My physiotherapist gave me his number - should I ask him out?

[hahh58980]

My single physiotherapist, who is roughly 50, has been flirting with me, aged 34, for a few months after several years of having treatment. I decided to ask for his number because I was tired of wondering whether he was interested, but now I'm still uncertain. I'm no longer his patient and he has referred me to a new clinic.

I asked if he would like to stay in touch. He said, "yes, sure, we've known each other a long time". He wasn't really flirting with me at this point... but I was also sharing some negative news in this appointment, that I had just lost my job (it's a long story), which he talked to me about for most of the session.

I'm a health professional as well, and my boss asked me to turn down a client on the basis of her not sharing the values of the practice. My client lived quite a promiscuous lifestyle and my boss is a Christian. I talked about this situation with my physio, and he asked "well, what could you say to the client as the reason for not continuing treatment?", and I said, "yeah, exactly - I said to my boss - what do you want me to do, tell my client that my boss thinks you're a wh0re?" After I said this, he turned bright red and just kept smiling and looking down. I obviously embarrassed him.

After he said yes, I wasn't sure whether to ask for his number or give him mine, but eventually he said, "um, do you have my number?" I said no, and he shared his number. We were both quite awkward and quiet during this exchange. I didn't want to openly flirt incase it wasn't reciprocal.

I texted him to give him my number, and he acknowledged the text, but hasn't asked me out. Before I left the appointment, he told me to let him know how the job search goes with a smile.

What do you think? Should I ask him out? When?

Thanks!

 

[Gaeta]

What's the worse that could happen? He says he's not interested and you move on, nothing lost, right?

[introverted1]

2 hours ago, hahh58980 said:

I texted him to give him my number, and he acknowledged the text, but hasn't asked me out.

You asked for his number and then you followed up by giving him your number.  He knows you're interested.  If he's interested, he'll ask you out. 

[stillafool]

I would try to find someone closer to my age if I were you.

[ZA Dater]

3 hours ago, stillafool said:

I would try to find someone closer to my age if I were you.

Seems big age gaps are what some people want.

[stillafool]

10 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

Seems big age gaps are what some people want.

People are getting hard up.  It's rough out there.

[Sony12]

22 minutes ago, stillafool said:

People are getting hard up.  It's rough out there.

 

No. Usually when people do age gap dating they aren't really looking for anything serious. Age gap partners often have very good physical chemistry if they are able to get along well. The older individual likes the youth and the younger person likes the experience.

[ZA Dater]

17 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

 

No. Usually when people do age gap dating they aren't really looking for anything serious. Age gap partners often have very good physical chemistry if they are able to get along well. The older individual likes the youth and the younger person likes the experience.

You are most probably right there are probably some other benefits too. As someone who is 40, a 23yo has zero interest.

OP, ask him out, it's better I think to act than wonder.

[Gaeta]

OP is 34. Age gap is irrelevant at her age. It's not like she's 20 and wanting to date a 36 year old.

[Sony12]

Yeah no harm in asking but after reading through the OP's message I'm not sure he was giving out his number for personal reasons. 

[basil67]

14 hours ago, hahh58980 said:

I said to my boss - what do you want me to do, tell my client that my boss thinks you're a wh0re?"

I'd probably also be awkward and quiet if a potential date used language this crass.  If he's generally thoughtfully spoken, you may have put him off

[hahh58980]

Thanks for your help, everyone.

I hope I haven't put him off - we've known each other a long time, so I think it's more that he'd be surprised to hear this language from me. I was surprised too - but I couldn't tolerate the discrimination!

I'm going to message him when I find a new job, to let him know how the job search is going, as he suggested, and at the same time invite him out.

It occurred to me that he didn't say anything along the lines of, "well, it's been great knowing you, all the best for the future!" That could mean he wants to see me again.

[BaileyB]

19 hours ago, hahh58980 said:

I'm a health professional as well

If you are a healthcare professional then you should know that if a complaint is filed with this College, he will lose his license to practice and ability to work as a physiotherapist. 

Edited July 12, 2024 by BaileyB

[hahh58980]

I know! That's what makes it very tricky, and I wonder if that is part of the reason he isn't asking me out.

[BaileyB]

8 minutes ago, hahh58980 said:

I know! That's what makes it very tricky, and I wonder if that is part of the reason he isn't asking me out.

If he values his ability to work within his profession, I would say that you are correct. 

It’s not “tricky,” it‘s not going to happen. Licensing bodies are very clear about relationships between professionals and clients - even after the therapeutic relationship has ended, it’s an absolute certainty that he will lose his ability to practice if ever a complaint is filed. And that complaint could come from a coworker who learns of his inappropriate relationship and reports him to the College. They take this very seriously. 

Edited July 12, 2024 by BaileyB

[hahh58980]

Hmm, you are right. What about a friendship? This guy is hot, but I also like him as a person and I'd be happy enough with friendship.

[ironpony]

That age gap is 16 years which is the same between me and my gf.  As for being possibly hard up, well dating is tough, and there are going to be some compromises for sure?