sexiibabee Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year now. After our lease at our apartments is up we had had plans to move into his friend’s house until we could afford a place on our own. Out of the blue last month, he asked me if I was staying at my parents’ after the lease was up at the end of January. Major shock!! He never talked to me about his decisions or included me in making a decision. He won’t give me any straight answers and I don’t know how to approach the situation without driving him away by nagging but I really need to know what is going on. I have a lot of expenses, school starts up again, and now I found out I have to find a place to live?? I can’t see myself living without him but I can’t force him into anything. How do I go about this situation and what can I do for him to “fall in love” with me again. I’m scared that if we don’t live together he’ll fall into the bad habits he’s around when he’s not with me. I’m scared to lose him. And I’m mostly scared that he’s falling out of love when I know he loves me…I just don’t understand what I can do.
clandestinidad Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Thats odd that he would do that were there any signs before this? Has he been acting strangely for a while? what did he say after he said that about living w/ your parents?
latinprincess Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 I live with my boyfriend and we are going on a year as well and we are talking about getting house as well. But I think i would be in the same boat as you. Thinking negative about his actions. But I wouldn't wait around for him to make his decsion on weather he wants to do. But it was kinda messed up for him just to come out and say something like that. He maybe scared. Have yall been fighting alot? Because if you have been you need time apart. Becasue i know what it feels like. Wanting time apart so nothing happens to the relationship. I know that for a fact. Don't worry about making him falling back in love becasue if he really loves you he won't have to. Just let him know how you are feeling. And if he doesn't answer you. And won't be a man about it. He not a man to begin with. But no matter what happens always Keep Your Head Up:cool:
Author sexiibabee Posted January 3, 2006 Author Posted January 3, 2006 He asked what day our lease was up.. (o btw we had another couple living with us that brought a lot of stress into our relationship, which is why i want to live together because we werent "fully" living) so i say the end of January. His words "So you're staying at your parents'?" Me thinking huh? I just told him that I couldn't. I didnt know what else to say. And he kept encouraging me to. He has been acting strange lately. Spending a lot more time with his friends, Playing XBox until 5 in the morning constantly, and he's kind of rude and distant when we talk on the phone. But when he's near me and with me with no one else to disrupt, he is the sweetest kindest person ever that i've always connected with and i see why i love him so much. i feel like i'm lacking as a girlfriend. definitely losing libido which is a problem and i don't know how to help myself especially when i'm feeling down. i want to talk to him but it's hard when there are so many other things going on.
clandestinidad Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 hmmmm....it doesnt sound like he wants to break up or anything, so its kinda confusing, huh. Maybe he's gotten a little scared or something. You know guys pull back from time to time, but its when they keep pulling back that its a problem. They've been compared to rubber bands....they pull away but then come back again. I think its best for you to be self-reliant and find yourself a place to live. If you push, he'll keep pulling away. He's basically told you, in the nicest way he can think of, that he doesnt want to live with you after the lease is up. It might take this time away from you for him to realize that he does want to move forward with you. But he apparently doesnt know right now. I know you really want to grill him and get a more definative response about what he wants/feels....but that will just push him. Women prefer to have it all out and hear the specific words...even though they hurt. He has already told you, in his way. So, I say pull back and set up your own plans. If he wants to join in on making plans with you, he'll speak up and say something about it. btw, I'm really sorry that he's doing this. What a shock it must be! On the other hand, he's not breaking up with you....so he's probably just scared and taking the time he needs to decide how/when to move the relationship along. Dont worry about him, girl....try to do your own thing also, please dont put this on yourself....its not about you being a good/bad girlfriend, or not horny enough....this is not an issue about YOU. It seems to be about the typical male struggle about growing up and moving along in a relationship or staying immature
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