l13578920001 Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 I have never done anything like this before but I am losing my mind. I have been dating this girl for about a year now. Things escalated really fast. We were head over heals for each other. I would have done anything for her and she would have done anything for me. I took a break first and immediately realized I made a mistake. I understood that I wanted her. I just needed some things to change. We were doing really well until she just took a break from me days before xmas. It has been a week now. She says she still loves me, but she needs time to work on herself. She says she needs to be on her own. I am just so confused. Should I try to be there for her or should I leave her alone. I truly do not know the best approach. I try not to call. The days are fine, but at night when I sleep is the hardest. I just sit and stare at stuff. I guess what I am asking is does it sound like she really wants me back. I keep asking her if she wants me after she works on herself but she cannot say yes or no. I have seen her recently and we kissed each other. What is the best course of action. Should I be there waiting if she needs me. Does that make me weak? Will she not respect me then? Should I go out and let her realize that I am ok. I just want her back, but only if wants me to. How long should I wait? The most recent thing I did was tell her not to call unless she knows that she wants me. I think that is a good thing
notmakingsense Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 It sounds like she knows you want to reconnect with her. If so, I think the best thing to do is hang back and not contact her. If she doesn't reach out to you, then that's all the information you need -- its time to move on. Regarding a time limit? You'll know when you are ready. Just don't go out and date if your heart isn't in to it yet. In the mean-time, hang out with friends and get busy doing other stuff. 1
Author l13578920001 Posted January 1, 2006 Author Posted January 1, 2006 thank you very much I appreciate the advice, I think it scares me that I know that she will not reach out to me, and that is I why I keep trying to see her and change her mind. However, I have to accept my fate and wait it out, thank you very much
greyhound Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 I read your response to my post, thank you, so I will return the favor. I think you should just wait and see what happens. But, keep busy, do things that you like to do, visit some friends, good advice not to date again until you are ready. One of my New Years resolutions is to stop thinking about the "ex" so much. Mine was a 6 year relationship. I went out last night and hung out with an old friend. The holiday season is particularly difficult because all the memories surface. Also, everyone is tired and at times stressed. To sum up, don't make yourself crazy. Do what YOU really like to do. I agree, the late at night stuff alone is the most difficult. It is also part of the healing process. Be good to yourself and if the gf contacts you be honest with yourself AND with her. Do not worry about time limits. The gf knows how you feel. I wouldn't demand anymore. To me, it doesn't sound like an ultimatum is beneficial to either of you. I wish you the best of luck. I also wish that you don't get "strung along". I hope this a little helpful.
Lonestar Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Don't let her know you're sitting around waiting. that's the worst thing you can do, and her curiousity will be tapped if you stop contacting her and move on. She said she needs time and can not give you an answer right now. To me that sounds like someone who wants to keep you on a string in case she changes her mind. It's selfish and wrong to do that to someone else. Cut the cord, treat her with respect when you do it, and get on with your life. If she loved you, she wouldn't tell you that she doesn't have an answer. She would sit down and think about the answer, because it would be important for her not to lose you.
notmakingsense Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Don't let her know you're sitting around waiting. that's the worst thing you can do, and her curiousity will be tapped if you stop contacting her and move on. She said she needs time and can not give you an answer right now. To me that sounds like someone who wants to keep you on a string in case she changes her mind. It's selfish and wrong to do that to someone else. Cut the cord, treat her with respect when you do it, and get on with your life. If she loved you, she wouldn't tell you that she doesn't have an answer. She would sit down and think about the answer, because it would be important for her not to lose you. Oh Man Lonestar -- that describes my exgf perfectly. After a week of her not returning my calls/notes, I wrote her an e-mail breaking it off. Another week of NC, and she finally called. I asked her to tell me where her mind was at... her response? "I just don't know -- I can't go there right now -- I need more time." I've been strong enough not to contact her again. That was two weeks ago now.
Author l13578920001 Posted January 1, 2006 Author Posted January 1, 2006 I so agree with you lonestar. If she truly loved me she would know she wanted me. THank you guys very much, you guys have really helped
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