Author confused _one Posted January 3, 2006 Author Posted January 3, 2006 I wonder just had a conversation with my mom about the whole ordeal anyways she thinks that since he does want it he will get it but behind my back.
nicki Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Yeah, Confused One, I agree. It's a cheap way for guys to try to be with other women. And with their girlfriends "consent." I also agree with the poster who said that the asking alone harms the relationship. Exactly. Keep that fantasy quiet, guys. Once you ask, we will never feel we are enough woman for you. ouch....ego crusher... I was worried that my boyfriend would go behind my back and do it, too. Or worse, that he would take any woman up on an offer to sleep with her. He didn't, but it's natural to worry given a threesome request. I think you will get your confidence back. He asked. You just need to say no. He needs to respect that. See how he treats you. You are plenty of woman for him. You don't need to prove anything. The secret to having great sex is being comfortable and having fun.
Citizen Erased Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 My boyfriend has asked me the same thing, and after considering it for a while, I agreed. We didn't do it cos i was seriously reconsidering it and I just told him no. He was disappointed but he got over it. You need to tell him straight forward NO! You are obviously not comfortable with sharing your man with anyone else and so tell him to either respect your decision or get out! I agree with everyuone else, suggest he do it with another guy. He will back down faster than you can say No! If he really does get annoyed, sit him down in front of the computer, download some cheap nasty lesbian porn and tell him this is all the female-on-female love he will be getting from you!
dnm1010 Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 first of all if ure hesitating at all then he should see that and not LET you do that. i personally wouldnt want my fiance to sleep with any other women, but even if i wanted a threesom (which i dont LOL) if he hesitated then i would say no because i would see he doesnt really watn it.. relationships involve comrpomises but having sex wtih another woman (which i believe is involved in a threesome) and him at the same time is not the same... anf you should realize that if u do it once he might want it again.. or might want to go beyond that.. lets say u do it and then he wants more of it or other things... and u decide thats enough and break up with him.. how will u feel about doing it in the first place? will u regret it? dont do it if ure not 100% ok with it.
Author confused _one Posted January 3, 2006 Author Posted January 3, 2006 Yeah it has really made my loose my confidence. I dont know how im gonna get it back just hoping that I wont feel like im not enough when im in bed with him, and that thinking of him wanting a threesome doesnt come to my mind and ruin everything. Your all right asking your girlfriend for it makes her feel very insecure and not valued. What is wrong with some men I just dont get it. Why ask. Just hope that I can get over his request and that hell never bring it up. My confidence is so low right now this is the second time hes asked me sigh. Im not up to sharing my man and if he still wants it he can find a girl who will that doesnt come with a dedicated loving relationship.
Lifestream Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Ok, I'm 18 as well, but don't blame your age or your shyness. The best advice I can give is to trust your gut feeling. You're right, this isn't about love, this isn't about him understanding your needs as a couple. This is complete and utter sexual gratification that he's seeking and I know you understand that. Here are a few questions I would ask myself if my ex ever asked for a threesome. 1) Am I not enough for her? 2) Does she want to continue to build at our relationship or does she just want sexual satisfaction? That sounds a little weird coming from a teenage guy but to be totally honest, he's trying to pull the wool over your eyes. He's using a blatant cop-out when he tells you he wants you to get over your shyness. Since when has having a shred of morality and a hint of ethics made someone shy?? I'd dump his ass and let him find another girl he can lie straight in the face to.
Author confused _one Posted January 3, 2006 Author Posted January 3, 2006 Well ive asked myself that many many many many more than i can count times ive talked it over with him. He said that if I wasnt confortable with it he wouldnt do it he left the ball in my court so the answer is not to his whole threesome idea. He does want to and wants me to move in July with him. Anyways im still confused im hoping things will just work itself out. Ugh Im more confused than ever now. I think i need a shrink lol.
Author confused _one Posted January 3, 2006 Author Posted January 3, 2006 I just really dont know what to think anymore
Lifestream Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Someone asked me if I was a shrink on another msg board lol. But I'll add some information from this book I read a while back. It was by Dr. Drew Pinsky, host of Loveline. It was called: The Dr. Drew and Adam Book: A Survival Guide to Life and Love." They touch on quite a few subjects, including threesomes...I'll post some references in a bit...
Blackard Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Honey, I don't know how old you are - you sound young - but YOU ARE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO DO ANYTHING. That is point one. If this would make you feel cheap, then it is not something to even consider. Point two is, that although people may think this sort of thing is "fun", bringing a third person into a relationship NEVER works out. Its sort of "everyman's fantasy" to have two girls. As a fling, yeah, fun, but with a person that one is involved in a relationship with? no.
Author confused _one Posted January 3, 2006 Author Posted January 3, 2006 Ive been trying to figure things out he used my dedication to him as a way to try to encorperate other things like I threesome. I think what was going though his head was if she loves me that much as she said shed do anything for me. These days things have been going so downhill and I just dont know what to do. Since when ever is sexual gradification ever come before love. Seem like the love has been totally drained im at the end of my rope. I dont feel loved anymore by him it seems like its just about the sex now. I dont know why Im feeling so cold to him now but I am. I feel so far away from him I was thinking to myself if I had a choice between taking one step toward him or away from him I think I would be taking a step back. Sigh I just dont know what to do I care for him so much but just feel like all the love is gone that its been somehow sucked out of our relationship.
Fun2BMe Posted January 4, 2006 Posted January 4, 2006 I think you have to take a step back and think things through. Imagine if you had gone through with it? I'm glad you were strong enough to stick up for how you felt. The longer you're in a relationship, especially if it's sexual, you get "stuck" to the person and put up with a lot, so take this time to think if he REALLY loves you and puts you before sex...it's good it came out sooner than later at least.
Author confused _one Posted January 4, 2006 Author Posted January 4, 2006 Yeah I know I sent him an email telling him about it just hope that everything will go back to the way it used to be anyways your all so helpful. I guess I just need to talk to him and sort my head out.
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