I thought I found a perfect man

[livingalife2009]

After chatting on a dating app on and off for about 2 months, I finally agreed to meet this guy who turned out to be my perfect guy in bed. :) I’m almost 50 and he’s 10 years younger, he is cute and sweet and I was horny. We had sex that night and I love every moment of it.

I’m ok with either direction the relationship might go. He’s serious and mades it clear that he wants a relationship with me. I’m ok with that, but I am a bit frustrated that he doesn’t flirt, instead, only talks about serious stuff. When I asked why he would not flirt he said he wanted to build what we had. 
I would like to continue flirting but I’m  afraid he might think I was all about sex. I want him to know that I respect him and that I’m serious about knowing him at a deeper level. What do I do?
 

 

[FredEire]

4 minutes ago, livingalife2009 said:

After chatting on a dating app on and off for about 2 months, I finally agreed to meet this guy who turned out to be my perfect guy in bed. I’m almost 50 and he’s 10 years younger, he is cute and sweet and I was horny. We had sex that night and I love every moment of it.

I’m ok with either direction the relationship might go. He’s serious and mades it clear that he wants a relationship with me. I’m ok with that, but I am a bit frustrated that he doesn’t flirt, instead, only talks about serious stuff. When I asked why he would not flirt he said he wanted to build what we had. 
I would like to continue flirting but I’m  afraid he might think I was all about sex. I want him to know that I respect him and that I’m serious about knowing him at a deeper level. What do I do?
 

 

I think the answer is simple, tell him! Or rather you can just ask what he's looking for and see how that goes.

If he's looking for something more serious less overt flirting and more serious conversation is a good indicator that that's how he feels as well.

If you're truly happy with a pure FWB or it progressing then there's nothing to lose really. Open communication is always a good idea to avoid getting your wires crossed.

Edited August 13, 2024 by FredEire

[stillafool]

Is flirting your love language?  IDK if the sex if great I don't think I'd need the flirting.  He may want to have serious conversations to find out more about you before he offers a relationship, which to me is a good thing.  So many guys are in it just for the sex. Maybe he wants to be sure that's not all you are interested in.

[Gaeta]

What do you mean by flirting? Do you mean he stopped giving you compliments?

[Sony12]

Most guys who have sex with older women on the first date usually are just looking for sex. Don't get too carried away with anything he says because chances are he's just saying what he thinks you want to hear.

Just enjoy it while it lasts. Chances are it's going to be a short term thing and once you have had sex a few times one or both of you will begin losing interest.

[Lotsgoingon]

Yes, ditto Gaeta, what exactly do you mean by flirting?

 

[Sony12]

A good rule of thumb in these types of situations is to show me. Don't tell me. Many guys know that women want more out of a dating situation than just sex so they will often tell her they are looking for a relationship.

The TC does need to clarify what she means by not flirting but if you two have been talking for months now and he still isn't flirting that does indicate a lack of interest.

[basil67]

I'm also wondering what you mean by flirting....

Also, a lot of men aren't flirty by nature.  They may be kind and complimentary, but they just can't do that twinkle in the eye thing

Edited August 13, 2024 by basil67

[smackie9]

If you are not concerned about which direction this would go, then just keep flirting...I have never heard that flirting would ruin chances for a relationship TBH.