JS17 Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Some family and some friends say that I'm too old to get married and have kids. How old is too old? Is there a cut off age for having a normal life?
tinktronik Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Some family and some friends say that I'm too old to get married and have kids. How old is too old? Is there a cut off age for having a normal life? Nope , no cut off age. Normal life here you go. If your past mp obviously you cant have kids , but if not , well thats up to your body.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 I think it is like Tink said unless you are menopausing its never too late!! I do think as you get older can be harder for you cause the older we get we produce less eggs than we did when in puberty and makes it harder to conceive!! I think after a late 30's can be harder on you with the labor and all because you have to have more tests and have the amnio test done!!!
Author JS17 Posted January 1, 2006 Author Posted January 1, 2006 I think women over a certain age that aren't married or divorced or have children are just not considered at all, people think there's something wrong with them. I think it's not PC to say that so I doubt I will get the honest opinions from some people. There's nothing wrong with being a single mom but I don't think it's something I want to knowingly enter into. People keep telling me I'm too old or rapidly approaching the age that is too old. I'm afraid that when my friends all get married and have children I'll have nothing left. My friends are all I have.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 I think women over a certain age that aren't married or divorced or have children are just not considered at all, people think there's something wrong with them. I think it's not PC to say that so I doubt I will get the honest opinions from some people. There's nothing wrong with being a single mom but I don't think it's something I want to knowingly enter into. People keep telling me I'm too old or rapidly approaching the age that is too old. I'm afraid that when my friends all get married and have children I'll have nothing left. My friends are all I have. Being a single mom can be hard im sure but women do it everyday so i don't think it matters single or not you can be a good mom!! JS17 get invetro and then you can have you a baby that way no man will know and never be involved!! I love my daughter and wouldn't take anything for her even though she can be hell on wheels!!! You need to experience it just once !!
loony Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Some family and some friends say that I'm too old to get married and have kids. How old is too old? Is there a cut off age for having a normal life? You are mid-twenties or something, aren't you? They are nuts... I sometimes think I'm still too much on this self-realization trip and a bit too carefree about my future, but I would say, some people should get a life and not drag others down to their own misery.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 You are mid-twenties or something, aren't you? They are nuts... I sometimes think I'm still too much on this self-realization trip and a bit too carefree about my future, but I would say, some people should get a life and not drag others down to their own misery. Definitely Loony!! Do what you want JS17 it is your body if you are ready go for it?
Author JS17 Posted January 1, 2006 Author Posted January 1, 2006 You are mid-twenties or something, aren't you? They are nuts... I sometimes think I'm still too much on this self-realization trip and a bit too carefree about my future, but I would say, some people should get a life and not drag others down to their own misery. I'm 28. Is is that they are dragging me down or is it that they are just being realistic? I bet if you ask men in their 20's and 30's they will tell you that they think there is something wrong with a woman who is single at 30.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 I'm 28. Is is that they are dragging me down or is it that they are just being realistic? I bet if you ask men in their 20's and 30's they will tell you that they think there is something wrong with a woman who is single at 30. Screw them it's your life and when the time is right you will marry and have kids!! i was 25 when i got preggo with daughter and married at 24 and had her when i was 26 !! You are not too old !!
loony Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 I'm 28. Is is that they are dragging me down or is it that they are just being realistic? I bet if you ask men in their 20's and 30's they will tell you that they think there is something wrong with a woman who is single at 30. They should shut up and mind their own business. I've noticed that guys who make such remarks are usually very narrow-minded, boring, haven't accomplished that much in their life to have acquired the right to look down on me. In short, they are losers, without any goals, without any success with women, without anything that would justify it why they can criticize you except for the fact that they think they are men and can be daddies when they are 80. This may sound harsh, but it's what I think happens. Some people just like picking on your weak points in order to make themselves feel better. Maybe it's just hidden resentment that you are a woman and in the dating game have more advantage than them, so they take it out on you in other aspects.
Author JS17 Posted January 1, 2006 Author Posted January 1, 2006 Actually, it's mostly women that say these things to me.
johan Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 I'm 28. Is is that they are dragging me down or is it that they are just being realistic? I bet if you ask men in their 20's and 30's they will tell you that they think there is something wrong with a woman who is single at 30. 28 is not too old. And you have plenty of time to make sure it's the right person you start with. I think those people are wrong. As a man in my 30s, I can tell you I think there is nothing wrong with you at all. One thing I've realized is that people's paths through their love lives is always completely different. There is no way to say that there is one way it should go, and people who deviate from that have something wrong with them. I haven't observed many people doing things according to the "standard path". Definitely not me. Just do what makes sense to you, and things will work out ok.
loony Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Actually, it's mostly women that say these things to me. Are they really nice?
Author JS17 Posted January 1, 2006 Author Posted January 1, 2006 Are they really nice? I don't think anyone has said it to directly be mean. I'm probably just too sensitive and I think they're just being realistic.
Author JS17 Posted January 1, 2006 Author Posted January 1, 2006 Well at least I stopped obsessing over my past
Touche Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 I got married at 30 for the first time...it was a complete disaster. Divorced and found the love of my life at 33. Married and had a baby at 34. NO, of course it's not too late for you! I hope you dont have to wait as long as I did but it's worth it. Hold out for the BEST...I did.
Author JS17 Posted January 1, 2006 Author Posted January 1, 2006 I got married at 30 for the first time...it was a complete disaster. Divorced and found the love of my life at 33. Married and had a baby at 34. NO, of course it's not too late for you! I hope you dont have to wait as long as I did but it's worth it. Hold out for the BEST...I did. Well that's encouraging but I think that people say these things because I don't have the social skills to maintain a relationship.
Touche Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 That's ridiculous! I'll bet you're just a bit more discerning as far as your tastes in men...I know I am. Who cares what they think? If your social skills are so bad then why are they friends with you?
loony Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Well that's encouraging but I think that people say these things because I don't have the social skills to maintain a relationship. Are they in happy relationships? Would you change with them?
Touche Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Good point Loony! I was actually going to ask her the same thing.
Author JS17 Posted January 1, 2006 Author Posted January 1, 2006 I have mild social anxiety which comes out in full force in relationships. Mostly the people who think this way are the ones that are in happy relationships and I would trade with them. And I don't believe I am capable of a long term relationship and I've never been in one. I guess I'm too old to learn.
Touche Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 I have that social anxiety thing too! I really do. It won't matter. It shouldn't stop you from finding the right guy. Just be up front about it. Make a joke about it. Worked for me. I'm sure after you get to know someone you are comfortable with them. As far as your happy friends, that's great. I guess they just want you to be happy too. But you know, you CAN be happy until you meet the right guy...and you WILL in time. Believe me, everyone pretty much thinks they won't until they finally do. It's just for some of us it takes longer than for others.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Good point Loony! I was actually going to ask her the same thing. Yeah i think people get into other people buisness because they aren't happy in theirs so they thrive on making others feel they not worthy!! They have nothing better to do but make everyone miserable because they are!!
johan Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 I have mild social anxiety which comes out in full force in relationships. Mostly the people who think this way are the ones that are in happy relationships and I would trade with them. And I don't believe I am capable of a long term relationship and I've never been in one. I think you're being hard on yourself. I think you have tons of time to spend looking for the right person. And when you find him you'll have to work at it just like everyone else. So far you just haven't been motivated enough to fix whatever it is that is in your way. To me this post is evidence you may be ready.
loony Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 I have mild social anxiety which comes out in full force in relationships. Mostly the people who think this way are the ones that are in happy relationships and I would trade with them. And I don't believe I am capable of a long term relationship and I've never been in one. I guess I'm too old to learn. I think I also have a social anxiety, I've also never been in a long-term relationship, I think I have problems with intimacy and trust, I'm so picky that I think it becomes a serious problem, etc., etc. I do feel panic sometimes that I will never ever meet anybody, but rationally I think that's nonsense even when emotionally it feels different. I always thought you worry too much about minor things, I'm probably the same. We both worry too much about stuff that is not worth it. Cool down. Those people who think their relationships are so great and say such mean things to you should rather be careful that their great little relationships don't crumble down when one of their partner cheats. Pride will have a fall.
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