Ezydriver Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 Hi everyone, I was in a 6 month relationship until 17th November, she had lots of emotional baggage and issues (pending divorce, self esteem, depression etc...) I had no such baggage, I've sorted out all the reasons why we broke up and I am now aware that if it had been me on the outside looking in, I know theres no way it was going to work, I am fully aware of why it didn't. Its been nearly 7 weeks since we split and apart from a couple of texts (both at the same time, not on seperate days) and a 15 minute phonecall 3 weeks ago we've had no contact. My problem now though, has changed, I still can't get her out of my head, I miss her style, her feisty flair, our mental and spiritual connection, (which did exist, thats not imagined) I miss her problems, her life, just everything, EVERYTHING still reminds me of her to the point of panic, I'm very depressed and still haven't had a tear free day since the split. Even me being depressed reminds me of her, I feel like her, because she used to suffer from depression, know what I mean? anybody relate to this? I used to bounce back very quick from relationships but this is ENTIRELY different, also, it was my shortest ever relationship, all my others (3) have lasted around 3 years give or take a few months. Regards, Steve.
l13578920001 Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 I does suck, I know am having trouble getting over a girl to. A little advice is to join a gym. If you work out tons than you are to tired to miss her. I know its hard. All I know is that the first thing I did was throw away all her stuff and delete her number from my cell phone.
riobikini Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 Ezy: You just gave the definition of love. And the heartache of breakup. -Rio
JS17 Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 Rio is right. The amount of time that you spend with someone isn't what makes it hard to get over, it's what you invested emotionally into the relationship.
Author Ezydriver Posted January 2, 2006 Author Posted January 2, 2006 I know it sucks I've thrown everything out, got rid of all my clothes etc.. that remind me of her, the strange thing is, I knew she wasn't the one, I never wanted children with her, I knew that I'd be in for an emotional rollercoaster with her, she was very unstable, I think in hindsight I was addicted to the emotional drama, she had the power over me and I suppose I was in awe of that, I looked at her like some goddess, I know that nobody is a goddess and eventually I'll probably look at her and she'll just blend in with every other woman, but I've just found out what it is like to have someone affect me in such a profound way, its like shes still controlling my life, I feel so low and I wish I could just forget, its torture and its been like this for 7 solid weeks now, thats nearly 50 days!! Will it ever get better? sometimes I get worse. I know we'd never work, I knew that while I was with her, I accept this, I'm past the bargainning and denial stages. So why can't I just let go? Intellectually I have, but sentimentally I cant. Regards, Steve.
JS17 Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 You said it yourself. She had control over you. She still does. Take it from someone who has really been there. You need to let her stop controlling your life. People here have said that countless times to me. Keep saying it and eventually it will sink in.
Author Ezydriver Posted January 2, 2006 Author Posted January 2, 2006 Yeah I know, I can't help it, she wasn't really a control freak, but I don't think she wanted to be the one who loved more, she was going through a divorce from an 11 year marriage and she was basically a doormat in that time, so I think she was still damaged and didn't want to get too close etc... its too much to go into and I understand all that and have realised and analysed it all and now know 'why' we broke up, I have found the answers myself (usual story, I got no explanation or closure) she has absolutely no idea how I'm coping or how I am, or how I've been severly affected. So shes not intentionally controling me, for all she knows I may even have another girlfriend. I just cant understand why I'm so hung up on her after all I know and understand and accept. I feel I should be moved on further. but I'm stuck, still daydreaming of her and our good times, still pinning for her terribly, still wishing I could hold her one more time, even though I know I wont and to do so would be torture anyway. I'm all confused. Regards, Steve.
Brittanyjean06 Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 You fell in love with her, of course you will see her as a godess- and maybe you were a little blind- we all are when it comes to love- all you see is the beauty in them- when in reality there really is some one so much better out there for you! i understand when you said" i feel like her", i do stuff, and act stuff out as if i was my ex boyfriend- every one we meet- that happens to touch our hearts- gives us a little bit of them- i think thats really cool though- and strange at the same time- heart ache sucks so bad-and it isn't the time at all- you can break up with someone after 1 year( and it would have been harder to end it than, than it would have been being with them for 3 years) don't mess with someone who has emotional baggage- you are there for comfort- im sorry your feeling all this pain- I feell you
Author Ezydriver Posted January 2, 2006 Author Posted January 2, 2006 You're right, I was just part of her own warped and selfish experiment to see if she could attract a man enough for him to fall in love with her, she yearned for this, but ironically, if they didn't show it, she became more insecure and craved it, she was like this for 11 years in her marriage, her ex husband was terrible, absolutely terrible, but I was so loving, supportive, caring, empathetic, you name it, I was it, plus I'm 6 feet tall, dark and (so I've been told) handsome too. I've always been told I'm one of those 1 in a million type men, like gold dust, but it always seems the ones I like most are the ones that lose interest eventually, strange that. Deep down I know I'll get there, but boy its taking 2 or 3 times longer than I thought. Also, I haven't felt any anger at her yet, I want to, but cant, its not in my nature. Steve.
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