JCA Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 I just found out that my girlfriend of 4 months is taking Zoloft. She is 38 and I am 44 so we're not kids. Shouldn't I have been told this? I have done some general background searching on this drug and it doesn't seem like too big of a deal...but still. Interestingly, last night at a small gathering she said, "I'm not on meds" when her cousin said she was proud to be the only one in the family not on meds.
Casch Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 She is probably just embarrassed that she needs to be on the medication, and doesn't want the whole world to know. You've only been together for 4 months, so maybe she just didn't feel comfortable sharing that with you yet? Maybe she was worried that you would think she was mentally and emotionally unstable, and you'd turn tail and run? Who knows? In my opinion, it's not really a big deal that she didn't tell you. Did you ask?
Author JCA Posted January 2, 2006 Author Posted January 2, 2006 Nope, didn't ask...yet. And I may just wait for her to tell me. But the funny thing is that whatever she tells me, I don't have major reactions. It's just another thing to me. I guess to me it's not that big of a deal but I was wondering if others may think this is (or should be) a big deal.
Casch Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 You've definately got me beat on age and experience, I'm only 21, but I don't think it should be a big deal. Her prescriptions are her business, and I wouldn't ask her about it unless it's really bothering you. I would say don't ask at all, but if it's bothering you, it might effect the relationship. Best bet is just to let her tell you if/when it comes up in conversation naturally. She really might just be self-conscious about having to be on the meds
Outcast Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 There are still a lot of throwbacks who think depression is a character flaw and that only fools and wimps get medicine for the illness. So she's very wise to keep her meds situation to herself, IMHO. Would you tell her if you were using hemorrhoid cream?
Art_Critic Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 I come from the other side.. I ask the question if they are on any antidepressants early on in the dating game.. I was married to woman who was bipolar so because of the past I run from anyone that has that history. When I was first divorced it was more important to me than it is today.. but even today my bipolar ex is still in the back of my head.. The acts of violence never seem to truly fade and are alway's there guiding me..
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 Art, I'm sorry you had to go through the painful process of loving someone who is bi-polar. That's a tough one. As you know, manic depression and bi-polar diseases are much more difficult to control with medication than some other mental illnesses. Clinical depression is much more common, and luckily much easier to manage with simple SSRI meds. I know many people, including myself, who have clinical depression....many of them you would never know they have depression. Thank God for modern medication. I just hope that someday the stigma surrounding mental illness will go away, and that people will understand that it is not a character flaw, but a common disease...just as high blood pressure, diabetes and arthritis.
Fun2BMe Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 A few years ago I took Zoloft ( I don't take anything now, the side-effects were bad for me even though they did benefit my behavior a lot). I was ashamed of it and kept it a secret from my then boyfriend. I would hide the individual pills in the pocket of my purse to take if I stayed at his house and hid them at my house. If I took them again I would be more open about it, but it was my first time taking such pills and I didn't want others to know about it, they would assume I was crazy, but it's more acceptable these days. Don't give her a hard time about it and respect her privacy concerning the whole thing. It's a very personal thing and she might be insecure and ashamed about it, just like her cousin bragging to be the only one not on meds. Plus, you've been together for only four months and if it's something she's not comfortable with herself for taking - didn't admit it to the cousin - she is not going to feel ready telling you about it just yet.
brashgal Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Interestingly, last night at a small gathering she said, "I'm not on meds" when her cousin said she was proud to be the only one in the family not on meds. I think this says it all, she's conflicted about being on meds. Zoloft is one of the first anti-depressants many doctors prescribe (according to two of my doctors anyway). As long as they work for her and she feels she needs them to function - all is good.
curiousnycgirl Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 She could be carrying baggage from her family that says meds are bad - otherwise her cousin's comment is just weird! I'm on Zoloft for anxiety and it never dawned on me to tell my b/f when we started dating. I guess he must have asked me what it was and I told him. When he asked why I told him it prevented me from spontaneously breaking into tears for no apparent reason - which is what was happening before I started taking them. Guess he decided a little yellow pill beats tears any day of the week!
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