture of him the other day and I nearly cried.
Kengne II Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 In the past I have kept old stuff e.g. teddy bears, gifts etc... But with my most recent breakup I found myself deleting his emails and hiding his gifts. Since our breakup in October we have since started talking again, taking things slow. Things are going good but I'm just taking it one day at a time. Whatever happens, happens. I've brought back out the stuff I hid. The deleted emails are gone forever tho, but I'm glad because they bring back old memories of our past rel'ship I'd rather not have. 2006 is a new year - time for new memories. K.
That_girl Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I have deleted all of the emails that my ex had sent me, some of them were from 4 years ago...and I threw out every single piece of clothing or picture of his that i had. I guess it depends on how bad the breakup was and how emotionally invested you were in the relationship that will either make you want to never have to be reminded of that person again. I was so pissed when we broke up that I literally grabbed anything in sight that was his or reminded me of him and threw it into the trash can. He treated me horribly so I really didnt want to see any of that stuff around as I became disgusted by him. But now that I'm starting to heal I'm glad I didn't throw away the letters he wrote to me while we were in high school back in the day because I will always laugh when I read them. They remind me of the good times and as long as they're tucked away in an old shoebox, it can't really do me any harm to save them.
Jadey Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 When we broke up after about 2 months i deleted his text messages, his number (though i know it off heart ), put his pictures in a drawer in my bedroom along with any othr bits of his s*** such as CDs and such. I have all his things put away but i wouldn't want to throw them away. As i know one day i will be able to look at them and not feel the pain, maybe be able to smile and have abit of a giggle? But we contacted eachother by text over xmas and atm still have them saved on my phone. I will delete when i feel the time is right again. I owuld say it is best to hide memories, but not ged rid, one day you may want to smile back on them Jade
itwontdawnsooner Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 deleting is a way of getting rid of reminders which is a way of healing. your brain and memories are doing plenty of reminding in all likelihood, so why have even more ways to remember? you may not want to delete and throw out all of it right away, and if you cant bring yourself to do that, at the very least you should hide it all away in a corner somewhere. holding onto them, for me, is symbolic of holding onto something that no longer exists. its not easy at all, but i think it helps heal in the long-run
Just Visiting Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 My break up before this recent one was a definite learning experience. I learned not to hang on to any reminders as I mooned over them for over a year!!! So when my recent ex and I broke up 3.5 mths ago, I deleted all his emails, pictures, online activity, chat logs within the first month. I found myself checking his online profiles and stuff which just added to the hurt. So I purposely avoid those as well. There are times when I wish I had something to look back on, but remind myself that it will make me even more miserable if I do. There are times when I really miss him and wish he would re-initiate contact. But I think I am better off slamming my head into the wall. So I am maintaining NC and in the processing of restarting my life.
riobikini Posted January 5, 2006 Posted January 5, 2006 The only thing of his that I kept was the nice bottle of lube he'd bought from an adult sex store. I smile everytime I use it. -Rio
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