mopar crazy Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 I'm pretty much over the A, well still hurts when I think about it so I don't think about it, or at least try not to. I forgave H, and even the exOW (even though I can't stand her) and I am going on w/ my life. It just feels like a bad dream, the A. My H bought several things to replace the things I took during our separation. We took his MW cart downstairs. I knew he had trash bags in the drawer so I go to get one and there is a recipe from the exOW in the drawer. It's her handwriting so I know it's from her. Do ya think I should make the recipe and not say anything and see what he does? LMBO! He probably wont even remember. 1
brashgal Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 Is it something you normally would not cook? Does it sound like it would be good? You'll probably get all kinds of compliments from him. Depends how you feel about it. Would it upset you further? Are you going to tell him where you got the recipe from? Might be better to just rip it up and throw it away.
Author mopar crazy Posted January 2, 2006 Author Posted January 2, 2006 Is it something you normally would not cook? Does it sound like it would be good? You'll probably get all kinds of compliments from him. Depends how you feel about it. Would it upset you further? Are you going to tell him where you got the recipe from? Might be better to just rip it up and throw it away. No, it's not something I would usually cook. I don't like sausage all that well so I don't know if I would eat it but I remember how H mentioned her making good saugage balls. This was months after we got back 2gether. I wasn't really offended, I guess I just didn't like the fact he brought her name up. I can laugh about finding this so it's not a real big deal. I just found it funny that I found it and thought I should make it and see what he says. I wish I wouldn't have found it b/c it brought her back in my mind, but I am not extremely upset about it.
Art_Critic Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 Throw it away... It isn't a memory to him.. only to you
Author mopar crazy Posted January 2, 2006 Author Posted January 2, 2006 Throw it away... It isn't a memory to him.. only to you Thanks AC, I will throw it away.
EMJ Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 Tyring to piss him off or just showing that you too can be sneaky? Stop trying to throw his mistake in his face if you really want to make things better. This action is just silly and immature.
Author mopar crazy Posted January 2, 2006 Author Posted January 2, 2006 Tyring to piss him off or just showing that you too can be sneaky? Stop trying to throw his mistake in his face if you really want to make things better. This action is just silly and immature. No EMJ, I am not try to piss him off, that was never my intentions. I just thought since he raved out good they were I would try and make them for him but decided not to the more I thought about it. Why would I want to make her recipe. I was just trying to make light of it instead of being upset that I found it. And OMGOSH you're calling ME immature!? How mature is it to have an A w/ a MM and on top of it think nothings wrong w/ it b/c he is persuing you. Did you really have to ask if it was a good plan? You should of alreayd known the answers to that one. Let me guess, your not going to listen to any of the advice you were given and meet this guy and sleep w/ him anyhow. Guess it's real mature to plan on sleeping w/ another woman's H huh?
jmargel Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 If you make him that dish, he'll just start thinking about the OW. Let sleeping dogs lie. Throw it away.
EMJ Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 You can say crazy things, think crazy thoughts, and then watch a whole bunch of strangers just jump all over you because of it-lol! It didn't mean to be so harsh before, but there is no evening of the score, ever. You really have to put the entire thing, recipes and all, behind you and don't bring it up. Don't think of her. Don't mention her, and don't worry about it. You have a chance for a clean start. You might want to keep it that way!
Author mopar crazy Posted January 3, 2006 Author Posted January 3, 2006 You can say crazy things, think crazy thoughts, and then watch a whole bunch of strangers just jump all over you because of it-lol! It didn't mean to be so harsh before, but there is no evening of the score, ever. You really have to put the entire thing, recipes and all, behind you and don't bring it up. Don't think of her. Don't mention her, and don't worry about it. You have a chance for a clean start. You might want to keep it that way! Thanks Jmargel, it's already in the trash, and ready to be taken out to the burn barrel and burned w/ the rest of the trash. EMJ, I agree, but if anyone needs to have a clean start w/ this M it's my H. He was the one that dirtied the M by sleeping w/ her, I did nothing wrong. If you didn't mean to be so harsh b4 then I do apologize for jumping down your throat. Just kind of ticked me off I guess. Here I was trying to make light of the situation instead of getting all upset that I found her recipe in the drawer and I felt like you were being harsh.
EMJ Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 I'm on your side always. Just wanted you to protect yourself from additional unecessary pain. It's hard to tell if people are being sarcastic or just clueless through this e-mail posting route. I can't always see on the other side of the screen! Anyway, take care of yourself & your marriage, if it's a good one it's worth fighting for!
StrivingtoSucceed Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Hi Mopar! I have been away for a week and thought I would see how you were doing. Glad to see you threw it away. I probably would have debated like you did whether or not to make it. Not to throw it in his face, but I guess to show that I could make good sausage balls too. I doubt he would have known it was hers and honestly, like Art Critic said, it is only a memory to you, not him. He wouldn't have thought anything of it at all, while it would have bothered you b/c you would be wondering what he was thinking and if tasting it reminded him of her and just wasn't telling you. Burning it is good. Leaves you with a good feeling of it being over.
Author mopar crazy Posted January 6, 2006 Author Posted January 6, 2006 Hi Mopar! I have been away for a week and thought I would see how you were doing. Glad to see you threw it away. I probably would have debated like you did whether or not to make it. Not to throw it in his face, but I guess to show that I could make good sausage balls too. I doubt he would have known it was hers and honestly, like Art Critic said, it is only a memory to you, not him. He wouldn't have thought anything of it at all, while it would have bothered you b/c you would be wondering what he was thinking and if tasting it reminded him of her and just wasn't telling you. Burning it is good. Leaves you with a good feeling of it being over. Hey Striving! How are you? Haven't seen you around in awhile. How are you doing? I'm doing pretty good. The A seems like a bad dream, like it almost never happened. But if I start thinking about it I get more pissed than hurt, so I try not to think of it. It use to be giving advice here would bring up the painful past of the A but now it's not so bad anymore. Hope things are getting better for you, or at least a little easier as time passes.
StrivingtoSucceed Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 MC - Things have been pretty busy at work and home, just the time of year for me. Things are going good, really good, but like you, sometimes something just crops up unexpectedly that throws you back into those thoughts. Of course, he doesn't get thrown back into them, just you. And, I think your thought that you get more pissed than hurt is right on. At this point the hurt, while there, is less and less. But the anger at what in the h*** were they thinking is right on the top of things.
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