lynnf Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 As many of you, I too can not seem to find the emotional strenght to get over who I thought was "the one". I have know he is not the one for a very long time, but can sadly and pathectically can not let go of him. When he persued me years ago I was so entrigued by his irresistable charm, intelligence and impressive success. A dream come true, right?? What girl wouldn't be swept off their feet with a guy like that?..and I was. Until after awhile, I began to notice he did not even take me out anyhere...not to a nice dinner, a night out....absulutely nothing. But we kept seeing each other..and when I mean seeing eavh other...believe me all that meant was seeing each other naked...and at his convienece. I know you ask, "why keep seeing someone that did not care about you in the least?" and you are right to ask that.I ask myself that all the time. Sadly, I feel victim to the great sex syndome. I am sure we have all been there at some point. I thought I could handle it, I was totally lying to myself. I was already emotional attached to the situation. What even worse that has kept me so attached is...he has this amazing and devistating charm that makes me feel like I am the only woman for him and there could be no one else. Well, I soon found out I was not the only woman he was making feel that way too. I have tried in the past to "break the cycle" and just let him go. Ashamedly, I come back. Even worse, I almost chase him. Hoping he will feel the same way as I do.. and I know that is just not true. He could care less if I were in or out of his life or not. Believe me, I know it is pathetic, and hurting myself. I really do. Please, how do I get the emotional strenght to let him go for good, knowing that is the right thing to do and mot look back.
Outcast Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 1. Make a list of all the awful things he ever did or said to you. All the times he forgot you, etc. 2. Read it every time you start thinking of him. DO NOT allow yourself to think about the charm, the whatever, the bla bla bla. Read the list. 3. Make several copies of the list and post them around your home. Carry one in your purse. 4. Keep doing this until you realize that the person you love doesn't exist and never did. You fell for a sham.
Author lynnf Posted January 2, 2006 Author Posted January 2, 2006 Thank you! and you are sooo very right! I never thought about taking note of those things...and there A LOT of awful things he did and did not do to be noted. And yes, I did fall for a sham. A horrible heart breaking sham filled with false hopes and expectations of wasted time for me. It is time I realize the person my heart loved does not exist, atleast not in him. But the one that will love me will exist when the time and person is right. I will start the list right away. Thank You so much! I appreciate the advice and support.
Outcast Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 You can break free. This list thing is a real big help. Humans normally forget bad experiences - I think we're designed to do that so we can continue living after bad things happen to us but in the case of a damaging relationship, we need to remember the bad things so that we won't go back and keep getting hurt.
Author lynnf Posted January 2, 2006 Author Posted January 2, 2006 you are right, I also think as humans we want to, or at least hope to see the better result from a bad situation we are hoping will change. especially in matter of the heart. And I know my heart really can not take it anymore. It has been suffering over this for too long. And it has been nothing but an emotionally damaging relationship for me. I do have to keep reminding myself of all these bad things and truly set myself free of it.
Recommended Posts