Brittanyjean06 Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 I still haven't excepted it, because i feel like i am holding on to hope that one day he will atleast talk to me- my heart hurts so bad, and i feel like im going crazy like omg no this is not happening- i feel like i could hypervenalate and just scream- thinking that its truly over makes me want to cry forever- how can i except that?? It's been well atleast 6 months- It just feels like the first day again- It feels so awful that this is happening- i know its for the better----I just can't believe i have to go through this- i actually truly have to go through this---- Now all of my dreams are back again- just like they were when we first broke up----How do you except something so painful?
brooke7777 Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Hey girl- I've been havin dreams a lot too lately. It sucks. It's like the somehow take control and pull you right back to square one. I keep hoping that this is all one big, long dream and that I am going to wake up and everything is going to be back to the way it used to be. The whole new years things has screwed with my head too. I couldn't help but wonder...is he kissing someone at midnight? As for accepting our situations...I have no idea what will help us. I'm still having quite a bit of trouble accepting my own situation. It's weird...I know that we are not together but I still can't get to the point to truly accept it. That hope still lingers each and every day. I keep thinking one day he's going to realize what he has let go of and come running back. One day he will stop being confused and things will pan out ok between us. I think part of my problem is that we have remained in contact. But he's like a drug...I can't and I guess I don't want to escape him. I also have tons of trouble with letting go of things. The pain in unbearable sometimes. Yesterday I had a real bad day. We can only expect that we will continue to have our ups and downs. We were both in long term, serious relationships that truly devastated us. Like you told me before, six months is just a fraction of time and it's going to take a long time for us to feel better. Part of us will probably always long for them...they were our first true loves. Keep your head up and try to create a list of things you can do to help take your mind off of things when the pain becomes immense. I know that's easier said than done. I forced myself to go to the mall yesterday. It made me suck it up and stop crying...I didn't want to look like a wackadoodle in the middle of the mall. Put on an upbeat cd and sing and dance your heart out...NSYNC or Spice Girls are good ones. You can think about how silly their songs are now but how awesome they were a few years ago. Always remember that you are an awesome person and that you will continue to be an awesome person whether or not he is in your life. You've helped me get through some rough days and I'm sure you'll continue to help me through plenty more. I'm routing for you and I know you are going to come out on top!
coasting Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Thanks for being honest and staing how long this pain will go on for. I to just lost the love of my life. He walked out the door while I was working,leaving a note behind. I understand the pain, anxiety, sleepless nights, weight loss from no appetite and so on.It is the worst pain anyone can go through, and I would not wish it upon anyone. i have to face him on a daily bases at work, as well as the woman he moved in with. This just brings the pain back over and over again. I have put in for a relocation in the hospital so I do not have to face them hoping it will take some of the pain away. i think TRYING, and I do stress the word trying to keep your mind busy is really all we can do for now. I have people all ove telling me not to let him see how much I am hurting, and act like I am ok, and am bettering myself. Trust me it does not work. Forcing ourselves out of out caves of darkness, and into the light of the world is just the beginning, of taking on this pain day by day and somehow, someway we will coquer it, in the end!
Insearchofmyself Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Just have faith and trust in yourself that you will heal.
sick of it Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 my exgf left 7 months ago. like you, ive been going through this for a long while. ive been stuck in the rut of waiting for the phone call that wont come. looking for her car. hoping for an email....if you havent tried this yet, do it... im not a mad person. ive carried no hate towards my ex. i love her still very much, despit the things she did to me during and after the relationship. the way she broke up with should be enough to make me never want to see her again...but i do. however, start by saying, ___(exs name) is a _____(expletive of choice)." take some time and think of the way they broke everything off, the way they treated you afterwrds, the way they were during the relationship that pointed to this. remember the dishonesty, the betryal, the selfishness. i did this for the first time yesterday and i feel better today. BETTER, not fixed. but when i start getting down, i think of those things and its a little pep talk. i think ill start a thread that does this and we can all write out our stories. ive always been against hating your ex. i never understoof how you could. how could you hate someone who you loved so much. how could you hate eachother? well i dont see this as hating them. but talk right now like you do. we all still romantisize them and put them on a pedestal. we look at them like gods because of the pain weve been caused by them. because they planned this and have happiness, we see them as stronger individuals. no they probably didnt intend to hurt us, but in their pursuit of hapiness, their true level of selfishness came through strongly. just try this and see how it works. Dont make excuses for them. say what happened! this rant needs to end with you saying how it truely is their loss. and though they may be happy now, though they may have found "the one", though theyre "better off" without you, it really is their loss. the anger, pain, soul searching, and self improvement youve been forced to go through is going to be their whether or not they come back. they didnt go through any of that. youre an even better person than before the broke up with you. ITS THEIR LOSS!!! BELIEVE IT!
coasting Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 You are absolutely right it is their lss, and someday they will wake up and realize this. I guess I just hoped and prayed that this pain would go away or at lessen, but it doesn't. I hear his name and that god for saken awful pain in my chest comes up. I often wonder if they are happy out there knowing what they have done, and how much they have hurt us. If they really loved us they have tohave some kind of knwledge of the pain they have instilled upon us. I actuallly set him free last night in my mind. If he comes back then he will be mine, but the question at that time will be wwill I want him back or will I take him back!
seachange Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 I know something about how you feel, brittanyjean - my breakup was about 5 months ago now and it's been difficult for me to let go, too. I'm not exactly sure why it's been so hard for me this time, or whether I have any new advice to offer...but I will say that after all this time, I am finally starting to feel a change. But it's not what I expected: I feel swirls of peacefulness mixed in with the pain. It's an odd feeling. Perhaps it's the beginning of acceptance? And yet I don't feel like I've actually accepted that he isn't in my life. I think maybe I've just gotten used to the idea. Maybe this is how it is for lots of people in breakups, but it's new to me. In the past, when it was over, I'd experience the sharp breakup pain for a bit, cry over it, then fairly quickly turn and walk away. But in my current situation, I think I'm experiencing this lingering attachment because for whatever reason, in my mind/heart/whatever organ, something doesn't feel "done". I don't think it's a question of closure, exactly; we've both broken NC enough for me to feel like we've said plenty, analyzed the relationship (which probably helped dig its grave) and I still don't feel "finished". Maybe it will just take time, but I can't really use past breakups as a template for this one, so I have no idea how long it will take. But, this is where the peacefulness comes in: lately, I've been feeling like maybe that's okay, and there's no need to rush myself through the process. It will take how long it takes. I can't make myself suddenly not feel anything. It is what it is, and meanwhile, I'm just trying to live my life. I have no idea if I'll be over him in another month or so, but I'm prepared to take that as it comes. And I find that reassuring in an odd way, because a month or so ago I was still wanting desperately to move on already, date other people if that's what it takes, cut the pain somehow and just get on with things. And now - I've stopped fighting myself so much on the issue, stopped trying to rush healing. I miss him: so be it. I think that accepting that it's okay for me to feel this way, rather than judging myself as weak or clingy or foolish - liking myself rather than constantly chastising myself - is what's bringing some measure of peace. It's not a question of whether someone else has lost something; perhaps he has, but the more important point is how rich a person you are, how much you gain by the act of loving someone, not to mention appreciating yourself as a loving person. And you are. And that's all that matters.
Geoffrey Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 it's only been about 7 weeks, but boy, do i miss her sometimes....i have my good days and my bad days....mornings are really tough, when i am at work, because she used to work here too and when we lived together we would drive in together, we were truly inseparable for almost a year. it really really sucks when you are into something wonderful and one day all the dreams you had together evaporate with a sharp, loud pop....
Jadey Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 I know how you all feel, It's been 6 months for me also but i don't think we will ever heal fully until we wake up, smell the coffee, and realise the chances of us ever getting back with our exes are pretty slim. And so what if we did? What has happened for the problem in the relationship to not crop up again? We split with our exes for a reason, even if we do not know what the reason is, they do!! There's nothing we can say or do that will make them love us and come back anyway, wyou can't make somebody love you if they don't. What can we do to accept it? Just accept it! That's all we can do. Sure it's really hard but if we don't try our hardest to accept it we will forever be in this prison of our thoughts Get out, go see friends, take up new hobbies, just try and take your mind off your ex as best as you can. Esier said than done of course, what isn't? But we can do this I think part of my problem is that we have remained in contact brooke, please do NC!! Pleaaasssreeeee. I believe until we do full NC we will never heal Just my 2 cents worth
Geoffrey Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 i am a professional writer by trade and i have been writing about this girl and how we met, fell in love, etc....it has helped me to put things in perspective....i sometimes cry when i do it, but hey, i always feel better a little later on....it is the story of us...here's a little example.... I was quickly captivated by her beautiful brown eyes, like two tidal pools with little piles of sticks gently floating in them. Her dark hair, shoulder length, spinning lazily in the moving currents of autumn air that passed over and beneath us. Her voice, a little on the deep side for a woman her size, her hands, the aquamarine ring on her finger that I at first mistook for some sort of commitment ring, but in fact was a gift from her mother. The way she looked me in the eye when she spoke to me, sitting across from me at the picnic table, the way she rested one of those soft, tiny hands on mine (the one with the ring on it, it caught the colors of the sunshine in the late afternoon) when she made a point in her conversation she wanted me to remember. Her French manicure, little slivers of white at the terminus of her delicate fingers. Her sweet smile, with little, square teeth that showed when her mouth curved up gently at either end. Her slender body, with soft, medium sized breasts, like two ripe grapefruits, moved gently when she spoke. I can tell there was much that was crowding her mind, for a troubled countenance reveals much. The smooth, rolling curve of her hips that was to become one of my favorite physical features, a nice, round bottom that made yet another pleasing curve, eventually gliding down to her legs and ending finally with her size 7 feet, a nice feminine contrast to my size 10-1/2s. She always told me she liked the shape of my feet, the curve of my arch, the sturdy, masculine toes that kept me teetering on the brink of disaster with every step that I took.
sick of it Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 I often wonder if they are happy out there knowing what they have done, and how much they have hurt us. If they really loved us they have tohave some kind of knwledge of the pain they have instilled upon us. My answer to this is some of them are happy with the pain they caused. Some of them take pride in knowing they have power over you. That they are able to cause this type of change and chaos in someones life. Its a psychological thing...some sort of need for power which they dont necessarily know about. Chances are its a control thing that they do naturally (which is why they wouldve caused the breakup anyway, they ahve control). Many of them are not happy about the pain they caused. If the person you were dating is a compassionate person, they would cry with you. It is exteremly hard to watch someone in so much pain and not do anything about it. Some breakup while they still love you and its a wake-up call, a check to see how you feel. Some are serious about it. The emotions that you show just arent within them for them to show you. Keep in mind though please, that they do this because they dont love you anymore. And though you expect them to, like you expect to hear "i love you" when you say it to them, they cant and wont anymore and therefore cant and wont cry with you (if their not compassionate and cant empathize) A compassionate person will be easy with the news, talk to you, do what they can and be willing to help you. The key is to never let it get this far. Honesty is the only way. Communication. if these two tools are used, youll never have the "i dont love you anymore" talk out of the blue. How they handle the breakup describes the kind of person they are. I asked for a breka with my ex 3 years ago. I brought it up but didnt go through with it. i saw how she reacted and knew she wanted to make it better. i didnt want to let her go either. Sometimes you need a break to get things back in check. My ex broke up with me after not seeing me for a while, we were away at school. she wanted to go on a break. a break (to me) means with the goal of getting back together (when offered by the dumper). As the dumpee i dd a lot of searching and realized how much i truly loved her and how (though neither of us had tried) i wasnt their for her that much over the past 6 months. however, she didnt wnat to let me show her that and moved on. the break was to make her feel better about moving on...it gave her a chance to see someone else and set up a relationship before ditching me. the way she handled it described how she was. i digress. I still think about her everyday. i dont hate her. i hate what she did. i the pain that was caused. i dont hate her. i will always love her and will always want another chance with her because i knew what i needed to change within my self. what i have for her is true love...unconditional, blind. memories mean just as much as future and present. i care, love, respect her (as a person, not for what she did). the pain is ongoing because shes with someone else and the love that i have, isnt reciprocated. i can imagine loving someone else. but i cant imagine loving someone like this. but until you face what they did to you, you will not be able to want to move on. thats the key. you have to want to stop worshipping them. you have to stop wanting to have them back. you must become indifferent to it..not caring either way. miss them like a friend you havent seen. thats it. thats all you can do. if and when they come back, you can share memories with them. but going through them in your head the way ive been doing and the way certainly are keeps everything fresh. Dont let anyone fool you. This is the greatest pain a human can go through. This is even worse then the death of a loved one. when someone dies, there is this unknown as to where they are, but (if you have these beliefs) you know theyre at peace, watching over you. theyre gone, but theyre not gone. there is a sense of comfort knowing where they are. you understand that they did not choose to leave, but where they went is exponentially better than here on earth. with the pain we're experiencing, they choose to leave. with this departure does not come uncertainty or comfort for you, but anger, jealousy, sadness, greed, hate, longing, guilt, hope. youll forever think there was something you could do, but whats worse, you still believe there is something you CAN do. death doesnt offer you that second part and therefore youre never fighting the hope. in death. it allows us to let go slightly easier (im not saying that death is easier...but go with me). hope is what keeps us going through this. This is the first time ive started responding to LS posts/. I hope its because ive gained something. i hope its because ive learned to let go and hope for the best. hope that the best is waiting for me. for all of us. we all have the right to be sad. hurt. angry. hungry...every feeling you can imagine. you choose to get out of it. it relly is up to you. easier said then done. i know. seven months is very long to sit and wallow. 7 months is a long time to cry. 7 months is a long time to hope. maybe ill make it 8....i dont know. if you feel the way you do, and its genuine feeling. you were honest about loving someone. that i believe is one of the greatest traits a human can have.
Jadey Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Maybe it will just take time, but I can't really use past breakups as a template for this one, so I have no idea how long it will take. But, this is where the peacefulness comes in: lately, I've been feeling like maybe that's okay, and there's no need to rush myself through the process. It will take how long it takes. I can't make myself suddenly not feel anything. It is what it is, and meanwhile, I'm just trying to live my life. That is great Sooo true. Why should we rush anything? Grieving takes time, and it is different for everybody, there is no set time limit in grieving, and grieving is what we are dong. Nobody is going to say "ok it's been 5 months you have to STOP thinking and longing for your ex now." And if they do well they are stupid and f*** em!
slubberdegullion Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 I know how you all feel, It's been 6 months for me also but i don't think we will ever heal fully until we wake up, smell the coffee, and realise the chances of us ever getting back with our exes are pretty slim. And so what if we did? What has happened for the problem in the relationship to not crop up again? We split with our exes for a reason, even if we do not know what the reason is, they do!! There's nothing we can say or do that will make them love us and come back anyway, wyou can't make somebody love you if they don't. What can we do to accept it? Just accept it! That's all we can do. Sure it's really hard but if we don't try our hardest to accept it we will forever be in this prison of our thoughts Get out, go see friends, take up new hobbies, just try and take your mind off your ex as best as you can. Esier said than done of course, what isn't? But we can do this brooke, please do NC!! Pleaaasssreeeee. I believe until we do full NC we will never heal There is much wisdom here. Brooke, sweetie, what you're experiencing is normal. Some days will be better than others, so honour the feelings you have and remain in control of them. Remember that our emotions, while intensely powerful at times, exist to serve us, not the other way around. Be strong. You're going to be fine.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 3, 2006 Author Posted January 3, 2006 Thanks every one for putting your input! as long as each post was- i read everything! brooke- how old are you we might be the same age! everyone had great advice- and great storys here, i kept thinking every car i heard outside was his- or a moped- I just can't deal with the memories-...... i have kept busy- with a job, but those memories come and get me every day- I just can't beleive 2 1/2 years have gone by so quickly- i can't believe its all gone- it hurts so bad that after we broke up a week later he found some one new and still hasn't cheaked up on me- some people are just really cruel- I can't listen to any of the same music- they all give me the worst heart ache- i constantly analyze every song i here and realize dang they went through the same thing- i look at everything so much deeper now- and I'm growing up- im begining to feel what life is really like-\ hahah nysnce would be perfect to listen to and spice girls- or britney spears! And yeah to get over a loved one- that doesn't take 6 months- i think the first 6 months are the shocking stage- i dont know its all different for everyone- but good luck!!!!
Delicaterose00 Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Honey your so not alone. Its been almost 8 months for me now... and I feel like the shock is over, now its just getting certain memories out of the head. They say for every 2 years, its takes a year to heal, but well see. lmao. I guess more than anything, Im just jelous he has someone else, the girl he cheatedon me with, if he was not with her or with someone else, I wouldnt feel totally as bad, but he is happy and Im not and that is what bothers me. But guess what, when your real love comes, I mean, think of the love you had for your ex multiplied by 100!!! I am 24, and sometimes I think the love I had for my ex I truely wont find again, but then again, if he was not the one, and there is "' the one" still out there, I cant imgine the love Ill feel. I have to say I have had 3 major relationships, all lasting around 2 years.. from the age of 17 to 23.. and each one I always said I loved more.... and I bet your bottom dollar I will love the next one even more and so will you!!!!! Love hurts, but oh it feels so good too dont it? We have to feel pain to earn the love we deserve. We learn each time more of what we want and what we need, and youll be suprised at how much you do learn... what to look out for, when there are signs, good or bad, youll notice them this time. ya know? I still think of the ex every day, but not all day anymore.. just here and there, but its not on my mind 24 hours a day, I even go to bed some nights and not think of him, but thats not a lot. lmao ~ But how exciting to to think about what your next boyfriend will look like, how youll get to have those butterflies again and experiance beginning love all over again, I mean some people would love to know what that feels like again, but guess what, we have all the chances we want!! We get to chose now, we get to set the rules and say, hey, your not good enough and I know that now... I mean we get to select what we know we need now... I think we get to reep the benifits from this and learn, our ex's didnt learn... they are the same peoppe, just with different girl, but think of how you have grown being alone this whole time! Think of how happy you will be one day... because u will even though its hard, yes, even for me, still sucks, but this is a new year, and now Im thinking for me. Im doing stuff I coudnt or wouldnt do with my ex becaue I was to worried about him and his dreams I didnt follow mine.. now I can.. follow yours sweetie..
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 3, 2006 Author Posted January 3, 2006 WOW that post helped me alot!- and im sure everyone else who reads it, it will help them to! I think what also gets me through is, exactly what you said" dreaming of whos next", and how different they will be-I am so excited for that, but its like i want to rush to that-----but than it wouldent be worth it- because you have to work hard to get some where- and when i feel the pain- and the memories- i will think of the stuff you said and i will know that i will be happy again like that- or even more! I coulden't even think of loving even more- the way i loved this guy- but i believe everything you say- Because i have so much love to give- wow I hope my next relationshp is not a push and pull- but is a give and take- and equal- i will appreciate all the pain i felt- when it is over- Because it is helping me learn- helping me get back on my feet again-
Delicaterose00 Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Hi hun, I am happy I could help you. It helps me to read your posts though to because I realize Im not alone.. by the way, how old are you? The other thing I would like to mention is.. you had said you hope you dont find another relationship that is push and pulll or whatever you said.. but here is the best part. You have seen and realized that even though we wanted to die, thought we were going to die and our world was over, we are seeing that its not, and that right now, we dont want to die!!!! Therefore, when we meet someone else next time,( like the last 3 guys I have, who by the way, are all kicked to the curb, ) we see that we can live without them, we will be ok... and that we dont have to stay in a bad relationship anymore because we are scared of being alone or what not. We now know we are strong and can leave whenever we want!!! Sure I woudl rather now find mr. right, but Im so happy to know I have the power to say, hey your treating me bad, and I dont have to deal with it.... bye! Let me tell you hun, all but 1 of them came running back, but by then I didnt want them anymore, its like.. oh man, if you were really great, you would have bee that by now... just have fun honey... I want you to listen to Carey Underwood " before he cheats" download it.. unless you have heard it.. it will make you laugh, but it also makes me wish I did that to my ex. lmao.... well hun, know tonight ur not the only one with a frown on the face, but at the same time, just think of all the freedom of choosing you have, you are now in control... show this guy when you see him ( at school I think you said) that you are beautiful and no one will bring you down... smile, laugh, show your confidence and and your ability to move, shock the **** out of him, maybe when you see him in the halls, dont sulk and let him see you upset, wink at him and smile, he wont know what the hell to think or do, even if he is over you, hell be like... " what? She isnt crying over me anymore? I dont have my hold on her anymore?:" Oh ya.. girl, you must shine!!!!!!!!
brooke7777 Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Brittanyjean...I am 23. I've been trying to keep busy too with work and whatever, but sometimes it's just hard. It just feels like the whole world is crashing down. I feel like I don't have that one person who I truly had a special bond with anymore. My ex was my best friend as well as my boyfriend. It was weird, I had never had a connection with someone like that before, not even with any of my friends. And that's a hard thing to let go of. There are so many times when I just want to call him up and tell him something dumb and now I can't...now I have no one to share those stupid little things that I know he would have listened to. I feel like I'll never find that bond with anyone again. And I guess part of me doesn't want that bond with anyone else but him...back to that whole accepting thing. I guess I still cannot accept it. I've had other long term relationships...I had a real devastating one in high school, but nothing like this one. This one has truly torn me apart. And what drives me crazy is that people say oh you are so young you have so much life to live and you'll find someone else in no time. Well, I just kind of feel like yes I know I'm young, but I had my whole life roughly planned. I never thought I would be with anyone else in my life and it seemed like he felt the same way right until the very end. And that's what stings. How can someone just pretend like everything is perfect and then all of the sudden let go? I'm definitely not ready to be with anyone else yet. I can't even get myself to feel excitement for a future relationship. I had what I wanted and now its gone. I'm having a rough day today if you can't tell. Sorry for rambling and ranting. We're all gonna make it, though.
Delicaterose00 Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Girl you need to read my last 2 posts to brit.... we will survive!
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 4, 2006 Author Posted January 4, 2006 Well i am 17 ( almost 18) was with this person since i was 14- he droped out his sophmore year- so I can't see him- and its werid because it feels like he died- its not the typical see him in the hall ways and wisper to my friends- Its just boom bang gone- thanks so much for helping me- its just my first love- my first time- and theY SAy nothing hurts like your first loves! I will defiently survive but the thing im learning about life is- you make your mistakes- and have your regrets- and you will have memories- im realizing now( since this is the year i graduate in) that things change- friends-and everything and i just have this big old heart ache of him- old friends- my regrets- and this is finally me growing up- the best thing about first loves is, your so young! so wild- sneaking out of the house- meeting half way and thats all i can think about- but after 2 years- its like there was nothing there any more- he even said it him self we were trying to keep something there that wasn't so either way its a lose lose situation- i love how much spirit you have in you! and how upbeat you are about me getting over this- that helps so much---------- but there are different stages- and the first week was like oh no i don't ever want to see him and his new gf------now its like its gone- everything hes really gone- so werid ! but i am pumped for the next boy and hope i can feel LOVE again witch im sure i will THANK you girl! brook ill read your post in a second lol
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 4, 2006 Author Posted January 4, 2006 I don't mind you ranting- its interesting to read- because people tell my i am soo young well i am very young- but this is all i new since i was 14? I never imagined my self with any one else- i never saw this coming- i always told my self that if this ever happen i would die- and that does sting- i know exactly what you meen- you feel like the world is crashing- and you just don't feel right at all-and i guess thats why they call it heart break- you never know how it feels till it happens to you- and it is very undescribeable I CANT EVEN LISTEN TO MY FAVORIT MUSIC- they give me too much emotion that i am still afraid to feel- but maybe this happens so we can get to the next one! I stayed home today- i coulden't sleep at all last night- i kept going over things- anaylyzing them- i pretend hes there sometimes and think of mean things to say- i think of some cute things and i laugh to myself- i think if he ever contacted me I might collapse lol the dreams have been coming back again- and when you wake up its the worse- but have faith in things will get better- Im trying to! as she said we are defiently not alone:)
JS17 Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 When it comes to emotional intelligence you are the brightest 17 year old I have ever come across. The insight that you have at your age most of us don't learn until much later in life and some not at all. You should take pride in that and know that it will bring you what you want in the future. My mom was in a relationship from 13-16 years old. He broke up with her, she was devastated. She met my dad when she was 17. That guy breaking up with her was the best thing that ever happened to her. My sister dated a guy for a few years in high school. She was completely devastated when he broke up with her, about a zillion times worse than you I swear. She went on to have a few more long term relationships and now at 24 is with the guy that she'll probably marry. I strongly believe that your formative years shape you as an adult. I think that people who start young and go through the highs and lows of love at a young age find what they're looking for early in life. It will take time for you to get over this but you will. Eventually you will look back on this and be glad that you were able to move on to someone so much better for you. 1
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 4, 2006 Author Posted January 4, 2006 i love when people say things- that i know inside but never could explain to in words- thank you! everything everyone goes through- develops them in to someone better! its hard to see that now- but it will!
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 4, 2006 Author Posted January 4, 2006 When it comes to emotional intelligence you are the brightest 17 year old I have ever come across. The insight that you have at your age most of us don't learn until much later in life and some not at all. You should take pride in that and know that it will bring you what you want in the future. QUOTE] that was so nice, i guess its good that i am learning young- and i will take pride in that- thank you !!
brooke7777 Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 Brittany...you are definitely one strong 17 year old. You spent most of your teenage years with this man and now he has disappeared. I spent most of my college and grad school years with my ex and now he has disappeared from my life. We both had huge chunks of our lives associated with these guys and it is a heck of a big adjustment to all of a sudden have them gone and erased from our lives. It's so hard to pick up the pieces and just move on right now, but we will get there...eventually. What do you plan on doing after high school? College, working, etc? THat will be a whole new world for you and will provide you with many new opportunities. I have jsut finished grad school and will soon enter the working world so I know that I am going to enter a new stage of my life as well. Part of me wants to just pick up and move now...somewhere far away and warm like California or Florida. To just go somewhere new where no one knows me and I can just start over. But the other part of me says that's jsut running away from everything and my problems will still haunt me wherever I go. Plus...I have no money. Those sleepless nights can be the worst! It's like you can't shut off your brain sometimes. I am a typical virgo, so the overanalyzer in me truly comes out during those sleepless nights. I've had some rough ones lately. I think because I am kind of sitting in limbo and can stay up real late and sleep all day if I want. (I went to school for teaching and I need to wait for some paperwork to come through before I can start my job hunt) I swear I will replay situations in my head over and over from a zillion different angles. All of those "what if" questions also arise. It's crazy.
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