incognito Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Is it wise to start dating other people before you're over your ex? Is it good to have something to occupy your time, or is that just asking for more problems? I am still grieving the loss of the relationship, and still miss him terribly, but do feel we need to end things. Bonus Question: Is it possible to move on if you both still post at the same forum?
l13578920001 Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 No do not do that. You then just jurt somebody else. It will not solve anything honestly. You will just carry all of the pain with you to another relationship. You need to write a little more. Do you break up with him or did he break up with you? Honestly the best way to handle this situation is to not call for a while. LEt all the emotions drain out of you. Time does heal wounds. Keep yourself busy. Then you can contact him. I suggest going on a few causual dates if you want to get over someone. Releasize there are a lot of fish in the sea. I think a serious relationship would be a mistake however.
Author incognito Posted January 1, 2006 Author Posted January 1, 2006 No...I didn't mean anything serious.....I'm not ready for that
notmakingsense Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 It just depends how you deal with casual dates. Some folks, like me, are lousy on dates if we aren't over someone yet -- primarily because dating just makes us think of the situation even more. I'd just hang with friends and have fun. There are too many assumptions about romantic interest when dates happen. Posting on the same forum? As in LS? Yikes! I don't think that's so good. If he knows you are posting and vice-versa -- it is like an indirect way of maintaining contact. If he doesn't know you know he's posting -- its almost like an invasion of privacy -- but at the very least -- it isn't helping you forget him.
Author incognito Posted January 1, 2006 Author Posted January 1, 2006 It just depends how you deal with casual dates. Some folks, like me, are lousy on dates if we aren't over someone yet -- primarily because dating just makes us think of the situation even more. I'd just hang with friends and have fun. There are too many assumptions about romantic interest when dates happen. Posting on the same forum? As in LS? Yikes! I don't think that's so good. If he knows you are posting and vice-versa -- it is like an indirect way of maintaining contact. If he doesn't know you know he's posting -- its almost like an invasion of privacy -- but at the very least -- it isn't helping you forget him. Yeah.... ....not LS, but we both mod at a different site. I've tried staying away...but I like it there! *sigh* everything sucks
gordon_gc Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Someone told me something quite awful recently...a good way to move on is to have sex with 12 new girls (I am a guy) and then look back at your exgf and see if you still have the same feelings for her. I guess the idea behind that concept is mainly to get your confidence back, to see that you still can be attractive and that there are other people that worth a try. I wouldn't apply the sex thing though. A good alternative is to focus on yourself, make yourself feel good and force yourself to meet 12 new persons. At all time, I think you should be honest with the people you meet (you have been hurt yourself and there is no point hurting someone else that might have feeling for you). Try to socialise and you will see, you will certainly end up meeting someone that will make you think "I lovED my ex but there are other wonderful people to hang out with". The biggest issue is that you will tend to compare all the time. You will always find defaults. Just take the people you meet for what they are...enjoy!
Author incognito Posted January 1, 2006 Author Posted January 1, 2006 Someone told me something quite awful recently...a good way to move on is to have sex with 12 new girls (I am a guy) and then look back at your exgf and see if you still have the same feelings for her. I guess the idea behind that concept is mainly to get your confidence back, to see that you still can be attractive and that there are other people that worth a try. I wouldn't apply the sex thing though. A good alternative is to focus on yourself, make yourself feel good and force yourself to meet 12 new persons. At all time, I think you should be honest with the people you meet (you have been hurt yourself and there is no point hurting someone else that might have feeling for you). Try to socialise and you will see, you will certainly end up meeting someone that will make you think "I lovED my ex but there are other wonderful people to hang out with". The biggest issue is that you will tend to compare all the time. You will always find defaults. Just take the people you meet for what they are...enjoy! Thanks for the input (except for the sex part, lol) ....
Lonestar Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 I've been dating, but my heart hasn't been in it. I can't seem to get past a first dat with anyone, because either they're only looking for sex, or there is NO chemistry. 30 minutes into the date, I just want out, which makes me think of the ex more, even though I don't want him either. You have to weed through a lot of idiots until you find the "one." So keep dating. Maybe when you're eventually ready for something serious, you'll meet someone by then that you really want to be around. There's nothing wrong with dating during this period. Some people find it helpful, some don't. Personally, I like the distraction, but I don't like the letdown afterward when I know I don't want to see him again. It's a confusing time.
Jadey Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 NO! For one thing it wouldn't be fair on them. The only way it would be fair enpugh is if you let them know it's not serious, that you still love your ex and whatever. But i honestly think in any case it will all end in tears..
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