I'm doing a business meeting at the moment and I'll only be seeing this woman who is there for one more week. How do I approach asking her for her number?

[David Redders]

She and I are doing the same business meeting, our companies work together sometimes. It ends a week tomorrow. She and I have been speaking for the last couple of days ago and I really do find her to be lovely. She’s a little bit older than I am, we know a bit about each other’s personal life and I know that she’s single. 
 

We don’t live too far away from each other, but we both live quiet lives and our jobs almost guarantee that we shall never see each other again. We spent the dinner together earlier on (although a couple of other people from the meeting were with us, we spoke a lot). I actually suggested going to a pub for dinner and she said no and that she was going for a walk because the weather was so nice, but we saw each other and she even said she should have gone with me and we could tomorrow. 
 

I like the way she looks and her personality. We do seem to click. I want to ask her for her number tomorrow when I see her, but if she says no then it would be so extremely awkward for the rest of next week. 
 

What should I do? I really do need advice.

[SurfCity]

Just do it. Your life won't end if you experience awkwardness for 7 days. It's unlikely it will be awkward at all actually. And she might say yes.

[David Redders]

12 minutes ago, SurfCity said:

Just do it. Your life won't end if you experience awkwardness for 7 days. It's unlikely it will be awkward at all actually. And she might say yes.

My issue is that I can’t tell if she’s just being friendly or not. We have spoken so much. We know where each other live (the areas), we are both single, how many kids we have, what music we like, our specific, what cars we drive, where we want to travel to, etc, etc. 

That’s true, it is only seven days of being awkward, but I am quite shy and I also hate rejection.

Should I wait until next week or just ask her tomorrow at some point?

 

Edited June 27, 2024 by David Redders

[smackie9]

You don't ask someone out because they tell you to do so....you ask someone out because you like them...that's all you need. You don't need signals, green lights, flares, or flags etc. Confidence wins the girl. 

[Gaeta]

If she liked you `that way`she would not have said  no to your dinner invitation (over taking a walk!) That tells me she sees you as a friend, no more. 

Edited June 27, 2024 by Gaeta

[SurfCity]

4 hours ago, David Redders said:

Should I wait until next week or just ask her tomorrow at some point?

I would ask her to eat lunch/dinner just the two of you a couple times over the next week. If she says yes and you two have a good time, then ask for her number a day or two before the conference ends. If she turns down all your invitations, then don't ask for her number because she's not interested. 

[David Redders]

7 hours ago, Gaeta said:

If she liked you `that way`she would not have said  no to your dinner invitation (over taking a walk!) That tells me she sees you as a friend, no more. 

The weather was red hot and she said she wanted to go for a walk. She caught up to me and we spoke for like 1 1/2 hours. She said that she should have gone and suggested we do it next time.

[basil67]

9 hours ago, David Redders said:

but I am quite shy and I also hate rejection.

Yeah, rejection is tough.  But if you don't take chances, you won't find success

My reading on this situation is very positive. (And I tell a lot of people here with similar questions that there are no signs of success!)  Of course, that doesn't guarantee that she will say yes, but I think it's well worth a shot.  If she says no, it will be disappointing, so just lick your wounds for a bit and get back out there.  And remember, if someone rejects you, it's not because you're bad or wrong or whatever....it's simply because you're not a match.

Edited June 28, 2024 by basil67

[ZA Dater]

14 hours ago, smackie9 said:

You don't ask someone out because they tell you to do so....you ask someone out because you like them...that's all you need. You don't need signals, green lights, flares, or flags etc. Confidence wins the girl. 

Brilliant advice for anyone in this position. OP I think the signs are positive so its definitely worth a try. Try find as much confidence as you can!

[Alpacalia]

I'll give the same advice I gave in a similar thread.

I know it's the obvious answer but the only way this is going to move forward is if you build some type of friendship or relationship which allows you two to communicate via some channel besides seeing each other at a business function.

Or, keep playing the waiting game, keep obsessing, keep trying to engineer run ins, keep not talking to her, keep interrogating your feelings, and eventually convince yourself that something amazing is about to happen. Who knows, maybe it'll work itself out.

The reality though is that she may indeed be thinking the exact same things as you, or not give a rodent's ass. And not that many gals are real keen on pursing guys in some kind of vacuum where the guy just endlessly stares from across the room, or happily tolerates short public conversations with them. No matter who they are, or how grotesquely confident and masterful men think they are with women eh. 

[introverted1]

Don't overthink it.  Ask.  Worst case, she says no and you feel dejected for a day.  Best case, she says yes.  What do you have to lose, really? 

[Esteban]

I think I would go for it as well. Some women do hate being chatted up in a business context and have to deal with a lot of cr@p so approach carefully. i.e. no references to how good looking she is or flirting, just very polite dinner invitation with a slight smile and if she declines perhaps ask her if she thinks it was inappropriate and ask her if she would like to be assured that you will not do it again.

I think I'd be inclined to do it about 3 days from the end. That still gives you a chance again if you bottle it. Also leaving it to the last day you might not be alone with her, or she might be sick or something.

[Lotsgoingon]

The first step is really to just extend and deepen the conversations between you two--so it's clear there is a bond. 

Then ask her out again. 

[Sony12]

I am having a hard time understanding why you two would likely never see each other again after this meeting is over if you live pretty close to one another. Does neither of you really like leaving your house?

[basil67]

13 hours ago, Sony12 said:

I am having a hard time understanding why you two would likely never see each other again after this meeting is over if you live pretty close to one another. Does neither of you really like leaving your house?

Living "not too far away" doesn't necessarily translate as being "pretty close".   

When it comes to being "pretty close",  one of my friends lives in my suburb and shops at the same stores, so we run into each other regularly.  Another friend lives a just couple of suburbs away, shops at different stores and I've never run into her accidentally.   

Then there are the people who I would say "live not too far away".  To me, this is probably about  30-45 minute drive.  Close enough to visit or have a relationship, but not so close that you'd ever run into them accidentally

I think if OP says that he's unlikely to see her again, he probably knows what he's talking about.