UT_longhorn Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 so my GF of 9 months broke up with me 2 days ago. on new years day. a few couple weeks ago she was feeling suffocated so i gave her space. she came back and wanted to work things out slowly. then we had a fight on new years eve. she said i embarrassed her in front of one of her friends and i do think i was acting rediculous. i yelled at her because she didnt spend any time with me at the club during new years eve evening. not even during the countdown...which i felt was messed up. We've been going trough problems so i guess that was the straw that broke the camel's back. shes broken up with me before. and always has gotten back with me. but i really feel that her feelings for me have declined for me recently and shes become very unsure of the relationship. she said this is it. shes not gonna contact me. i asked is there a chance that we might work it out. she said maybe way down the line, but dont count on it. I asked her did you loose feelings for me? She said because of last night I did. I feel that she uses break ups as some sort of punishment because she does it then gets back with me. Very immature. But like I said..I think this might be the last one. I'm so angry because I feel that she doesn't truly appreciate me and has done some ****ty things (like breaking up over aim while im overseas), but I can't get her off my head. So far, I've not contacted her...but man...I am burning up so bad. I miss her so much. i'm all about the no contact, but what if she calls?? will she call?? UGH!!! What do i do to dull the pain! Ouch!
newbby Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 ouch! sorry. it is very difficult to get over somebody when the relationship has been uncertain anyway. if she has had a habit of breaking up with you and getting back together, then you will have to get past the usual breaking up getting back together time period before truly beginning to heal, unless you just make a decision yourself that you have had enough, and choose to move on.
ElizabethH Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 I agree with Newbby-- Do you want to be in a relationship which is so unsure? Where your partner is breaking up with you at anytime? You deserve better. Don't contact her. The pain is real and will be there for awhile, but you know what? It will go away and you'll (believe it or not) come out of this a better man. Write down all of the things that you've learned from this relationship. Go for a run. Hold on. Hold on. She may want you back but then you'll have to take it slowly with her...just have fun...no sex, etc. You two will have trust that you'll have to build up again. For the meantime, hold on and get through each day. Be sure to find the good in life each day even when you are experiencing the pain. You'll be fine.
itwontdawnsooner Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 her saying its because of what you did the other night is nonsense, its not one thing - its very rarely every just one single thing that breaks a relationship. she's being petty with that remark, and i know (unfortunately) from experience. it's too rocky, too unsure, its putting you through hell to have it - hell to not. the pain can't be dulled other than what other posters have said, it sucks bad. but. if she calls youre going to feel this intense urge to answer, maybe she's come around again. now i dont know your situation so i cant tell you exactly what to do, but it seems like the best thing to do would be not answer - and listen to the voicemail. if she leaves one. if she doesnt, make sure youre ready before you talk to her, but if your head is everywhere - its going to be verrry hard to talk to her, maybe harder than not.
Author UT_longhorn Posted January 3, 2006 Author Posted January 3, 2006 you know....i keep holding on to a glimmer of hope that things will work out between us, but I need to somehow convince myself that things are not going to work out to move on. how do i channel my pain into anger?
Author UT_longhorn Posted January 3, 2006 Author Posted January 3, 2006 I guess I just need to go through the grieving process. I understand NC is a process to heal oneself and not supposed to be used as a "tactic" to bring the ex back to you, but how long on average have you seen before the ex waits to contact back? I know I shouldn't be thinking that way resting on hope but I'm alos curious as well.
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