robaday Posted July 11, 2024 Posted July 11, 2024 There is a woman at work who I recently connected to (I am a straight male). We went for lunch one day and I felt we had a connection and chemistry. We work in a very large office and on different teams and most days I don't encounter her. She asked me to lunch again three weeks ago and I happily accepted, and during it she told me she had a partner. Which I was fine with I wasn't really expecting anything. But again I did feel attraction and when I looked at the clock I realised we had been gone from the office for 2.5 hours just talking. We both shyly laughed and rushed back. She asked me to meet again three weeks ago for a drink with her and some friends but I politely declined, as I am conscious I have a crush on her and don't want any awkwardness and also I know she has a partner. Since then she has messaged quite a bit and I've been polite back but I guess I'm a bit embarrassed about my crush and don't want to go there. Am I doing the right thing or am I rude for not wanting to hang out?
ShyViolet Posted July 11, 2024 Posted July 11, 2024 It's very weird that she keeps asking you to go out, in light of the fact that she is in a relationship. I do think you did the right thing in steering clear of this.
MsJayne Posted July 12, 2024 Posted July 12, 2024 I'd keep it friendly but be wary of her intentions. Women are capable of being the office sleaze just as much as men are, and you could be setting yourself up for a lot of hurt.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 12, 2024 Posted July 12, 2024 Since you have a crush and she is not single, you are absolutely doing the right thing to keep your distance. She seems to be fishing for attention. I would keep interactions minimal and professional.
Author robaday Posted July 12, 2024 Author Posted July 12, 2024 Thank you for the replies! Strange situation for me as I don't normally get crushes where I actually have to avoid the person, but I guess I haven't been dating for quite some time so maybe its easier in the place I am at where I have just been working long hours without much else going on. Good reminder to get more of a social life and other options. And thank you for the advice good to hear I acting appropriately.
Lotsgoingon Posted July 12, 2024 Posted July 12, 2024 (edited) Definitely keep distance, as you are doing. Edited July 12, 2024 by Lotsgoingon
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